Neighbor kid just shot a bb through my living room window!

[discophish]

Dad will send the child off to an uncle eh? Explains a lot...you did a good deed there Splashie. WTG! Maybe you can get a good deal on the pellet gun at the auction too! Hope your piece of glass gets fixed cause we all know that that's the important thing.

 

Sleep well, Ron.

 

When I read through that post, it sure did sound like the damaged glass was the main concern here too.

[danc]

If any of my neighbors kids intentionally shoots a projectile through any window in my house, damn right the cops are gonna be called.

[irishfield]

ya got that right Dan! Gone are the days of kids fearing the wood shed unfortunately.

[ctdd2006]

I don't think anyone would have faulted anyone if that approach would have been taken immediately (calling cops)...but it wasn't. I think the issue is that Splash went to the neighbor's yard had his fit...had the adult chat then went to the cops! I don't feel bad for the kid...he needs a kick in the butt or a scare...but I'm sure "dad" doesn't deserve the headache according to how Splash told US himself how "dad" handled the confrontation!!?? As I've mentioned before...there won't be a winner here regardless and I hope it works out well for all involved.

[timmeh]

Can't really fault you for calling the police, though maybe best if you informed the dad prior. But what if the dad keeps the gun for a week and then gives it back to the kid. Who knows? Maybe this is the wakeup call both kid and parents need.

Edited October 19, 2010 by timmeh

[camillj]

I gotta agree with Roy on this one ... it's amazing how much good a little honest heart to heart can have (if your goal is to improve the situation for the long term) ... on the other hand ... if the dad's first reaction was 'now you've cost us even more money' instead of ... 'thank GOD nobody was hurt - what were you THINKING son !" ... then maybe dad needs a little wake up call too ... sometimes sorry just isn't good enough.

[danc]

If I did such a thing when I was a kid I would have had bruises on my backside for the next two weeks at least. Having known that, I never would have done such a thing.

[fishinguypat]

calling the police after telling the dad, that may make you come off as a loser to him if he gets in trouble from the police, the kid should be the one in trouble

[solopaddler]

If any of my neighbors kids intentionally shoots a projectile through any window in my house, damn right the cops are gonna be called.

 

Yeah well if the dad had come over after the fact, apologized to you and offered to make things right would you have told the man what your intentions were?

 

I'm guessing you would've told him "the police are going to be called"

 

Which would have been the right hing to do.

 

In this case the police were called after pressure from the OP's wife.

 

After the neighbour came over to apologize.

 

 

Considering the circumstances I would never have called the police in the first place. But everyone's entitled to their opinion.

[splashhopper]

Yeah well if the dad had come over after the fact, apologized to you and offered to make things right would you have told the man what your intentions were?

 

I'm guessing you would've told him "the police are going to be called"

 

Which would have been the right hing to do.

 

In this case the police were called after pressure from the OP's wife.

 

After the neighbour came over to apologize.

 

 

Considering the circumstances I would never have called the police in the first place. But everyone's entitled to their opinion.

 

 

I think you may have missed a very important point here solo...

 

The kid was not told to apologize... I didn't see that either until my wife pointed it out to me. His father accepted responsibility for the kids actions.

In some circles, that would be considered ENABLING.

 

It is very easy to be a "backyard" quarterback after the fact.

 

Our family ( my wife and I) took the actions that we deemed appropriate for our family last night.

 

I can play the " backyard " quarterback all day too.... and I did for a few brief moments after I called the police. And then I stuck with my wife's wishes and haven't reconsidered since.

 

btw..Our particular townhouse is separated from this kids home on the street behind us by a pathway and green area that a lot of children use everyday to play in everyday.

 

Thank GOD, none of the kids were out there when this happened and didn't get one of the bb's in the eye.

 

And maybe, just maybe, the kid did get the crap scared out of him by his dad and the police last night and he will have learned more respect for the bb gun and its power.

 

The glass window is a very small price to pay for a lesson that needs to be learned if the kid is going to have access to guns.

