A weekend together

[Gerritt]

As some of you know I have taken the responsibility of caring for my elderly grandparents...(Oma and Opa) and in doing so turned my life upside down.... moving from Hamilton to the sleepy little town of Brighton. Needless to say it was a change from the city... such as finding out pretty much NOTHING is open on Mondays.... (I find that very odd.... moving on....)

 

Shortly after arriving here my Opa was placed into hospital... (Dementia is the devil) and could no longer safely live at home due to the multiple assaults against my Oma.... It is then I learned about the multiple levels of bureaucracy required to place someone into a long term care home..... what a nightmare. I will spare you all the details but suffice it to say he is now getting the care and stimulation he needs.... and while he has no clue what I went through to get this done.... nor does he even remember what my name is anymore... when I see him I see the sparkle in his eyes and a smile on his face... that is enough for me, knowing he is well taken care of.

 

As for my Oma... well that is is a different story... she too has failing health.... my Opa lost his mind... She is losing her body.... everyday is a struggle... some days are worse then others, Sure I have help for an hour in the morning from a Personal Support Worker... but that is doesn't cover the other 23 hours of the day.... that is where I step in.

 

I am the cook, the cleaner, the pharmacist, the confidant, the banker, the errand boy, the gardener, the chauffeur and the muscle.... I am her beloved grandson... the one that could do no wrong as I was growing up..(Even though I did do wrong)....

 

I used to spend summers with my Oma and Opa and they helped raise me... now I felt as though karma needed to be repaid... so here I am... Taking care of our 88 year old Matriarch... as well as my 90 year Patriarch (at least I have 24 hour help him even though he is in a home there is ALOT to be done) Anyone that has to exercise Power of Attorney for property and care while they are still alive can attest to this.... (I have it for both of them.....)

 

So finding time for myself these past 3 months has been very difficult.... and with my family all over Canada and Europe.... finding help has been somewhat difficult.... as I do need time for myself from time to time too...

 

Well I finally found that time, I have been in close contact with my son... for the most part almost daily... to see how his day to day life has been... @ 6 years old it is hard to keep his attention for very long with todays modern distractions... I compete with TV Nintendo DS, Pokemon, Leap Pads and the computer.... not to mention homework.... so our conversations are usually brief... but they mean the world to me...

 

We miss each other dearly.

 

So my ex wife and I worked out a plan that worked for both of us, (Im supposed to have every other weekend but given my responsibilities and the distance it is a work in progress) I worked on setting up care for Oma...

 

Uncle Jac stepped up.

 

Ok with out of the way, I was extremely excited to spend some quality time together! so I had it planned out that we would go to my other uncles farm... (who just happens to have a 24 foot trailer.... Perfect! CAMPING!!!)

 

Liam was very excited about this idea, not to mention the fact Uncle Marc has a private pond that has never seen a lure... needless to say Liam wasn't bored for a second! one cast.... one fish! it was awesome to spend this time together and reconnect, and he cannot wait for two weeks to pass to do it again!

 

Anyways I have bored you all enough with my ramblings.... I think it is time for some pictures!

 

I hope you enjoy them.

 

Liam inspecting our fishing spot,

 

 

Lets see how long it takes me to run around it dad....

 

 

The barn..... Liam loved it... circa 1897

 

 

The House..... welcome to Deerfield Farms..

 

The Flora...

 

Getting prepared.....

 

 

 

Got one.... and another! and another.... Dad this one is huge! (They were all huge to him lol)

 

 

and some fun other then fishing

 

 

Pokemon...... no clue how to play this....

 

 

So that was our weekend.... this is only a small amount of pictures... but to me they are priceless..... I wouldnt have traded this weekend with my son for 50 million.... it was time well spent reconnecting, especially for me after so many weeks of negativity... Just to be a dad again... meant the world to me... and hopefully we can do it again soon..

 

One last picture...

 

Goodnight Liam.

 

It was nice to just be a dad...... and nothing else for one weekend.

 

G.

Edited June 25, 2012 by Gerritt

[solopaddler]

You've been through a lot in your life and you continue to handle adversity in a way that I greatly admire.

 

That was neither rambling or boring.

 

Thank you.

[danbouck]

Awesome!

[Twocoda]

Amazing !!!! Good on you.... Good on your son...Good on us all for getting to read this....

