Cherish your children

[lew]

I guess everyones been following the very sad story of the 2 little babies who are both fighting for their lives right now in Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto. One is only 2 months old and has a major brain disorder that will probably take her life in the near future and even if it doesn't, she'll have to undergo a kidney transplant in a couple years. She's gone home for now but will probably be back in Sick Kids soon.

 

The other baby is only 1 month old and will also die shortly if she doesn't receive a heart transplant. She's at the top of the transplant list and is basically waiting for baby #1 to pass away in order to live herself.

 

I've been following this sad tale closely from the start and have tears in my eyes everytime I watch the up-dates.

 

Like a few other OFNers, I've lost a child, plus my daughter survived a terrible car crash a few years ago when she was T-boned by a truck.

 

I'm not really going anywhere with this, but if you've got children, please enjoy every moment you have with them and cherish every second they are with you because you never know when something tragic will happen.

 

Give your kids an extra little hug when you put them to bed tonight.

 

Hopefully I'm not outta line here, I'm just kinda thinking out loud.

[Flappn]

Very well said. I plan on giving the little rug rat a big hug and kiss tonight.

[Gerritt]

You are definatly not out of line Lew.. I too have been following this.. and I too have been brought to tears more then once...

 

as a parent that has also lost a child I really feel for the parents in all of this making the decisions that need to be made.. as heart wrenching as they may be...

 

I remember when my son passed I was told something that sticks with me even today....

 

"God takes the good ones because he wants them by his side..."

 

All children are gifts and should never be taken for granted.

 

Thanks for the reminder Lew....

 

G

[Headhunter]

I've gotten to the point that I simply can't watch it any more, I won't let my mind follow the logical step of putting me and my kids in these parent's situation. My kids have been wondering why Dad has become such a softy this week... God bless all involved.

HH

[danbouck]

I don't know much about this story simply because I can't watch stories like that. I've got a 3 year old and an 8 month old at home. I make it a point to do everything with my kids and spend every moment I can with them.

[OhioFisherman]

Lew my friend, not out of line at all, still think of your families loss. Came close myself once, a hard thing to deal with. Might not always agree with my kids, but still my kids, sure my parents weren`t down with some of my deals.

[crappieperchhunter]

Yeah that news got me thinking about mine as well. I guess that's what motivated me to invite my daughter and grandson over for lunch yesterday. Made her my lasagna....she thinks it's the best in the world... along with a few other things she likes and had a nice visit before I went into work at 3.

 

Didn't want her to think the old man was getting all soft and mushy in his old age though, so I kicked her behind in a couple games of cribbage while Lucas was having a nap.

 

Enjoy all your family and friends. What's more important then that?

[Davis Battah]

This very story has been a very hard one for my wife and I to follow over the last week.

 

We know all to well what these families are going through. Some of you may remember that I had posted what seams like an eternity ago that my 15 month old son Connor that was born with a severe heart defect was going to require open heart surgery at 15 months old at Sick Kids Hospital to save his life. Well he barely survived that surgery but made it through. He brightened our lives so much. He got sick often having to battle through complications like re occurring pneumonia and infections. When he wasn't "sick" he was the happiest baby boy I have ever met. I have 3 other sons.

 

On June 26th of last year (2008) while I was out doing a charter, I got a frantic phone call from my wife. She was impossible to understand but from the panic in her voice alone, I immediately knew what she was trying to tell me, and I rushed off of the water. It was the longest drive of my life. Our son Connor was at home and suddenly went into cardiac arrest while playing in front of her. They pronounced him just as I ran into the ICU at the hospital. The last time I saw my baby boy alive was the night before when I rocked him to sleep. It's still really hard to talk about, this past week has drummed up a lot of memories of that hospital and of a very familiar situation.

 

Connor was only 2 and a half years old. I'd give anything to be able to have even 5 more minutes with him...... anything....

 

 

Like Lew said... cherish your children..........

 

Davis.

[Gerry]

I've been following that story also, Lew. It brought back memories for me too when in 1994 my wife received a call from her sister in Timmins that her granddaughter was on route via air ambulance from Timmins to Sick Childrens. The 1 year old grandaughter was unconscious and there was no room for the mother or any other adult on the flight and we were the closest to Toronto. When we arrived the wee thing was clad in only a diaper, on a ventilator, in a coma, and her brain was dying. The doctors didn't know what was going on and they were doing all sorts of tests. She looked identical to my own daughter at that age (who was then 10 yrs old) and it crushed me. The grandaughter died 3 days later after a heart wrenching ordeal in assisting the parents with the decision to donate the organs. That day changed me.

