pike slayer Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 This spring we are putting our house up for sale. We want to upgrade to a larger home closer to town where in the future raise a family. We are looking at the local listings and we are fighting over the type and quality of home. My wife is looking at these houses you can clearly see are flip houses. They are 100% complete and no room to add any value to the house. i do not like the fact that i dont know what exactly has been done. Now i work in restoration and i repair homes are floods,fires,etc. I do basically everything. My ideal home is a shack that i rebuild to make my own but she definitely wont go for something in that need of a repair. So im looking for homes that need say a new kitchen, bath, basement redo and some painting. Things that can really add value and i get to do it exactly how i like it. She is pretty much in tears saying she just wants to live comfortable in a construction free zone. To me every house needs work and it never ends. So what should i do? put my head down and say yes dear and get a turn key house and hope they did a good job. or do i go against her and i take the final say? If houses didnt cost so much i'd go her route and wait 6 months for something to go wrong and say told ya so!! need some advice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRIFTER_016 Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 I say smother her with a pillow and dump her body in the woods. You can then sell the house and move to a log cabin in BC and fish full time living off the insurance money!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moxie Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 (edited) I say smother her with a pillow and dump her body in the woods. You can then sell the house and move to a log cabin in BC and fish full time living off the insurance money!!! X2!!! Sorry to say there is no other way. Edited February 7, 2014 by moxie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 Let her get the house she likes. What's that saying: If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!! Getting a fixer upper and renovating it now will do you no good in the future for sale purposes as most likely, by the time you want to sell, the renovations will be old and/or out of date with new styles. I have several female friends who have agreed to live in a fixer uppers as their husband is a handyman/renovator and guess what, after many, many years, the homes are still unfinished. That would drive me nuts to be honest. Just my opnion, and you asked Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdougy Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 It's called petty coat government! Your screwed for the rest of your life. Seriously! But you could try this. Quit looking at anything until you both come to agree on what is the maximum mortgage you are willing to have, then agree to find a place that needs a little bit done. (How about a basement or bathroom) not the whole place. IMO the day you make money on fixing up personal houses is kinda over. Unless you are flipping them quick or downgrading. My question is, why do u want to raise kids in town? In the country you know what your kids are doing and with who. In town there is more serious trouble for kids to get into and you cant control as easy who they hang around. FWIW working an 18 hr day for months isn't all that fun. Especially since you do it all day, come home and and do it more. Then she says: that's not straight, do you know what your doing? Been there Done that.. Not fun. And chews up all your pocket cash if that's the way your paying. Also don't forget silly, your asking a fishing community about doing nite/weekend work. BAD IDEA. GO FISH'N Or get a POS house and I will buy your stradic for 40$ since you don't use it anymore! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigugli Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 Don't know many wives who have been happy with "homes with potential"/ fixer uppers. If you do go that route you better have a solid game plan and timeline to follow. Two of my neighbours bought project houses. They wound up selling before completion as part of the divorce settlement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HTHM Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 My home was a former cat house, (four legged variety), and I did a complete re-do from bare studs to finish. Knowing what I know now, I would have torn it down and rebuilt. Look at a brand new house with an unfinished basement perhaps. Warranty and the ability to add value by finishing the basement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillsTheBassMan Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 It's a tough call. I would avoid the cookie cutter new build variety home if that isn't for you. The fact is you both need to be happy. I would try and angle a compromise towards a good solid raised bungalow or sidesplit of the 1970 to 1980 time frame. The bones are usually pretty solid, you usually have a property with it, they tend to be turnkey but tend to have 2 or 3 things that need an eventual update. No chance of asbestos either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crappieperchhunter Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 Construction zones are no fun for anyone. If you think she doesn't like the idea now wait until you have kids and your wife is stuck at home on maternity leave with a sick toddler and a bathroom all tore up or the inlaws show up for a weekend and your kitchen is not quite finished...been there done that. As mentioned above buy a brand new home with an unfinished basement. Todays codes ensure a good standard all around on everything so the house will be sound, and you can putter in the basement without getting in anyone's way. If this is going to be your home and not a flip house any work you do now will be old and tired before you go to sell and you can go reno crazy then. The kids will be out of your hair and you will have more $$$ to play with and way more time. I'm there right now, 26 year old home getting tired and needs some sprucing up. Damned if I have the energy or ambition to do it though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
