Steelheadphycho Posted February 21, 2015 Report Posted February 21, 2015 Here I sit, thanks to a good gin buzz, contemplating. What have I gotten myself into?!? My wife gave birth to a healthy boy on 2/10 and we are in the midst of packing up our little house to move. We have to be out by 3/6 and we won't close on the new house till 3/20. SO in the mean time, I hav to put everything in storage and live with my mother in law. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother in law, but I want to love her in the future. My wife is sure she will be butting heads with her. In the mean time, Back in September, I started my own little machine shop in my garage. Just a lathe and a drill press and some small machines. Nothing big BUT my 1 1/2 month "break" is not making my customers happy. I could set my stuff up in my brother or dads garage but why? I'll be back at it when I get moved in on April 1st. It's a side job. My day job pays the bills so I don't really need it. It's just extra. Then there's my teenager........ This fine young man can't talk without attitude. So when we ask him to give us a hand with packing, it's like we asked him to smash his xbox for us. ........ I'm doing the best I can to take it one day at a time but every once in a while I just want to lose my mind........ I haven't even gotten out on the ice yet!!!!!!!! Take a deep breath and think forward to when it's over..... How do you guys legally deal with stress?
GbayGiant Posted February 21, 2015 Report Posted February 21, 2015 (edited) Look at it this way. At least, you can! Many cannot! Hope that helps. ps. the gin doesn't help. Edited February 21, 2015 by GbayGiant
Big Cliff Posted February 21, 2015 Report Posted February 21, 2015 Well, I take a deep breath (right after I have downed a scotch rocks) (just kidding about the scotch rocks LOL). First of all congratulations on a couple of things, the new addition to the family; the starting of your own business; and moving on up in the world. Most of us started off much like you are, small but willing. You are going to make mistakes, LEARN from them don't let them get you down. Just remember that every day is the first day of the rest of your life. You are going to loose customers from time to time no matter what you do, you will never be able to please everyone! Try to understand their positions too though, if they have gone out of their way to give you a chance and your attitude is "well, I have my own problems so.....". You just made your problems theirs! Keep in mind that the people you build relationships with today are going to be your friends tomorrow. Treat them as you would want them to treat you and you will be fine!
Joey Posted February 21, 2015 Report Posted February 21, 2015 You just have to take it day by day bud. I was just layed off from my job of 20 years and am in the process of finding a new one. But for the fact my old job gave me a generous severance package, I might be having a gin too It all works out in the end. Try moving from Calgary back to Toronto with only the clothes on your back and an 8 year old child, by yourself, to live with your mom and grandmother. I landed the job of 20 years after that
aplumma Posted February 21, 2015 Report Posted February 21, 2015 The best advise is to remember it takes two to argue and since it is their house go with the flow. The time frame is not that long you should be able to weather it fine. Send a note to all of the customers and give them a firm timeline and explain what is going on the good ones will understand the others you do not need. Just remind your son that it he can't help you when you need it then you might not be able to help him in the future. Like rides to the store, the xbox game he has to have etc, Alcohol rarely makes things better use it to relax and not to escape it is a slippery slop that allow words to be spoken that can not be taken back. Best wishes Art
grizzlybri Posted February 21, 2015 Report Posted February 21, 2015 How do you guys legally deal with stress? take time to enjoy the little things, that you or other may take for-granted. I'm sure many of us will say go fishing, but that only a brief escape. I find the best thing is to talk about it, because there will always be a support staff their for you, either from home, work, friends, our ofc community. The best thing is to keep it off your chest because tryst me and I speak from experience, you do not want your stress to build to potential depression level. There wi;; a;ways be someone to lend a ear
ketchenany Posted February 21, 2015 Report Posted February 21, 2015 Art x 2 I have brought up four daughters, Never a problem, they got what we gave them and never asked for more. Today all married and great families on their own. I tought them not with words, but from example. If they wanted to cause a problem, they resized soon enought that it wasn't me that had to change. My mon inherited two daughter in laws, from day one there was never a problem, it lasted 38 years. Cliff that stuff, I've never tasted, must taste bad
solopaddler Posted February 21, 2015 Report Posted February 21, 2015 Congrat's on the new baby! As far as the other stuff goes you'll get through it, it's only short term.
ketchenany Posted February 21, 2015 Report Posted February 21, 2015 Art x 2 My mon inherited two daughter in laws, from day one there was never a problem, it lasted 38 years. Just to make it clear, she had two daughter in laws, my wife and my brother's wife. She passed in 2010. communication is what it's all about. talk it over and work it out.
