What would you guys do? NF

[bare foot wader]

that's awesome! step in the right direction

[chris.brock]

So which one of her new friends is a vegetarian... or which teacher has swayed her this way with propaganda?

 

Dude, I politely disagree. This is obviously something she strongly believes in. What you wrote disturbs me to be honest.

 

 

 

I'm a bit of a tree hugger. I eat everything though. Sorry Bud, I don't think you should have made her change the topic for her speech. She's obviously passionate about it. If a kid is happy, sociable, motivated, that's all that really counts.

 

I hope I'm still welcome in your boat

 

Lew, I seem to agree with stuff you say, wanna go fishing some time?

[Salmonidstalker]

You can't be upset that she has a mind and thinks for herself. To me, this is something that I would nurture in a daughter. i dont know why you would be upset, as I am an angler and hunter just as yourself and would not care whether my daughter had a different opinion on this subject.

 

for example, I am an athiest; if my kids decide on their own to believe in a religion, so be it.

Edited March 3, 2015 by VXP

[highdrifter]

Whoah that's what we call a touch dude..

 

You got yourself one feisty 10 year old there bawd.. I'd be scared poopless! But as others have stated here, I think it's best that you let her do her thing..

 

If you don't.. next thing you know, she'll be handing out P3TA pamphlets at Yonge and Dundas!!

Edited March 3, 2015 by Highdrifter

[lookinforwalleye]

Nothing that I could say will help as I have raised 3 sons(thank god)...but I did raise them with a firm hand and strong moral values and they understood my house my rules, they felt like they were hard done by at the time but they got over it and grew up to be well adjusted adults who love meat and fishing and eat the odd fish!!!

 

I do understand well perhaps I don`t that kids nowadays seem to have some sort of control over their parents and do what ever they please....who is the parent?

[Joey]

This reminds me of a movie I just watched Mike. The younger daughter of one of the sisters did not eat meat and when questioned about it at the dinner table by her uncle with all family members present (it was a funeral supper) she said she didn't want to eat "fear." She said all animals feel fear and that right before they are killed, that fear goes into their meat, so she did not want to eat that. They made fun of her and she was not impressed.

 

I think you are going to have to let this one go because remembering back to when I was a young gal, when dad said I could not do something, it made me want to do it even more out of rebellion.

 

You can have your beliefs and she will have hers, for the rest of time

 

Good luck.

[solopaddler]

You can't be upset that she has a mind and thinks for herself. To me, this is something that I would nurture in a daughter. i dont know why you would be upset

I'm thrilled that she thinks for herself.

I do nurture this trait.

Upset because she's 10 and I think it was a misguided notion on her part.

Thankfully the issue has been resolved.

 

 

.. next thing you know, she'll be handing out P3TA pamphlets at Yonge and Dundas!!

 

I guess I'd be okay with that as long she's not knocked up at the same time.

 

 

I do understand well perhaps I don`t that kids nowadays seem to have some sort of control over their parents and do what ever they please....who is the parent?

 

Exactly Gord.

 

This reminds me of a movie I just watched Mike. The younger daughter of one of the sisters did not eat meat and when questioned about it at the dinner table by her uncle with all family members present (it was a funeral supper) she said she didn't want to eat "fear." She said all animals feel fear and that right before they are killed, that fear goes into their meat, so she did not want to eat that. They made fun of her and she was not impressed.

 

I think you are going to have to let this one go because remembering back to when I was a young gal, when dad said I could not do something, it made me want to do it even more out of rebellion.

 

You can have your beliefs and she will have hers, for the rest of time

 

Good luck.

Thanks Joey.

[Joey]

No, thank you Mike, makes me think of all the crap I put my dad through I kinda feel bad now ha ha ha!

[irishfield]

So is it you that's the teacher Chris or your partner? You seem to stand up for them at every opportunity. Mike got what I was getting at.... all that matters in my books.

 

Someone has influenced this child, at 10 years of age, to go this way in her thoughts ( a new friend, one of their parents or a teacher as it's not coming from home).... but like everyone else (including myself) has stated Mike has got to let it play out (while he hide's in the corner).

Edited March 3, 2015 by irishfield

[lew]

 

 

 

Lew, I seem to agree with stuff you say, wanna go fishing some time?