[Tarzan's Jane]

Half a dozen of this, half a dozen of that. I fostered children years ago. Very sad to say but some children do not respond to adult sit downs and talking. Some children are troubled. Some children need help. I know this from experience. Fostered a 7 year old, most mixed up little boy I have ever met. He was violent....so violent. I lasted one week short of a year - just couldnt do it anymore - I was worn out, completely. His story is a very sad one, after leaving my home, he went to two others - no other home could handle him more than 2 weeks. Both homes shut down and refused to do anymore fostering. I am not exaggerating -this was one very ill boy - at 7 years of age!!!

I was told by CAS that the last home he was in, the police had to be called. Even the police had a difficult time calming this child down. The only thing that worked was placing the little guy in the back of the cruiser and turning the lights and sirens on at the little boys request.

The system ended up placing this 7 year old into a group home and heavily medicated him. He would be 16 today. I keep watching for his name in the paper....as much as I hate to admit it....I believe he will seriously hurt someone someday and possibly take a life.

Who do I blame....his mother. If she would have backed off, I had a chance with him and he had a chance with me....and I blame CAS for allowing that woman to hurt him time and time again.

 

When an organization such as the Children<s Aid Society fails a child....I have no words that would ever come close to expressing how I truly feel about that. I just get too angry sometimes when I think of that little boy and how we all failed him.

 

You did nothing wrong - hopefully the father will be given some resources on how to deal with his son.

[cranks bait]

While i see this as kids being kids. I think it's too late to have a heart to heart with this kid. Should have been done a long time ago to teach him respect and values.

 

It's a tough call because it is your neighbors. BUT the fact of the matter is he shot a firearm into your house. This is 100% a police call, I don't care who it is. Yes it was only a bb, but it can still do some major damage. What if the kid figures he can get away with this gun and how easy it is, then he finds a more powerful gun? I hope the police scared the crap out of him to straighten him out.

[misfish]

Boy does this bring back childhood days.Like mentioned,talks and whoop,ns from thier pops,scare tatics by the police, just dont cut it with some kids.MAKES THEM MORE RECENTFULL AND MORE OF A TROUBLE MAKER.I SHOULD KNOW,I WAS ONE OF THEM.

You talked to the father and called the cops .Will it work,Im sure you will find out.

 

Not saying it wont work for the kid, but sometimes it takes a few years to learn. Hell took me awhile. I was very rebelous in my boyhood days.

 

 

Twi,I totally understand your post. There are good people out there to help,just need to be given the time.Good on you for being one of them.Seen pretty much all that can happen in homes and detenttion centers.

 

Get that window fixed,it,s getting cold out there.

[spinnerbaitking]

Dad comes flying out of the garage and start giving his kid crap and telling him that he has just cost their family MORE Money.

 

1.What else has this kid done that COST the Family more MONEY

 

While the dad is in the house for about 45 seconds the kid looks at me with a REAL SMIRK on his face as if to say : what the hell are u gonna do about it, I am just a kid!

 

2.That says it all a sit down with dad isn't going to do any thing

 

The dad immediately accepts responsibility and comes with me to look at the window.

 

3.His son should have been with him looking at the window & accepting responsibility

 

I then tell the father about the kids attitude with me and he tells me that is the same problem the teachers are complaining about at his school.

 

4.If the Teachers are complaining about his attitude at school & nothing is being done or at least if something is being do it's not working this is maybe the next step & hopefully it works, I would have had my son take responsibility & apoligize, wouldn't you

 

Richard

[fish_fishburn]

A similar situation happened to me as a kid. By age 11 my buddies and I all had pellet guns and sling shots. We would hunt in the bush behind my house for rabbits birds and whatever else moved. When that got boring we started hunting each other. Then one day Larry got shot in the nose and had to go to the hospital. All our dads were soldiers at the time and was my oldman ever pissed at me. Our dads sat the five of us down on the back step and made us watch as our weapons were destroyed with a hacksaw. Some of the boys were crying but I think I was crapping my pants because I was pretty sure I was dead meat when I got home. By 14 we all had our hunters safety courses and hunting licence's and never had an issue with weapons again. I was suprised my oldman didn't take me to the woodshed when we got home but we had a serious man to boy talk. Now throwing firecrackers at my sister and her friends won me a free ticket to the woodshed. I still remember that one. Wasn't pretty.

