I think an apology is in order!

[Big Cliff]

I am sorry if I haven’t seemed myself lately, I haven’t been myself! A lot of things have been piling up and I think the stress and fatigue have made me lash out when I normally would have looked at things with a much more positive and sensitive attitude.

 

Our daughter was recently diagnosed with non Hodgkin’s lymphoma; she is only 38 and handling it like a trooper. Me, I am having a harder time of it. Any of you with kids know how helpless a dad can feel when you can’t fix things for your kids.

 

This past fall Sue developed more heart issues and because of her previous heart surgeries there were a lot of complications. They operated on her on Monday but had to abort the operation because things started to go badly. They were able to resolve one of the issues but not the other so she is left with her heart only pumping about 30% of what it should be. You have no idea how many times I wake up during the night and reach over to see if she is still breathing.

 

Our police officers are getting gunned down in the streets, our kids are getting stabbed and shot in our schools, our soldiers are getting killed on Canadian soil by an enemy we can’t even see. This isn’t the Canada I was born and grew up in!

 

The Canada I grew up in a fight in school resulted in a bloody nose; you didn’t mess with the Police, they were respected; and a soldier could wear his/her uniform anywhere without fear of being targeted by some nut.

 

Yes, it does bother me that we have made so many changes to our way of life, things like the Lord’s Prayer, Christmas pageants, standing at attention and singing O’Canada at the start of the school day. These were all part of growing up for me, they were a way of life and it was a good life. I have watched as we have gone from saying Merry Christmas to “Happy Holidays” because we might offend someone. (Well you know what I mean, there is nothing to be gained by re hashing it all)

 

Perhaps it is because of my age; might just be the stress and pressure lately; probably a combination but I feel scared for the first time in my life. It feels like everything I love and hold dear to me is in jeopardy and I am helpless to stop it, it makes me angry because I am not use to being helpless.

 

So, if I have offended or insulted anyone I truly apologize, those of you that know me know that I have never looked down on anyone unless it was to offer them a hand up. I have never judged anyone by their color, race, nationality, or religion.

 

To the moderators and all than have responded to my recent diatribes; thank you for your tolerance and keeping things civil. Reading and re-reading all the posts and responses provided gave me an opportunity to reflect on a lot of things while I sat in the cardio unit for 12 hours waiting for word on Sue. She is home now and while she has a way to go we are headed in the right direction.

 

Sincerely

Big Cliff

Edited November 5, 2014 by Big Cliff

[Joey]

Gosh Cliff, don't know what to say. Sorry seems like a pittance of a word for what you are going through. You take care bud and good luck with your daughter and wife. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and apparently you have been thrown 2

 

I did not notice any bad responses but have not been reading the board like I used to due to my own problems.

 

Take care and call me or email me if you need to talk.

 

Joey

[ketchenany]

Our thought are with you and your family Cliff. Don't worry about what other people think, You have done your part and more for our nation.

[woodenboater]

No need to explain things Cliff and I think the community benefited from the discussion you started. Fingers crossed for your wife and daughter and they're back to 100% in due time

 

These are very chaotic and fluid times we're living in now but I believe this country can weather and persevere through the minefield that lays ahead.

 

take care

Edited November 5, 2014 by woodenboater

[Fisherman]

Hang in there, hopefully all turns out okay for your family.

[bigcreekdad]

Cliff....no apologies necessary. I'll offer up a few prayers for both your wife and daughter.

 

As for the changes you mentioned since your younger days, we in the USA feel your pain.

 

 

[wallyboss]

Sending a Knee Mail to the big guy upstairs for you and your family Cliff.

[solopaddler]

That's a lot of worry to be shouldering. All the best to you and yours Cliff.

[lew]

Best of luck with your families health issues Cliff.

[Sinker]

Keep your chin up Cliff. Things always work out in the end. You have the best Karma I know of, so you have no worries!

 

S.

[John]

No apologies necessary, at least to me Cliff. We have known each other for some time and both know the true make up of one another. We all have our trying times and challenges in our lives and react to them differently. Please give Sue and your daughter our love and best wishes.

[NewHips]

I will keep you and your family in my prayers, life is a rocky road for sure.

[irishfield]

I know how much it sucks to be able to fix anything with a pocket knife and a hammer Cliff, but I can't fix my own kid! You lash out all you want !

[ratherboutdoors]

All the best, remember that they need you strong so don't forget to considerate to your health.

[manjo39]

Hi Cliff, my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. Pass on my best wishes to Sue and your daughter.

I had no idea Sue (and you) was going through this. She is always a ray of sunshine when we see her.

Let me know if there is anything we can do for you.

[AKRISONER]

when you said "feeling helpless not being able to help your kids out" this really hit home and makes me really reflect on all that my father does for me.

 

as us young hip-hop enthusiasts would say "lifes ill"

 

Best of luck I hope everything works out just fine for your whole family.

[crappieperchhunter]

Look after yourself so you can be there for Sue and your daughter Cliff. The rest is out of your hands so try not to stress anymore then you have to..... I know easier said then done. Feel free to get ahold of us if your down in the city with anything concerning Sue . We would be happy to help in any way we can.

[Beans]

I must have missed sumpin' but I don't see anything you need to apologize for...

 

Sorry to hear about your daughter...

 

You got my number if you need to talk...

 

Give Sue a kiss for us...

[ccmtcanada]

Cliff...I see no reason for an apology either! I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter and the health issues with Sue. I often think of her and hoping she was holding her own. Let me know if there is anything I can do help out ok?

[e-z-out]

No need for any apologies cliff.

You take care of your beautiful wife and family.

Our beautiful country has changed in so many way the past 30 years.

It will get better my old friend.

[jimmer]

As others have stated, no need to apologize Cliff. We do live in a free country after all. We all have views and different opinions and they can be voiced as long as we are not hurtful to others. The responses to any opinions can only help all of us.

My thoughts are with you and your family as you deal with the challenges of life.

[4x4bassin]

Chin up Cliff , all the best to you and your family .

[OhioFisherman]

Best wishes for you and your family, we all are capable of a little rant sometimes?

[fishnsled]

Positive thoughts for your family Cliff. A difficult time for all of you I'm sure and no apologies necessary.

[bigugli]

This was not what I expected to read, after you had told us about Sue's impending surgery. You have nothing to apologize for. You are a far better man than too many I have known.

 

You just focus on that family of yours. Anything you need help with, you just call.