fishing n autograph Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 Hey Guys, I know there are a lot of fathers on the board, i'm just wondering if your wives have ever gone through this and if so how, as a husband did you deal with this????? Any advise would be great... thanks guys, Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bramptonjerry Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 keep your head down and your mouth shut...if it goes on too long you or even better still maybe one of her friends can convince her to talk to a doctor...until then spend as much time as possible cleaning out the garage,basement,shed etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinman Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 i spent alot of time working in the basement or taking the kids out, Cathy slept alot, cried alot and i just tried to be there for her when it was needed. Lots of trips to Dairy Queen helped too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishing n autograph Posted March 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 i spent alot of time working in the basement or taking the kids out, Cathy slept alot, cried alot and i just tried to be there for her when it was needed. Lots of trips to Dairy Queen helped too Was her PPD gradual or did she one day snap? My wife seemed to have just snapped, was cleaning the house late at night and then woke up and couldn't stop crying...funny thing is our daughter is now 9mths old....dr said this was common..but usually happens closer to the birth..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinman Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 My wife was like that right after birth, gradually getting worse. she`s emotional to start with but the ppd compounded it. She was changing Cole when she snapped, I just gave her her space and was there when needed. she sort of came out of it on her own. She was like that for both, apparently it was common in her family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gerritt Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 FnA... I went through the same thing with my second son.... believe me when I tell you... Patience is the key. Let her cry, let her complain... Listen and be there for her... Hug her, console her. My wife is still in counselling, for PPD and other past issues. Just be supportive. is all I can suggest G Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishing n autograph Posted March 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 thank god...i thought i was the only one......i'm sitting here wishing i had my wife back lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GBW Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 no, it happens to all of them but just a matter of how bad. My wife, wasn't as bad with the 2nd as she was the 1st. But her sister! WOW, talk about quick trip to crazy town with her 2nd! She needed to be watched and put on med's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarzan's Jane Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 It's not fair for anyone in the family. I had a mild case of it and what helped was getting the help with the baby and my own determination to not let "it" overtake me. Feelings I had were those of a deep deep sadness...it would suddenly hit me and it was an overwhelming sense of total despair. Very scary feeling. I had to do a lot of self-talk...and it did help to have some "me" time. Every woman is different and thankfully I was only mildly affected. I have known of some women who's family members had to look after the child for months. Perhpas let her read your thread here ... it helps to know that you are not alone and that other husbands have stuck it out ... but also, to seek medical advice if the PPD does not subside. Hopefully she will be able to determine that on her own otherwise you will need to gently bring it up, or other family members too can help with that. She needs to be kind to herself...it will go away. All the best to all of you. Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbuck Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 Try to let her have some time for herself, send her to a day spa so she can get all gussied up and to feel pretty again. Give her a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen to the rants and raves. Be patient. For you, try to get out and catch some fish whenever you get the chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
douG Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 Fresh air and sunshine are good things for all of us this time of year, especially those who are feeling a little sad. Make sure that the house is running itself (cooking and cleaning for example) and that she doesn't feel overwhelmed by that part of the day. Do it yourself, call in a family member, or send somebody to help out. See if the two of you can get out for a movie or a dinner. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Cliff Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 Here is a link to a site that might help you out a bit. Mayo Clinic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Headhunter Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 My wife exhibited many of the symptoms after our son was born... nothing that 4 days in Bahama's didn't cure! Something about those purple drinks they made at the pool bar that broke her out of it! Time, patience the odd cuddle and you should be ok! HH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff R Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 I don't think there is a set time limit on when it will start...My ex was about the 8 month mark after our first, when it hit her... as stated lots of patience, and listening... I mentioned it a couple times trying not to be pushy about it, but she still hadn't talked to the doc. So before her next checkup I phoned the doctor, and mentioned what was going on. All it took was for him to ask if she was sleeping alright because she looked a little tense and that was that...She got the help, and to this day still doesn't know it was me who said anything. Don't know if the same will work for you, but