Barred from Costco...

[Beans]

TRIP TO COSTCO

Yesterday, I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet once again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital the last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so it works well and I was going to try it once again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit the both of us. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. COSTCO won't let me shop there anymore.Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

Edited December 15, 2010 by Beans

[TJQ]

jhahahahahaa... nice...

[fishing n autograph]

That's awesome! I fell over laughing!

[mercman]

Beans, you are a real character for sure.I have to go home now and get a new pair of briefs

 

Thanks for the laff !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Paul

[johnnyb]

That is absolutely hilarious....nicely done

[Roy]

That's an old diet, Norm. My uncle was on it for the longest time then died one evening. The diet didn't kill him either. After supper he took up his normal place on the couch and when he turned around to lick his ass he fell off the couch and broke his neck.

[stubbex1]

 

Ha haaa haaaaaaa thanks beans!!!

[Headhunter]

HH

[Terry]

That's an old diet, Norm. My uncle was on it for the longest time then died one evening. The diet didn't kill him either. After supper he took up his normal place on the couch and when he turned around to lick his ass he fell off the couch and broke his neck.

 

LOL

 

you beat me to it

[Blue Lk]

That's an old diet, Norm. My uncle was on it for the longest time then died one evening. The diet didn't kill him either. After supper he took up his normal place on the couch and when he turned around to lick his ass he fell off the couch and broke his neck.

My uncle tried it & died too,but he was laying in the driveway,licking his nuts when my aunt backed over him with her car.

[mercman]

That's an old diet, Norm. My uncle was on it for the longest time then died one evening. The diet didn't kill him either. After supper he took up his normal place on the couch and when he turned around to lick his ass he fell off the couch and broke his neck.

 

 

If he hadda sat further back on the sofa, he would still be alive today.

[mercman]

My uncle tried it & died too,but he was laying in the driveway,licking his nuts when my aunt backed over him with her car.

 

 

Dang !!!! NEVER NEVER NEVER attend to your privates in the driveway !!! Look what happens !

[splashhopper]

Beans,,, we have two Costco's here in London.... if u visit here, I will take you. ( I will just be standing a couple of people back in line with a hidden camera and then we will post it on Youtube and become the new "justin beibers" ),... but in your case, it will be " just in the bibbers"

Edited December 15, 2010 by splashhopper

[OhioFisherman]

LOL, great Norm! I guy I worked with retired and got a part time job as a greeter at a local WalMart. A lady came in one day and asked him where she could find the sanitary napkins, he told her and added if you need help fitting them I am available. She complained to the store manager and they fired him. Some people can`t take a joke.

[mercman]

LOL, great Norm! I guy I worked with retired and got a part time job as a greeter at a local WalMart. A lady came in one day and asked him where she could find the sanitary napkins, he told her and added if you need help fitting them I am available. She complained to the store manager and they fired him. Some people can`t take a joke.

 

 

[Beans]

Beans,,, we have two Costco's here in London.... if u visit here, I will take you. ( I will just be standing a couple of people back in line with a hidden camera and then we will post it on Youtube and become the new "justin beibers" ),... but in your case, it will be " just in the bibbers"

 

If we did that...certain people might think we had been into the grape...

 

 

 

[splashhopper]

If we did that...certain people might think we had been into the grape...

 

Let em talk... at least they will leave some other graper alone

[TennesseeGuy]

A lady came in one day and asked him where she could find the sanitary napkins, he told her and added if you need help fitting them I am available. She complained to the store manager and they fired him. Some people can`t take a joke.

 

Sanitary napkins aren't the best thing in the world, but they are the next thing to it.

[Whitespinnerbait]

Hoax...

[tb4me]

lol funny.. thanks

[steverowbotham]

LOL

[Sis]

That was great Beans! Thanks for the laugh!

[Whopper]

Norm I see you still get mail from the southern fella