irishfield Posted August 20, 2015 Author Report Posted August 20, 2015 (edited) Thanks guys, working our way through the maze of lawyers, banks and bull with an end goal for a nice Celebration of Life on the 30th for Jennifer. Thanks to our younger daughter we have most of the picture boards done, the hall is booked and organized, caterer is booked (and a PITA). Bar is stocked, etc with Jen's favourite beverage available. A word of advise for all of you young or old. Find out what your banks policy is on death and no will. Luckily we had Jen add Leah as joint on all her accounts at the BnS a few years ago, as she was going through the paces against this disease. Unfortunately some wiz bang telemarketer convinced Jen to switch her main account, to gain 0.2%, to the latest greatest plan back in March (after 3 craniotomies and full head radiation). Leah's name didn't follow on the account. What should have been a simple housekeeping item last week became an appeal by our local bank branch manager against corporate headquarters. For the first time in her history as a bank employee (25 years) she saw them agree to pay all probate fees that will be caused by this mess. It could have easily gone the other way costing Jen's estate thousand of dollars. I guess the good thing is the BnScotia is only a 3 to 4 week affair. We asked at the Bank of Montreal what their corporate policy is and they lock all accounts for 364 days if there is no will!!! Consider a little old lady who's husband has all their money in an account at the BMO and he passes away. She instantly has no access to any funds to buy groceries or pay for his funeral unless she is smart enough to go in and withdraw or transfer ahead of anyone knowing he's gone. It was only 6 years ago that my Mother's accounts, that were joint with each of 4 kids, were easily just transferred to each of us on the spot, same day. As of 2 or 3 years ago the law changed and luckily the BnS is only 3 or 4 weeks... others like the BMO could be a year without funds for you or your family members. Edited August 20, 2015 by irishfield
SmokestackLightnin Posted August 20, 2015 Report Posted August 20, 2015 Even in dark days you are offering good advice, you're a very rare breed. Like many I followed your daughter's journey through this thread, she was a fighter and a true champion. I am deeply sorry for your loss. 1
Headhunter Posted August 30, 2015 Report Posted August 30, 2015 I just wanted to express my appreciation on behalf of myself and wife to the O'shea family for allowing us to join them in their celebration of Jen's life. You're truly a special family and it was obvious to anyone in attendance today, that Jen was a very special person. It was a pleasure to meet "Whopper" and Andy as well. (Whopper, I hope you made it home ok) Wayne and Leah, I hope you find peace soon. I know Jen was smiling down at you today. HH 1
grimsbylander Posted August 31, 2015 Report Posted August 31, 2015 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 I hope that soon you and your family can find comfort knowing Jen is in a place of peace. That kind of strength and love must be rewarded. Prayers to your family.
Dusky Posted August 31, 2015 Report Posted August 31, 2015 Sorry to hear that. Your daughter was inspiration to many. Though it's never easy, may the memories of her help you and family find peace.
Gnote Posted August 31, 2015 Report Posted August 31, 2015 Im terribly sorry for your loss wayne, my heart and thoughts go out to you and your family
fishnsled Posted August 31, 2015 Report Posted August 31, 2015 I just wanted to express my appreciation on behalf of myself and wife to the O'shea family for allowing us to join them in their celebration of Jen's life. You're truly a special family and it was obvious to anyone in attendance today, that Jen was a very special person. It was a pleasure to meet "Whopper" and Andy as well. (Whopper, I hope you made it home ok) Wayne and Leah, I hope you find peace soon. I know Jen was smiling down at you today. HH I couldn't say it any better Joe, what an incredible woman Jen was. Thanks for the lift Joe and it was a pleasure to meet Whopper and Andy, I hope you had an uneventful trip home Whopper. Peace be with your family Wayne, there is someone special keeping an eye on you all now. 1
GBW Posted August 31, 2015 Report Posted August 31, 2015 I just wanted to express my appreciation on behalf of myself and wife to the O'shea family for allowing us to join them in their celebration of Jen's life. You're truly a special family and it was obvious to anyone in attendance today, that Jen was a very special person. It was a pleasure to meet "Whopper" and Andy as well. (Whopper, I hope you made it home ok) Wayne and Leah, I hope you find peace soon. I know Jen was smiling down at you today. HH I wish I was able to make the trip but I got tied up with work. Now I regret missing it more reading Joe and Will's posts. Some day I'll make it up for a visit and have our own celebration of life...
