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Thanks Spiel and OFN - Chris Lindner


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It still feels like a nightmare, even though this has gone on for 5 1/2 years I was still not prepared. We had the funeral for the little guy yesterday. I pray none of you ever have to go through that.

 

I have not been able to be round much the last couple of years but I just wanted to take the time to thank OFC especialy Spiel for going way above and beyond to make Chris's last couple of years as memerable as possible. Thank you for the beautiful flowers. We were inundated with kind thoughts, prayers, fishing tackle, rods and many, many offers of to take the kids fishing. More offers then we could ever hope to be able to take advantage of.

 

I just wanted to thank everyone for everything you have done for my family and myself. I can never begin to tell you how much it meant to us. These were some of our most treasured memories. I would like to say more but it is just too raw right now.

 

God Bless all of you and God Bless Chris.

 

Rob

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I can't even imagine what you must be going through right now Rob, so I won't even try.

 

All I can say is Chris has been on my mind since his tragic passing and I feel he is now an angel who God called upon for whatever reason.

 

Please know my thoughts are with you and your family at this tragic time.

 

Joey

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In tears I saw you sinking,

I watched you fade away.

You suffered much in silence,

you fought so hard to stay.

You faced your task with courage.

Your spirit did not bend,

and still you kept on fighting until the very end.

God saw you getting tired.

When a cure was not to be.

So he put his arms around you and whispered "come to me".

So when I saw you sleeping So peaceful, free from pain.

I could not wish you back

to suffer that again.

 

Chris you will always be in our hearts

Edited by AILE GOBY
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It still feels like a nightmare, even though this has gone on for 5 1/2 years I was still not prepared. We had the funeral for the little guy yesterday. I pray none of you ever have to go through that.

 

I have not been able to be round much the last couple of years but I just wanted to take the time to thank OFC especialy Spiel for going way above and beyond to make Chris's last couple of years as memerable as possible. Thank you for the beautiful flowers. We were inundated with kind thoughts, prayers, fishing tackle, rods and many, many offers of to take the kids fishing. More offers then we could ever hope to be able to take advantage of.

 

I just wanted to thank everyone for everything you have done for my family and myself. I can never begin to tell you how much it meant to us. These were some of our most treasured memories. I would like to say more but it is just too raw right now.

 

God Bless all of you and God Bless Chris.

 

Rob

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Sorry about that. I started to write, and then changed my mind. Of course then I hit the wrong button. I realized that I don't know you at all, and it might seem intrusive to jump into the comforting and best wishes.

 

But since I'm in anyway, here goes. Here's how I had started out -

 

"Rob, I don't know you or your family, but I have an idea of what you've been through. Several of us here have had the painful experience and, though it probably affects each of us differently, it remains one of the worst hurts any man can suffer."

 

And then I would have gone on to say that it's easy to get caught up in the grief and the loss and let it throw a shadow over the rest of our lives. My wife and I stepped back after we lost our 18 year old son and agreed that he would never have wanted us to live in misery because of him, particularly when what happened to him was not in any way his fault.

 

In the early days after Steve died I would have conversations with him when I was driving alone in the car and no one could see me talking to myself. There was apparently some therapeutic value in those talks because I started feeling better with it all before long although the pain never completely went away. It just seemed to find a little private spot way down deep where it stayed with me without being overwhelming, something i actually even can now enjoy a little bit. To this day 14 years later I still get choked up thinking about him once in a while, and I doubt there's been a day in my life since he left that I don't think of him in some way. Harry Chapin's song always puts a lump in my throat.

 

What I'm saying is to not get too caught up in the grief, particularly if it's because you think it's expected of you. I actually had several folks tell me at the time that I seemed very cold, apparently because I didn't cry enough to suit them. I wasn't particularly polite to them when they said that. I got comfortable enough with the idea that Steve would never have wanted us to suffer because of him and if he would have wanted us to cope that way, then who else's opinion mattered more? So we've never tried to grieve to anyone else's expectations, just those we are sure would have been Steve's, and it's worked for us. I'll probably never live a day of my life that I don't think of him occasionally, and fondly, and sadly, and I hope that our way would have made him proud of us. His friends' weddings and graduations are the toughest these days. I never used to cry at weddings. 8)

 

Happy memories are always better than sad ones. Hopefully you'll soon be able to know what I mean.

 

Sorry if any of this seems out of line. It's offered with the very best of intentions.

 

All the best

 

JF

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Sorry about that. I started to write, and then changed my mind. Of course then I hit the wrong button. I realized that I don't know you at all, and it might seem intrusive to jump into the comforting and best wishes.

 

But since I'm in anyway, here goes. Here's how I had started out -

 

"Rob, I don't know you or your family, but I have an idea of what you've been through. Several of us here have had the painful experience and, though it probably affects each of us differently, it remains one of the worst hurts any man can suffer."

 

And then I would have gone on to say that it's easy to get caught up in the grief and the loss and let it throw a shadow over the rest of our lives. My wife and I stepped back after we lost our 18 year old son and agreed that he would never have wanted us to live in misery because of him, particularly when what happened to him was not in any way his fault.

 

In the early days after Steve died I would have conversations with him when I was driving alone in the car and no one could see me talking to myself. There was apparently some therapeutic value in those talks because I started feeling better with it all before long although the pain never completely went away. It just seemed to find a little private spot way down deep where it stayed with me without being overwhelming, something i actually even can now enjoy a little bit. To this day 14 years later I still get choked up thinking about him once in a while, and I doubt there's been a day in my life since he left that I don't think of him in some way. Harry Chapin's song always puts a lump in my throat.

 

What I'm saying is to not get too caught up in the grief, particularly if it's because you think it's expected of you. I actually had several folks tell me at the time that I seemed very cold, apparently because I didn't cry enough to suit them. I wasn't particularly polite to them when they said that. I got comfortable enough with the idea that Steve would never have wanted us to suffer because of him and if he would have wanted us to cope that way, then who else's opinion mattered more? So we've never tried to grieve to anyone else's expectations, just those we are sure would have been Steve's, and it's worked for us. I'll probably never live a day of my life that I don't think of him occasionally, and fondly, and sadly, and I hope that our way would have made him proud of us. His friends' weddings and graduations are the toughest these days. I never used to cry at weddings. 8)

 

Happy memories are always better than sad ones. Hopefully you'll soon be able to know what I mean.

 

Sorry if any of this seems out of line. It's offered with the very best of intentions.

 

All the best

 

JF

 

Not sure it could be put any better.

Well said John.

 

Rob ,stay strong,his memory, you will always have. The bad times,but more importantly,the great times.

 

God bless and he is always going to be there for/with you.

 

Brian

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Goodness, I don't know what to say, but feel compelled to write.

My eyes are filled with tears as I type and as my child lays upstairs.

My heart goes out to all who have lived through this sort of hardship, and I know from past readings that there are a few.

You become a different person that day you become a parent. You become a part of the greatest fraternity on earth. And when you loose a child that fraternity does not forget you, it embraces you.

Thanks to all for having the strength to post, and allowing us to embrace you and your family.

With deep sympathy and great admiration,

Jim

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