 

Sounds good to me Chris

[kickingfrog]

Whoa boy, this is easy.... sitting in my living room with kids too young to have such strong ideas about their place in the world... yet.

 

As you've acknowledged she is many of the things you want in a daughter and the fact that she's willing to stand up to you also speaks volumes.

 

Have you listened to the speech? Does she make valid points? Is she only making the emotional argument? I seem to remember that for our speeches we needed to at least mention the "other side" to our argument. Maybe you could have her discuss the fact that she and her family have been part of the food-web and will continue to be and maybe even the friction it has caused.

 

Some times when we the harder we push the harder they push back.

 

Good luck, and take notes because I'm sure I'm on the same track but just a few years behind you.

[Rod Caster]

She's obviously smart and understands/wants learning and research. Maybe you could use that to your advantage... teach her examples of human history and current societies that rely on meat and hunting and fishing and how that's helped us/them evolve/survive. Mothers with breastmilk production issues in the past could not always rely on wetnurses, they used cows milk or goats milk...Her views really only apply to a modern society where a vegetarian diet is actually available. Try relying on vegetables in the arctic, now or 200 years ago. She's missing some information; if she really desires to give this speech, she may need more information so that it's not one-sided, geographically-unique or economically biased.

 

Then again, she's 10, and I don't have a 10 year old, so maybe I'm being too logical and critical of the topic for someone of that age.

[mukluk]

Just " go with the flow" Mike. It will fizzle out in the long run.

[spincast]

Mike I seem to remember a story not so long ago about how you earned the name solo paddler. Strikes me the apple has not fallen too far from the tree? I think you resist at your risk, and engage and discuss to your benefit. Good luck.

[Canuck2fan]

 

Why's that?

 

 

Well see that's the thing, she's still only 10.

 

Well not for nothing but I have worked with about 1000 teenragers over the years and I have to say only maybe 10 not 10% of them would even have a clue about how to cook one meal during the ages of 14 to 18. So if she has been planning, shopping for and cooking her meals for more than week. She is mature enough to form her own thoughts, and keep them. Just tell her you love her and respect her opinion and her right to have it, but don't agree with it. If that the extent of the rebellion count your blessings.

[chris.brock]

 

So is it you that's the teacher Chris or your partner? You seem to stand up for them at every opportunity. Mike got what I was getting at.... all that matters in my books.

 

Someone has influenced this child, at 10 years of age, to go this way in her thoughts.... but like everyone else (including myself) has stated Mike has got to let it play out (while he hide's in the corner).

 

 

yes, it's my partner Steven (Steven and Chris), he teaches Art and Music.

 

I don't think there's influence, it's a strong young girl who says and does what she feels out of her passion on the topic.

Edited March 4, 2015 by chris.brock

[Terry]

I will bet it was a teacher

[crappieperchhunter]

My daughter was a pill for a few years. Like Joey suggested saying no just seemed to make her more determined to make her parents crazy As a teen she started hanging with a guy who was gay. Good kid we had known him since he was little. We had no problem with it. I kinda liked it actually cause I knew he wouldn't be trying any "funny stuff" with her. Well one day she came home late and I was sitting here at the computer. Said she had something to tell me. Said she thought she liked girls. I turned to look at her and I saw that confrontational look on her face. My face was level with her waist and I just hugged her around the waist with my face on her hip and told her I didn't understand but if she was happy I was happy and everything would work out. I can honestly say our relationship got better from that day forward.

 

As for her gay guy friend. When he finally got up the nerve to tell his folks. Mom was fine. Dad was a whole other story. The father being a stubborn jerk split the whole family apart. They eventually divorced and the son moved out west and fell off the face of the earth.

 

It scares me to think what might have happened in my own family if I had been a jerk about my daughters news.

 

Tread lightly Mike. If you raise them right everything will work out.

Edited March 4, 2015 by crappieperchhunter

[Fisherman]

Well, I'm on the other side of the fence. At 10, she may have a strong will however you are the parent. I don't want to sound like I'm bad mouthing your wife, however I strongly believe you have to get her on your side. Children of which your daughter still is, have a wicked capability of hedging one parent against the other and won't stop until they get the desired result. My wife didn't have a disciplinary bone in her and the boys knew that. Dad can I...No! Then it was Mom can I until I nipped that in the bud. It took a bit, but both turned out about as good as any proud parent could want. I wish you more than luck, hope you have a thick hide.