[mbac31]

I would like to chime in on this one. I'm not taking anyones side here either. I would like to mention that "I was that kid" Twilight, that kid you speak of was nothing compared to me. Just for example, I had burned down 2 houses before the age of 10. BB guns were peoples least worry when it came to me. Cops never did scare me when I was little, neither did a good beating with a switch or anything else to be honest. I was just a little bugger with no other intention other than how much crap can I stir up today. Numerous instances I could mention dont matter. I was thrown in Juvie and medicated like some had mentioned here, great idea, lets shove him in the corner and forget about him. This is an awesome way to deal with kids. I do thank my Parents for having the patience to not have given me up. My Dads theory was that he will eventually break me no matter what. Parents give up to dam easy now adays. There are more important things in life like racing home to get that frozen dinner in the microwave and making sure they get to see greys anatomy's season premier. Oh, are you finished that frozen boxed crap, well off to bed, love you. What a freekin joke. Most parents are to blame for their kids being influenced by Gangs, etc. Gangs have been around since Christ. The system sucks, and no kid deserves to be in it at all. To many people with diplomas on their walls that have not a clue why they got it in the first place.

 

There were a few instances that I have never forgotten in my life as a kid. There were 3 people that along the way that helped m in ways to which I still cant thank them enough. Somewhere along the lines of what Roy speaks of. 2 teachers and one outsider. These people didnt se me as a little bugger needing a pill or a switch beating. They saw me as a kid that needed to be challenged. They would appeal to me in ways that others with these so called diplomas never thought of because I was seen as a number to them and thats it. They got through to me and explained to my parents how to do so as well. Mind you, the time I did spend in school I never got a B in my life. I have always gotten A's. I had skipped three grades in school and never had to open a book to learn something. Just one of those kids that figured most was just common sense kinda thinking and went with that, funny thing is. I never swore at someone older than me and always said hello and helped everyone in my community with either shovelling snow or whatever. So I wasnt an easy little bugger to figure out if ya know what I mean.

 

I know its a funny thing to say but I never really got it until others starting getting me and having respect for me. These 3 people in my childhood are to this day still very good friends of mine. I go home every year and they are my first stops. One has sadly passed away. The other 2 are 2 teachers that I had who took the time unlike teachers of today.

 

A few years ago I had the chance to confront one of those so called individuals whom I would like to add was charged after I got out of Juvie. This person was as mixed up as I was and is often the case with most of them. I did not know how I would react to him at all. Instead, much to my surprise I was very friendly to him and had a beer with him. Sat and talked with him for over an hour at a local bar. When I got up to leave he and his other friend asked me my name. When I stated who I was the man went white. I preceeded to tell him that there was no hard feelings and that I dont blame him. After all, look how I turned out. I have wnt on to college and university and various other schools, a sucessfull business and a lovely home, a wife who I adore and a Little girl who is my world. I read to her every night even if I'm in Quebec fishing the Berkly B1. I take her everywhere. Dicipline has been introduced to her as well, does she like it, no but has learned lessons even at 19 months.

 

I still beleive that there is good in every kid. They are still just kids mind you and to many people forget that. To many kids have to grow up to fast. Never being able to be a kid. I live in Toronto and se my other friends giving their kids to long of a leash. I still beleive that Kids hav to spanked no matter what. Society as a whole has come along way in the advancement of what a kid can learn in 2010. I look at it this way. I never sit in front of a TV and let it watch me watch it. Kids cant smell a flower from the inside of the house. They need excerise, outdoors, indoors and a multitude of things. We are their teachers and if we teach them to do the wrong things they in turn do the same never really changing just evolving into better forgetters.