that's how we got through it Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccmtcanada Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 I don't think there is a set time limit on when it will start...My ex was about the 8 month mark after our first, when it hit her... as stated lots of patience, and listening... I mentioned it a couple times trying not to be pushy about it, but she still hadn't talked to the doc. So before her next checkup I phoned the doctor, and mentioned what was going on. All it took was for him to ask if she was sleeping alright because she looked a little tense and that was that...She got the help, and to this day still doesn't know it was me who said anything. Don't know if the same will work for you, but that's how we got through it Jeff Jeff...that's great that you knew the signs and that you were watching it! Even better that you did something about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snag Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 Fresh air and sunshine are good things for all of us this time of year, especially those who are feeling a little sad. Make sure that the house is running itself (cooking and cleaning for example) and that she doesn't feel overwhelmed by that part of the day. Do it yourself, call in a family member, or send somebody to help out. See if the two of you can get out for a movie or a dinner. Good luck. Extremely important to get some sun and air. My wife suffers from SAD (Seasonal Affected Disorder) and after our son was born, it was quite a ride. The Sun (Vitamin D) is essential so get her OUT on sunny days as much as possible. Exercise is key to help level hormones. Love, listening and support. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishing n autograph Posted March 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 Thanks for your help and support guys, i appreciate it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Urban Fisherman Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 All great advice from everybody, not that I can add much, but I'll tell you about Efexer (not sure if I spelled it right) It helped my fiance in a hurry, but the down-side is some of the side effects, and getting off of it is like trying to get off of crack! She's slowly been lowering the dosage, but it's tough to get off of the stuff. If she can get through it without any drugs, thats the way to go! Good luck to you and your wife! Cheers, UF ps. one major side effect issue I have with efexer is that it lowers your wife's sex drive!!! STAY AWAY FROM THE STUFF!! haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
setomonkey Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 Like the rest mentioned, support and help her as much as you can. And don't be shy about getting professional help if things seem to be getting really bad, there are effective treatments for depression and you need her around for your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeXXington Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 Just be there bud, Only thing I can offer that not already said is too keep busy (the good busy).. not cleaning and taking care of the kid. But walks, stuff she likes etc. When the mind is busy it does not think of the dispare. A very larger percentage of men and women go through it at one point in their life. Hang in there it gets better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bpsbassman Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 Don't really have anything to add, there is a wealth of good advise here. Definitely a NF thread, the kind some complain about, but a real reminder of what makes this site so great! Just the fact you've recognized it and trying to do something about it tells me you're on your way to fixing the problem. Good Luck and hopefully a quick resolution. Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 thank god...i thought i was the only one......i'm sitting here wishing i had my wife back lol Speaking first hand about PPD, I experienced it with my second son... thing is it took someone pointing it out to me for me to get help you may consider not just avoiding conversations but becoming pro active in your wifes recovery of herself! It is a tough road for both of you, lots of hugs, and understanding and you will both be ok! Kudo's to you for seeking reassurance and help... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirk Posted March 19, 2008 Report Share Posted March 19, 2008 Fortunately we had no such problems with our two boys, but before the first I read up on it to be prepared and I can only advise to seek med attention for it and don't ignore it. Also, I think its only supposed to be in the first month after the baby and anything later might be something else. Spending time together cures alot of problems, and its cheaper than seeing a shrink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigfish1965 Posted March 19, 2008 Report Share Posted March 19, 2008 I've got as very close friend who is going through depression right now. It is challenging at times for me, so I can imagine what she is going through. It is difficult to not feel helpless because you just want to find the switch to make them better. She is in counselling and doing the things she should be. I am trying as best I can to be supportive. Often that means shutting my mouth. Things I've learned so far.. Don't tell them to 'just snap out of it'. Depression is a complicated medical condition that often involves seratonin issues and is beyond the control of the person. Post Partum Depression, PMS and Peri-menopausal Depression are rooted in hormone imbalances as well as emotional changes. If the person decides to use an SSRI or similar product, be aware of side effects and mood changes. Try really, really hard not to take it personally. Make sure you are taking a break from the support from time to time to step back and take care of yourself. You can get overwhelmed by their needs and care if you are not careful. Know that one day she will be better and you will have the one you love back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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