porkpie Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 It's a tough call. I would avoid the cookie cutter new build variety home if that isn't for you. The fact is you both need to be happy. I would try and angle a compromise towards a good solid raised bungalow or sidesplit of the 1970 to 1980 time frame. The bones are usually pretty solid, you usually have a property with it, they tend to be turnkey but tend to have 2 or 3 things that need an eventual update. No chance of asbestos either. This is what I did. Mind you, the house had been well kept and had some updates. There was nothing I HAD to do to live there. The added benefit was a 70x 160 lot with lots of room. I have to agree with the avoiding the city as well. I live in a small town, well removed from the city, my kids are benefiting from it hugely, and I can drive 3 minutes and buy fresh corn and fresh produce off the farm all summer long. Fishing is literally 4 minutes walk from my front door, and I can have my boat in the water in 10 minutes if I want to. Oh, and the people are nicer! All that said, my final thoughts to you are this: the old saying of a happy wife making for a happy life is true, fortunately I married someone with a similar vision. If she is in tears now, it will be miserable later if you take her to far out of her comfort zone. That may lead to problems in you marriage later, especially if you don't follow through with all the promises you made on the fixer upper. Something to think about anyway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishing n autograph Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 Happy wife happy life. It's a tough pill to swallow but if you can't compromise get the house she wants. Just remember every house will need renos one day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rod Caster Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 Quite the dilema. I'm no marriage councilor or house expert, so I'll just say this..... Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muddler Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 Each of you make a list privately. The list has three columns. 1. Must have 2. Like to have 3. Cannot have Then sit down with both lists and copy all the things that are the same on both lists in the tree columns. Draw a horizontal line and copy down all the differences that are on the two original lists under the same three columns. You may be surprised how little the two of you are apart. The last thing to do is to discuss a compromise of the items below the line. Ask yourself that famous question, "How is this going to change my life 5 years, 10 years 20 years from now?" If the answer is, "Not much", then give in , if the answer is, "I just can't do that", then you'll have to work to convince her to go that route. Ask her to do the same. Put the lists away for a week or two and look at them again. You may be surprised by both your changes of "needs" in a house. I found that when you put things in black and white on paper a lot of the arguing disappears and a lot of common sense filters back in. Just my one and a half cents. muddler Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillM Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 Which has a bigger impact on your bottom line? If the end result is a proper house done the right way, I can't understand why you'd fork out all kinds of extra $$$ for someone elses flip. That just doesn't make any sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Headhunter Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 You indicated that you are seeking a house to make into a home for you, your with and the kids to come. I fail to understand how buying a fixer upper is in anyway going to pay you back. By the time the kids have grown up and are off to school or out on there own, everything you did when you intially moved in, will be dated, worn and need replacing. My advice, buy a turn key home that only requires small fixes to meet your expectations and lifestyle. I always tell folks to live in a new to them house for atleast a year, before you decide to make any major changes. Time will teach you what you really want/need. If it was me, I'd be focused on what will make my family happiest in the new home and endless reno's is definately not going to do that. You already know what's not going to make them/her happy. HH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayess Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 I argue the earlier claim that new houses sound. Some of the $hit I've found in our 8 year old home is ridiculous. Insulation issues, lack of caulking, bare minimums everywhere.... Sure the house doesn't sway in the wind but all this lazyass corner cutting drives me bonkers. One thing to consider if you hope to "get your way" is a bridge loan: acquire the new house earlier, get your renos done right away, move in to what your wife wants. Win win provided you can live up to your end of the bargain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade67 Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 If your gonna buy a house that needs some work try to avoid the one that needs the kitchen done right away. I've witnessed some break-ups over kitchen renos...lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moxie Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 (edited) Let her get the house she likes. What's that saying: If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!! Getting a fixer upper and renovating it now will do you no good in the future for sale purposes as most likely, by the time you want to sell, the renovations will be old and/or out of date with new styles. I have several female friends who have agreed to live in a fixer uppers as their husband is a handyman/renovator and guess what, after many, many years, the homes are still unfinished. That would drive me nuts to be honest. Just my opnion, and you asked Looking for our second home(the one we live in now) it was my wife who saw the potential and pushed for me to have an open mind and realize that same potential. 