 

 

There are some people reading this and saying whatever, its not that easy. Well no its not but nothing ever is. I see to many kids in 2010 living their lives indoors. To may parents whining about the cell phones, cameras, computers. Etc. They can all be used outdoors. They us that as an excuse. I have a DVD player for my boat that keeps my daughter happy while Daddy is Pre Fishing. I dont gte to spend that much time out there but she is still outdoors, gets to tough every fish and see what Im doing rather than leave her at the Daycare until I get back. Alot of Parents are Lazy in 2010. There lives are far to busy and they leave it up to the over crowded classrooms etc to teach them as its their job. You wonder why kids get into trouble with Gangs. These gangs show them the respect they deserve. Funny isnt it.

[jbailey]

smalliefisher - your story sounds all too familiar.

Kids/Teens need something to occupy their time, and parents need to be aware of who they are hanging around and what they are choosing to do with their spare time.

Until I found fishing I was "considered" a lost cause. Some charges, some therapy and an attitude change worked collectively to change my thought process which would reflect in my behaviour. Occupying my time with fishing basically saved my life.

[solopaddler]

Marvin I think your daughter's lucky to have you as her dad.

[smally21]

it seems like the actions of the father demonstrated remorse, frustration, etc. so that's good.

 

unless i missed it has anyone asked where the pellet gun came from? the kid didn't walk into canadian tire and buy it did he???

 

so 'dad' here, knows his kid is a hellraiser and a trouble maker. dad also knows there is no room for pellet guns unless you live on the farm or something a little more rural. but superdad goes out and buys the kid a pellet gun, probably doesn't teach him squat about safety or what have you, then lets him out in the backyard with another kid to shoot the gun 'unsupervised'.

 

so in spite of his positive reaction to your complaint he has alot of responsibilities here.....

[misfish]

I would like to chime in on this one. I'm not taking anyones side here either. I would like to mention that "I was that kid" Twilight, that kid you speak of was nothing compared to me. Just for example, I had burned down 2 houses before the age of 10. BB guns were peoples least worry when it came to me. Cops never did scare me when I was little, neither did a good beating with a switch or anything else to be honest. I was just a little bugger with no other intention other than how much crap can I stir up today. Numerous instances I could mention dont matter. I was thrown in Juvie and medicated like some had mentioned here, great idea, lets shove him in the corner and forget about him. This is an awesome way to deal with kids. I do thank my Parents for having the patience to not have given me up. My Dads theory was that he will eventually break me no matter what. Parents give up to dam easy now adays. There are more important things in life like racing home to get that frozen dinner in the microwave and making sure they get to see greys anatomy's season premier. Oh, are you finished that frozen boxed crap, well off to bed, love you. What a freekin joke. Most parents are to blame for their kids being influenced by Gangs, etc. Gangs have been around since Christ. The system sucks, and no kid deserves to be in it at all. To many people with diplomas on their walls that have not a clue why they got it in the first place.

 

There were a few instances that I have never forgotten in my life as a kid. There were 3 people that along the way that helped m in ways to which I still cant thank them enough. Somewhere along the lines of what Roy speaks of. 2 teachers and one outsider. These people didnt se me as a little bugger needing a pill or a switch beating. They saw me as a kid that needed to be challenged. They would appeal to me in ways that others with these so called diplomas never thought of because I was seen as a number to them and thats it. They got through to me and explained to my parents how to do so as well. Mind you, the time I did spend in school I never got a B in my life. I have always gotten A's. I had skipped three grades in school and never had to open a book to learn something. Just one of those kids that figured most was just common sense kinda thinking and went with that, funny thing is. I never swore at someone older than me and always said hello and helped everyone in my community with either shovelling snow or whatever. So I wasnt an easy little bugger to figure out if ya know what I mean.

 

I know its a funny thing to say but I never really got it until others starting getting me and having respect for me. These 3 people in my childhood are to this day still very good friends of mine. I go home every year and they are my first stops. One has sadly passed away. The other 2 are 2 teachers that I had who took the time unlike teachers of today.