[Moosebunk]

So which one of her new friends is a vegetarian... or which teacher has swayed her this way with propaganda?

 

By third sentence Mike I thought this exact thing too...

 

 

The oldest here nearing 16 wants to sway from meat (just red for now) as well, although she's a little too lazy to want to cook foods for herself to replace the meals we make. So she eats ours but, a lot of the better well cooked meals we do get to sit and enjoy as a family at home, Brenda and I are pretty well reminded during those dinners by her that she "doesn't like this or that." An example, last nights Sheppards Pie was "disgusting, but I'm hungry enough to eat it." We say something like that to our parents when we were raised and my dad's easiest response might have been, "you're cruising for a bruising." But like Raf has said, correcting/scolding/threatening her at the dinner table or otherwise, does nothing but make mealtime a worse experience in the end, or push her away. Girls are delicate creatures and constantly bogglin' the mind, regular open and caring communication is about the best we can hope to provide.

 

Yet your daughter is 10 man! Like you said it. And she may be a brilliant little 10 (I have one of those too) but you are the boss (or one of) in the household and the more intelligent adult. I hear what guys are saying and agree about letting her do her speech and make her choices but, that aside I think in this case you still need to intervene somehow with this situation. The overall picture as you clearly feel, is both a little defiant and disrespectful unto you. And, if it's bothering you to this point, and she's still so young and having her choices granted already upsets your family balance, it's not gonna get easier when she's a teenager who feels more and more like she's entitled to take charge of EVERYTHING. I to admire how strong willed you say she is, but that said, you at the very least, need to take her aside and have a very meaningful and thought-out talk with her about all of this.

 

Though... and another thought... even if your answer was still to be a flat out "NO," that could be acceptable. You probably understand already that the strongest willed people of this day and age, are actually those who can handle and accept hearing that word from time to time. Where that ability begins for most, is in childhood. So really, giving in to her or saying no is a personal choice here, neither is right or wrong, both will have positive outcomes one way or another, you must communicate with her lovingly and as effectively you can, your reasons, and remember that you are the adult, she is the child, you will have final say.

 

Good luck.

[leaf4]

Lol my dads response to someone not eating something or not finishing their plate was "I'll call 1-800 el Salvador and get a kid over here who will appreciate the food we put on the table"

[bigugli]

It's a tough spot to be in Mike. You want your children to be able to make their own decisions on life, but you want them to make those decision based on reasoned argument, not propaganda. Sadly children are easy to sway with emotional arguments. And someone has stuck their hand in there real good.

It's a real tough one for you for a couple of different reasons. Your daughter is going to speak on the evils of hunting, and you write for the "enemy". You are being "outed" as it were, by your daughter.

Any fight with your wife regarding your daughter's best interests is a forlorn hope. Even if you are right, you are damned for eternity for interfering. Been there done that. Better set up the camp bed out in the man cave or garage.

Edited March 4, 2015 by bigugli

[Big Cliff]

First, you never stop being a parent, you are stuck with that for life. When do you impose your will? When it is apparent that what they are doing could cause harm to them or someone else.

 

I would allow her to give her speach on the condition that she is willing to make sure she has all the facts. Sit down with her and explain how hunting controls populations so that populations don't exceed the available foodin a given area. Or how over populations can breed disease which could wipe out the entire population of a species and anything that relies on that particular animal for it's sustenance.

 

Explain how hunters today go out of their way to insure that game is killed quickly and humanily and that the money they do spend for licenses goes to enhansing the survival of many species. Well, you know the drill, you might not change her mind but you can leave her with something to think about.

 

Most important just be proud that she is willing to take a stand for something she believes in.

 

Edited: "missed the trophey hunting post LOL"

Edited March 4, 2015 by Big Cliff

[solopaddler]

Some well thought out and heart felt responses guys, thanks! That's what I love about this board.

[porkpie]

I'm too far into the blood sports for this to fly at my house, but I have 3 boys, so far its not been an issue. The oldest hunts with me, the middle one fishes with me constantly and is just chomping at the bit until he is old enough to get his apprenticeship card to hunt, and the little one is to small to hoist rod or gun as yet, but I'm sure his brothers will lead him down the right path. I don't envy you, I don't know what I'd do in that situation.