[Handlebarz]

Lew I have also been sitting watching the story or listing to the father on the radio yesterday and had a hard time to keep my eyes dry when he was talking about his little girl this is a very sad story and I would not want to ever have to make that choice they have done.

[Rich Clemens]

We all hear you Lew. We kinda had an eye opening this week ourselves. Not more than 15 miles from my house, some guy went berzerk during a robbery of a Subway shop. Shot the one worker dead the moment he opened the back door. The guy walked into the business and shot another teller (she will survive). Took the money and walked down the road a bit and shot dead another guy who just stepped out to get his mail.

 

Shaken ...... you bet. My own daughter works in a Subway right here in town and personally knew the two Subway workers at that other store. You just never know. Like Lew says ... don't take even one minute for granted with your kids. And all of those for whom you care so much for.

Edited April 9, 2009 by Rich Clemens

[Guest gbfisher]

Every Moment of Every Day Lew.

 

 

 

...well except when they act like me that is....

[RuNnYoOzE]

don't forget to take your kids fishing! I remember my uncle always taking me fishing and it had an impact on our relationships...Dad never took me fishing ,neither my brothers went with me. The point is spending quality time with your young 1's No matter how awkward or clumsy they may be, the rewards will last a lifetime. I know some kids think the worm is icky but when they land their first fish the whole experience will come into a new light.....Did I mention fishing is the cure for everything...depression , alcoholism, gambling addiction , drug addiction ...lol I know some may agree it fuels these addiction also ...but seriously Forget the shrink go fishing with some good friends and or your kids and reap the rewards!

Edited April 9, 2009 by fishinFanatic69

[solopaddler]

This very story has been a very hard one for my wife and I to follow over the last week.

 

We know all to well what these families are going through. Some of you may remember that I had posted what seams like an eternity ago that my 15 month old son Connor that was born with a severe heart defect was going to require open heart surgery at 15 months old at Sick Kids Hospital to save his life. Well he barely survived that surgery but made it through. He brightened our lives so much. He got sick often having to battle through complications like re occurring pneumonia and infections. When he wasn't "sick" he was the happiest baby boy I have ever met. I have 3 other sons.

 

On June 26th of last year (2008) while I was out doing a charter, I got a frantic phone call from my wife. She was impossible to understand but from the panic in her voice alone, I immediately knew what she was trying to tell me, and I rushed off of the water. It was the longest drive of my life. Our son Connor was at home and suddenly went into cardiac arrest while playing in front of her. They pronounced him just as I ran into the ICU at the hospital. The last time I saw my baby boy alive was the night before when I rocked him to sleep. It's still really hard to talk about, this past week has drummed up a lot of memories of that hospital and of a very familiar situation.

 

Connor was only 2 and a half years old. I'd give anything to be able to have even 5 more minutes with him...... anything....

 

 

Like Lew said... cherish your children..........

 

Davis.

 

Davis I can't even begin to fathom what you've endured. Your strength is an inspiration.

 

Same go's for Lew and Gerritt.

 

Lew you weren't out of line at all, thanks for the reminder.

[Pigeontroller]

Lew, You're never out of line when reminding us how lucky we are our kid(s) are healthy and still with us.

 

Gerritt and Davis...Can't imagine...

 

Davis, I had heard about you losing Connor, I wanted to send you an email or call, but I didn't even know what to say...

[Cookslav]

I've gotten to the point that I simply can't watch it any more, I won't let my mind follow the logical step of putting me and my kids in these parent's situation. My kids have been wondering why Dad has become such a softy this week... God bless all involved.

 

Man I can't either...

It makes me so sad to even begin that thought proccess that I have to stop myself in mid thought.

 

Gerrit, and David I have no words...

[Crazyhook]

Amen Lew!! well said

[mistyriver1]

Not out of line at all Lew.

 

My boys and I have spent countless hours on the water and I love every minute of it. Fishing was my Dad's and I's bond and now I get to share it with my sons. I never take it for granted.

[motion]

I cant begin to tell you guys how much I enjoy spending time with my kids. I thank God every day for giving me three healthy beautiful children. They are my reason for living. My youngest is my best fishing buddy. I cant begin to imagine the feeling those of you have felt in loosing a child.