[davey buoy]

You seem like a great grandson and father. Wish you the best with your grand parents,I'm sure it's tough. Those pictures bring back memories.

Edited June 25, 2012 by davey buoy

[Leecher]

Some well deserve time spent with your son Gerrit His smile says it all! But this pic to me is PRICELESS

 

 

Thanks for sharing

Jacques

[Joey]

Excellent report Gerritt. I knew you were taking care of your grandmother, but didn't realize to what extent. Sounds like you are doing a great job and love them both very much. Good on ya hon, I'm proud of you.

 

So glad your son got to come and spend some time with you. That looked like a wonderful father/son day and I'm sure he'll remember it for a long time to come. Hope he can keep coming to do that with you, and soon

 

Thanks for this report!!

 

Joey

[Mike the Pike]

Absolutely Priceless I needed that thanks for the uplifting report.

 

:clapping:

[Gregoire]

Thanks for sharing. That put a smile on my face.

[spincast]

Good for you. The smile on both of your faces says it all. That is a heavy load you're carrying - I lost my Mum to cancer and my Dad to dementia in an 18 month period - he was going through the aggressive stage as she was detriorating. The POA's indeed bring a heavy burden of responsibility. But what you are doing is a good thing - all around. My best wishes. Oh - and uncle Jack is very cool - love the shot with the two of them in the tractor with the matching freezies

 

(edited for spelling)

Edited June 26, 2012 by spincast

[Skud]

Thanks for the reminder to all us Dads that every moment we spend with our kids is special. We may at times take seeing our children every day for granted and become to busy for them. Good for you for taking care of your family. In time your son will recognize this, follow in your footsteps and grow up to become a great asset to his family as well.

[Grimace]

You've been through a lot in your life and you continue to handle adversity in a way that I greatly admire.

 

That was neither rambling or boring.

 

Thank you.

 

I could not possibly say it better than that.

 

It must be hard to be away from your son. Those pictures are very touching knowing that the time spent together was long overdue.

 

Keep at it. You're awesome.

[Nipfisher]

As a dad of 2 boys I am sure that time spent apart is tough. Looks like you found the solution in "great" time together. Love all the father / son activities.

 

 

 

P.S. If Liam can't make it one weekend I'l come fish that pond with you. Sweet looking bass and sunnies.

Edited June 26, 2012 by Nipfisher

[young_one]

Welcome back Gerrriiiit

[mercman]

If no one has said this to you today, let me be the first. You're a good man Gerritt.

[johnnyb]

Great report....priceless. That will fuel you for the next little while....good job man.

 

 

[Headhunter]

Well Gerritt, this was the report I was looking forward to and it did not disappoint. So glad you two had a great time, no doubt you both needed it... I hope you can repeat it over and over again... it is great to see you both happy together...

Thanks for this G!

HH

[wallyboss]

I tip my hat to you Gerrit, you are a great grandson, father. Enjoy your time with your son, your time spent with your grandparents. That's what Family is all about.

[torco]

Great report, thanks

[Harrison]

Your a good man Gerrit.

[Musky or Specks]

I really enjoyed that report. Having been a co-parent myself with my son while he was growing up I know how tough that can be. Your really building up some good karma though. Your appear to be a selfless good guy. Keep it up.

[Nemo]

Nice one Gerritt,

 

You may know this, but call your local CCAC (Community Care Access Centre). They will provide your Oma(and you) with assistance to keep her in her home.

 

http://www.ccac-ont.ca/

 

Nemo

[cynmar]

WELL DONE SIR; (and yes I am yelling it)

[Jds63]

A truly wonderful story ... the pictures of you and your son fishing with no other distractions tells it all !!!

[Gerritt]

Thank you everyone for the kind words

 

I know I have been somewhat absent from the board due to my responsibilities... and it took awhile for me to adjust to life here taking care of my elders..... needless to say it has its ups and downs.... but alot more ups everyday my Oma remains in her house is a victory... she chooses to die here... who am I to deny that. The Leukemia that is ravaging her body has made things difficult... and at 88 there is little they can do....

 

But I needed time for myself as well... So I made sure I had it I put measures in place to help with her care (she wont let just anyone in) and off I went to spend time with my boy.

 

It is a weekend neither of us will forget and there will be many more to come

 

Thank you all again, I hope you enjoyed the report.

 

 

G.