Canuck2fan Posted February 22, 2015 Report Posted February 22, 2015 (edited) I have a simple but effective way to deal with customers during a shutdown.... In the letter mentioning the time frame tell them, they will get a bonus perk after you complete their first order. The bonus perk is that you will give them 10% off or a dollar amount voucher for their SECOND order. The trick is ONLY do that AFTER they place their SECOND order, after you restart operations.. That shows them you are acknowledging a slight inconvenience for them, but are expecting to resume normal operations. To get orders though you aren't just going to give away your time just to get them back for a one off order. You do however want to establish a long term relationship with them as a client. Hopefully, by the second order they won't even remember you were gone. As for the teen who doesn't want to help without tude, just ask him once what you want him to do, if he doesn't hop to it. Just, say fine you had your chance, then take and sell one of his games, skates whatever he cares about most on kijiji. The important thing is don't get upset, don't beg, don't bargain just do it. By game 5 he will have moved out or smartened up. BTW I don't have kids so not even my best friends have the courage to follow my advice along these lines, although after a gin they all have admitted they wish they had the courage to do something like that just once...LOL. Edited February 22, 2015 by Canuck2fan
Sinker Posted February 22, 2015 Report Posted February 22, 2015 All your power with the teen is in that game box/phone. Take it away sometime and see how eager he is to work. I take my sons iphone and he will do anything. Kinda like hanging a steak in front of a dog lol. Keep your chin up man. Hard times make the good times all the better. You'll be ok! S.
lookinforwalleye Posted February 22, 2015 Report Posted February 22, 2015 You want to talk stress...I can think of more than a few here that wish they had your problems....just wait till your wife finds another and walks out and you lose the job you've had for over 30 years and a child has to all of a sudden battle a serious illness that is threatening their life....and of course I hope none of the above happens to you. Many here have experienced and are experiencing worse than me and certainly your issues. Pass the bottle!
Steelheadphycho Posted February 22, 2015 Author Report Posted February 22, 2015 You want to talk stress...I can think of more than a few here that wish they had your problems....just wait till your wife finds another and walks out and you lose the job you've had for over 30 years and a child has to all of a sudden battle a serious illness that is threatening their life....and of course I hope none of the above happens to you. Many here have experienced and are experiencing worse than me and certainly your issues. Pass the bottle! Indeed I'd take 10 times what I have over some of the problems that fellow community members face. Some of the strongest people that I've ever heard of are members of this community. I truly don't know how those people cope. But they do. And that is inspirational in its self. I am truly appreciative of everyone's comments. Thank you everyone. I may not contribute much to these forums, but hardly a day goes by that I don't check them. I'm a proud American, but a part of my heart is Canadian thanks to all of you. May OFC live forever!
Pikeslayer Posted February 22, 2015 Report Posted February 22, 2015 I am an advocate for professional counselling. It has served me well during a number of family tragedies over the past five years. Overwhelming cicumstances can be managed and coping strategies learned today will stay with you for many years to come. Make an investment in your future. Be well, Slayer
lew Posted February 22, 2015 Report Posted February 22, 2015 I am an advocate for professional counselling. A very dear friend of ours for the past 40 years died suddenly a couple months ago at only 58 and her husband, also a good bud, naturally took it extremely hard and was having a terrible time coping with it. He went through a local church and found some counselling and he says it's really helped him in a big way.
bigugli Posted February 23, 2015 Report Posted February 23, 2015 One day at a time. One step at a time if need be. It's easier said than done, I know. Somedays life is just wonderful and other days it sucks. I just refuse to dwell on the bad parts. As my Gram used to say. Staunch Lutheran lady that she was. " The good Lord never meant for life to be easy, else He would never have torn down the garden. You just have to make the best with what you've got and just be thankful it isn't any worse."