9 years in I have done a crap load of work from paint, re-finishing the hardwood throughout, new trim and doors throughout, gut and finish the basement, two complete bathrooms and replace 75% of the windows. I figure the cost in materials and minor labour for things I couldn't do myself, to be about $12,000-14,000. All is done in neutral decor to satisfy most and to maximize all style, in style for time to come. It's been difficult at times, walking away a few times to re group. I am proud of what I've been able to do but one little detail hangs around my neck. It isn't finished and with a kitchen and 5 windows left to close the deal I don't know if I have any gas left in the tank in my mid 40's to complete the job. I can tell Mamma ain't thrilled with her out dated 50 yr old kitchen but knowing the blood and sweat that was spilled and scars thar will forever remain, she doesn't kick up too much fuss. After all, it was her that wanted to do it this way. Don't know many wives who have been happy with "homes with potential"/ fixer uppers. If you do go that route you better have a solid game plan and timeline to follow. Two of my neighbours bought project houses. They wound up selling before completion as part of the divorce settlement. Even though there were probably other underlying issues there, It can and does cause some strain on a relationship. No doubt. Edited February 7, 2014 by moxie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rustic-Fisher Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 I feel your pain LOL, I've flipped two houses for decent $$$$$ and the wife complained at the start of each project But never once about the $$$ made on the resale. Funny how that works. Had our first child during the second project, DRASTICALLY extended the completion . R Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adempsey Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 I am curious as to why your wife feels this way. Is your current house one of those always under construction? Be realistic in what you are able to accomplish within a reasonable time frame. Just because you are qualified and capable, doesn't mean you will have the time and energy to do so. Regardless, time to give in or come to a compromise, like an unfinished basement. Fighting over something as big as this can destroy you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisherman Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 Sometimes a new wife works better..and cheaper.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grt1 Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 when I started building my house, I told the wife I wouldn't retire until it was finished, well it has been 19 years of retirement and i'm still not done, I think she's used to the fact that things take time. maybe not as much as I've taken but over the time frame she has gotten use to the little things that are left to do. just remember, happy wife, happy life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Mills Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 Don't underestimate the material costs. Even if you do the work yourself renovating is expensive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irishfield Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 Such horror stories these guys are feeding you... Leah's happy as can be these days. I just finished our master bathroom a week or so ago... after about 14 months of seriously working on it in between hospital sittings and estimate I have a good 500 hours of labour into it. In another 5 months it will only be 19 YEARS since I started digging the footings for this house! She's waited a long time for that big storage closet to turn into the bathroom it was always supposed to be......she should be happy.. lol I like Dave's first response the best though... As for "fighting" over what to do... I suspect fighting isn't really the right word, discussing might be a better fit? If not.. then suggest most of these guys are right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lhousesoccer Posted February 7, 2014 Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 This spring we are putting our house up for sale. We want to upgrade to a larger home closer to town where in the future raise a family. We are looking at the local listings and we are fighting over the type and quality of home. My wife is looking at these houses you can clearly see are flip houses. They are 100% complete and no room to add any value to the house. i do not like the fact that i dont know what exactly has been done. Now i work in restoration and i repair homes are floods,fires,etc. I do basically everything. My ideal home is a shack that i rebuild to make my own but she definitely wont go for something in that need of a repair. So im looking for homes that need say a new kitchen, bath, basement redo and some painting. Things that can really add value and i get to do it exactly how i like it. She is pretty much in tears saying she just wants to live comfortable in a construction free zone. To me every house needs work and it never ends. So what should i do? put my head down and say yes dear and get a turn key house and hope they did a good job. or do i go against her and i take the final say? If houses didnt cost so much i'd go her route and wait 6 months for something to go wrong and say told ya so!! need some advice! Happy Wife, Happy Life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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