[bigugli]

Lew, you are not out of line. Like others I have had many scares, and still do, with my daughter.

 

Every terminally ill child I meet turns me inside out, emotionally

 

For those who have lost their little one's. I know that feeling where your heart is sitting at the back of your throat and ready to burst. We try to deal with it one day at a time here and be thankful for the good days. There are many sleepless nights and days where I am scared s---less.

 

I have one fully grown son who is healthy. He may think we take him for granted some times because so much attention is focused on his sister. We are just so thankful he is healthy.

 

Sorry for the self-indulgence. Been another rough week with the daughter.

[snag]

fishing seems............................

Edited April 10, 2009 by SNAG

[Big Cliff]

So often I have heard or read the words "I'd give anything to spend just one more.......... with". By then it is too late and nothing you could give will make it happen. Now is the time to spend that one more minute/hour/day. Now, while you still can, not just with your kids but with your parents, friends, loved ones. Remember the difference between life and death is a single heartbeat.

[Joey]

The whole situation is heart wrenching Lew.

 

I know of your loss Lew and yours aswell Gerritt, but I was unaware of your loss Davis. It was devastating to read let alone live through. My heart goes out to all of you. I can't even imagine!

 

Joey

Edited April 10, 2009 by Joey

[Davis Battah]

So often I have heard or read the words "I'd give anything to spend just one more.......... with". By then it is too late and nothing you could give will make it happen. Now is the time to spend that one more minute/hour/day. Now, while you still can, not just with your kids but with your parents, friends, loved ones. Remember the difference between life and death is a single heartbeat.

 

You'll always wish for "one more minute"... You're right we have to make the most of our time with our loved ones... I did and continue too, especially with my children. But no amount of time is ever enough, especially when it comes to losing your young child. You rock your child to sleep, you go to work at 5 in the morning and you never see him alive again... it was that tragic, that simple. I don't regret from the standpoint that I didn't spend every available minute possible with him, I just wish that there were more minutes to spend. Wishing for just 5 more minutes is just how much I miss him... or even so I could have said goodbye. I'm trying to reach the point where I am able to just cherish the moments we did have instead of wishing there where more. Not sure if that time will ever come, but I hope so...

 

I hope I haven't hijacked this thread. It was just a topic so close to home and this is the first time I have really been able to talk publicly about Connor passing away...

 

Thanks for listening and to all of those who took the time to read a small part of Connor's big story.

[JohnF]

You'll always wish for "one more minute"... You're right we have to make the most of our time with our loved ones... I did and continue too, especially with my children. But no amount of time is ever enough, especially when it comes to losing your young child. You rock your child to sleep, you go to work at 5 in the morning and you never see him alive again... it was that tragic, that simple. I don't regret from the standpoint that I didn't spend every available minute possible with him, I just wish that there were more minutes to spend. Wishing for just 5 more minutes is just how much I miss him... or even so I could have said goodbye. I'm trying to reach the point where I am able to just cherish the moments we did have instead of wishing there where more. Not sure if that time will ever come, but I hope so...

 

I hope I haven't hijacked this thread. It was just a topic so close to home and this is the first time I have really been able to talk publicly about Connor passing away...

 

Thanks for listening and to all of those who took the time to read a small part of Connor's big story.

 

I was going to stay out of this one but .. well, ya know how it is. I'm convinced that talking about losing our son was a catharsis for me. If I felt that the people I was talking to were uncomfortable I'd back off, but if they were okay with it (and many were) then I'd talk. I didn't get all mopey and emotional when I talked, just treated it matter of factly.

 

I don't expect to ever get over it but I find that I can now talk about him reasonably comfortably. There are lots of sad moments but I keep those to myself. Your friends know you're hurting and they expect it, but they generally have no idea how to deal with us losing control in their presence so I expect it would just alienate them. When we first lost our son I noticed that people were deliberately avoiding mel I suppose to escape the need to find the right things to say or to have to witness my grieving. Quickly I learned to open conversations by saying straight out something like "Don't worry. I've come to terms with this. I'm not going to have a meltdown here in front of you." Perhaps that sounds odd or callous but it actually seemed to put them at ease and even seemed to encourage them to ask questions. As I said I think it was and probably still is cathartic for me to actually talk about Steve.

 

But that's just what worked for me. Each of us has to handle our grief in whatever way works for us.

 

All the best

JF