Whopper Posted August 31, 2015 Report Posted August 31, 2015 When Wayne posted Jen's obit I had made my mind up instantly that I would make the trip up to pay my respects, to me it was a no brainer. I met and spent some time with Wayne about ten years ago and have been proud to call him my friend ever since. I, like many others here have followed Jen's journey since day one and am truly inspired. After attending yesterdays "Celebration of Life" I can see exactly where Jen got her strength/drive from. Even though Jen is no longer with us physically Wayne and Leah should be really proud to have raised a daughter that has given so much to so many. A couple other comments from yesterday, Wayne's son looks exactly like a younger version of Wayne, heard through the grapevine that a couple traveled farther than I did to be there, put some faces to some names that I had never met before, saw some people I've not seen in a long time and lastly, Wayne I hope the bar bill didn't sting you to bad, just be glad I wasn't drinking or it would have been worst and I would have ended up in your hanger Wayne and Leah, thanks so much for sharing Jen's journey with us 1
irishfield Posted August 31, 2015 Author Report Posted August 31, 2015 (edited) Thanks so much for sharing the day with us Joe, Teri, Will, Andy, Phil, Maureen, Paul and I hope I didn't miss speaking to anyone! Amazing the gravitational pull she had on some people, like Whopper, that travelled half way across the continent to be there... yet some family and people that we highly expected to be there couldn't travel 6 blocks to pay their respects. The couple that Phil (Whopper) mentions flew up to Buffalo from Witchita, Kansas and then rented a car to drive to town on Friday just to take us out for supper. They left home at 4 am and were in our house at 4pm. The closest they could get a room was Barrie and they returned again on Sunday for the C of L and then had to leave after about 1.5 hours into it to get back to Buffalo for their flight home. To quote Marc Thorpe, they were some of my "part time long distance pretend internet friends" from an airplane forum. We know that not everyone signed the guest book coming in, as Leah and I greeted every person that entered the room, but a quick tally shows 227 names in the book! Phil we went back to the MCC today to pay the bar tab (that the bartender told me was about $2400 when we left yesterday) only to find out it had been anonymously paid on our behalf this morning. Edited September 1, 2015 by irishfield
bassassin Posted September 1, 2015 Report Posted September 1, 2015 If I see you Wayne, on the water or any were else I'm going to give you a hug, i hope you don't mind? You and your wife are the measuring sticks of what parenting is and should be. I've read every friggin page of this thread and I'm torn up inside, I've shared your highs and lows and Jen always had her family by her side. I'm confident she knows that and will always have that wherever she is. I'm no author but think about putting this experience to paper it will help a ton of people going through the same thing. Walking through this journey with you via this platform (Ofc)has made me a better parent using you as a model and I thank you and your beautiful family for that! I'm not a religious man but I'm not so ignorant as to not recognise this life isn't the be all and end all,you stuck by her side and you best believe she will return the favour! Fitting you're a pilot my friend.... Chin up you are better than most!!! 1
irishfield Posted September 1, 2015 Author Report Posted September 1, 2015 Thanks Bassassin.... none of this was in the "parent's handbook", you just have to make it up as you go along. This sharing thing just started out as a way to keep me sane, but it certainly started a movement. Thanks to everyone for putting up with me for 5 years. Here's the guest of honour from yesterday.
Rich Clemens Posted September 1, 2015 Report Posted September 1, 2015 Sorry we could not be there folks, but we were there in spirit. Goes to show the impact Jen had on so many people. What a blessing
OhioFisherman Posted September 1, 2015 Report Posted September 1, 2015 Wayne, condolences, don't know how I missed this., I can't even imagine.
limeyangler Posted September 2, 2015 Report Posted September 2, 2015 So sorry for your loss Wayne, speechless and teary eyed……what an amazing girl that kid of yours.
Joey Posted September 2, 2015 Report Posted September 2, 2015 Thought about you all day hun. Sorry we couldn't make it. Got some stuff going on at home I'm dealing with. I had plans to come but it just didn't happen. I was there in spirit aswell.
irishfield Posted September 2, 2015 Author Report Posted September 2, 2015 I got to hug at least 100 wimmin on Sunday Joey... one more would have been GREAT but I know what you're dealing with at home. Don't you worry.. I know you were "there".
SHAD Posted September 2, 2015 Report Posted September 2, 2015 Stay strong Wayne, the memories will last forever. You`ll see her in your dreams and talk again and smile together one day.
irishfield Posted March 12, 2016 Author Report Posted March 12, 2016 Thanks again folks. What would have been Jen's 31st Birthday was on Feb 27th and we continue to move forward here at home the best we can, reflecting back on what we did right and what we may have done wrong. Considering everything we've seen around us the past 5+ years, when dealing with Ewing's, we're pretty settled to say we got it pretty much right and nothing else we may have done would have changed the outcome and we, over time, can hopefully live with that. That said it doesn't help us sleep at night and Leah is still at a loss looking for that letter Jen told her that she wrote to her, but we continue to get up each day and carry on the best we can. In a few days time I will ask Roy or Art to lock this thread down, so it can drift off into history with the memories it holds... but not before I print and save it in it's entirety!
pics Posted March 12, 2016 Report Posted March 12, 2016 She was an inspiration..I recently watched an ad for sick kids that she is in..
grimsbylander Posted March 12, 2016 Report Posted March 12, 2016 You and your wife have gone down a path that any other parent would dread and, you've done it with class and dignity. The example you've set for class under pressure should be one we all aspire to. It also creates a true perspective of what is, and is not, worth worrying about. Thank you for sharing with us and I wish you and Leah peace and happiness.
irishfield Posted March 12, 2016 Author Report Posted March 12, 2016 Sick kids or Crohns and Colitis? We were asked if she could remain in their advertising. Here's the lads and I toasting with her favorite drink on Saturday night (27th) at the lake.
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