Headhunter Posted February 23, 2015 Report Posted February 23, 2015 (edited) I can't help you relieve all the stress, but this may help to alleviate some... Go to home Depot and rent their portable storage "Pods". They will drop them where ever you want, you load everything into them and they store them, until you are ready. They will deliver them the day you need them, right to your door. It make loading into your new place just that much easier... less stress! HH Edited February 23, 2015 by Headhunter
NAW Posted February 23, 2015 Report Posted February 23, 2015 well. I can tell you that if you let the stress eat you up like I did, you'll be in trouble I am sending this from a waiting room aroom at Mt Siana Hospital. Like others have said. Breathe. Think before you act, and get advice from others who have lived and learner from similar experiences. Oh, and don't forget to do things that make you happy! Exercise is amazing for stress ad well!
Ronzo Posted February 23, 2015 Report Posted February 23, 2015 I am an advocate for professional counselling. It has served me well during a number of family tragedies over the past five years. Overwhelming cicumstances can be managed and coping strategies learned today will stay with you for many years to come. Make an investment in your future. Be well, Slayer I second this. I had trouble dealing with stress, found a counsellor who was awesome about three years ago, and am way ahead thanks to it. Not only learning coping skills, but learning about yourself in general. I've never made a better investment. I have one youngster, one more on the way, my own tech business, a stressful move last August, and wouldn't have made it through without having my counselling to fall back on. Hmmm, didn't have to live with the mother-in-law, though. Good luck! Congrats on everything you've accomplished so far. You should be really proud!
chris.brock Posted February 23, 2015 Report Posted February 23, 2015 Drinking is great, but it's temporary. I'm not a health nut at all, but vigorous exercise can do wonders. Go to the soccer field, run until your heart is pounding out of your chest, walk a bit, run again, etc for a half hour or more.
leaf4 Posted February 23, 2015 Report Posted February 23, 2015 Drinking is great, but it's temporary. I'm not a health nut at all, but vigorous exercise can do wonders. Go to the soccer field, run until your heart is pounding out of your chest, walk a bit, run again, etc for a half hour or more. Does wonders join a gym if you can, you start setting different goals personally and when you reach them it helps in a very positive way watching your progress
bigugli Posted February 23, 2015 Report Posted February 23, 2015 The busier you can keep yourself, the less you will focus and dwell on those things/problems that are causing stress. This winter I have had to stay close to home due to family health issues, budget, etc... That means sitting around the house. With stress that can be poison. I do whatever I can to sty occupied/busy. Last night that meant going for a walk despite the cold. Other times it's reading a book, hobby, researching fishing trips, household projects. Just find a diversion that occupies your mind and allows you to focus on other things.
irishfield Posted February 24, 2015 Report Posted February 24, 2015 Sorry to hear you're hanging out at Sinai Nick... if there for any length of time the food court in TGH is the best across the street. The Villiage Idiot on the corner of McCaul and Dundas for a good meal and beer. I'll be there tomorrow... Sinai that is.
Steelheadphycho Posted February 24, 2015 Author Report Posted February 24, 2015 Since the wife had our son, she is excited to get back into walking and exercise. Me too. We both can't wait to get back to our "before pregnancy" weight. One of the many nice things about the new house is its about 1/4 mile from the Ohio and Erie canal tow path. My oldest son and I have logged hundreds of miles on it. It'll be real nice to just hop on the bike and ride to it instead of packing the bikes up to go there. I too am a firm believer in therapy and professional counseling. My wife lost a sister to non Hodgkin's lymphoma in 2004. She started seeing a counselor then that we still talk to today. I believe that this woman has made it possible for me to see things in so many different ways. I'm a better husband and boss because of it. Getting a "pod" is exactly what I'm going to do. Some of the small things were packing up and putting in my two brothers basements then all the bigger furniture will go I the pod to be stored till we need it. It's a little expensive, but only packing and unpacking once makes it worth every penny.
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