 

A few years ago I had the chance to confront one of those so called individuals whom I would like to add was charged after I got out of Juvie. This person was as mixed up as I was and is often the case with most of them. I did not know how I would react to him at all. Instead, much to my surprise I was very friendly to him and had a beer with him. Sat and talked with him for over an hour at a local bar. When I got up to leave he and his other friend asked me my name. When I stated who I was the man went white. I preceeded to tell him that there was no hard feelings and that I dont blame him. After all, look how I turned out. I have wnt on to college and university and various other schools, a sucessfull business and a lovely home, a wife who I adore and a Little girl who is my world. I read to her every night even if I'm in Quebec fishing the Berkly B1. I take her everywhere. Dicipline has been introduced to her as well, does she like it, no but has learned lessons even at 19 months.

 

I still beleive that there is good in every kid. They are still just kids mind you and to many people forget that. To many kids have to grow up to fast. Never being able to be a kid. I live in Toronto and se my other friends giving their kids to long of a leash. I still beleive that Kids hav to spanked no matter what. Society as a whole has come along way in the advancement of what a kid can learn in 2010. I look at it this way. I never sit in front of a TV and let it watch me watch it. Kids cant smell a flower from the inside of the house. They need excerise, outdoors, indoors and a multitude of things. We are their teachers and if we teach them to do the wrong things they in turn do the same never really changing just evolving into better forgetters.

 

 

There are some people reading this and saying whatever, its not that easy. Well no its not but nothing ever is. I see to many kids in 2010 living their lives indoors. To may parents whining about the cell phones, cameras, computers. Etc. They can all be used outdoors. They us that as an excuse. I have a DVD player for my boat that keeps my daughter happy while Daddy is Pre Fishing. I dont gte to spend that much time out there but she is still outdoors, gets to tough every fish and see what Im doing rather than leave her at the Daycare until I get back. Alot of Parents are Lazy in 2010. There lives are far to busy and they leave it up to the over crowded classrooms etc to teach them as its their job. You wonder why kids get into trouble with Gangs. These gangs show them the respect they deserve. Funny isnt it.

 

 

Thanks for taking the time to type that up.

 

You have to have lived it to understand it.

 

Did we ever hook up at 311?

[lookinforwalleye]

Police just left.

 

THEY told me I did the right thing. ( pretty smart wife I have eh ! )

 

They gave me a report # in case the dad isn't a stand up guy and doesn't pay for the window.

 

They also confirmed that there is a bylaw that forbids the discharge of firearms in the city, so this gun will be removed from the home tonight.

 

I also told them I was not interested in having the parents charged for anything but did want the kid to feel the consequences of HIS OWN actions.

 

And as I re-iterated in my previous post, the dad admitted that he couldn't handle his own kid anymore and would likely send him off to an uncle. Maybe that wasn't too clear to some of the responders in this thread.

 

Thanks for all the input.

 

Splashhopper

 

The parents couldn`t handle the little PR anymore because they have let this angel get away with poop a little too long, they and everybody else this comes in contact with is now paying the price for there lousy parenting.

[Harrison]

I'd bet the kid would of been happy to sit in the cruiser, would give him more street cred and something to post on facebook.

 

Depending on the Dads attitude, I probably would of let him handle it. Then again, maybe not, as the kid is a product of his environment. He needs someone to respect.

 

Smalliefisher - If I remember right you asked about being a big brother a while ago. After reading your story I beleive you really could influence a youngsters life who is need.

Edited October 19, 2010 by Harrison

[tb4me]

Well written Smalliefisher..Good on you for that.I myself can kinda relate to the father. My son threw a rock that oddly bounced of a gazebo and smashed the neighbours window.The neighbour came over to our house and accused our son of "shooting out the window with a gun" As it turned out im a local contractor and was able to fix it. The neighbour was convinced he shot out her window and we didnt even have a gun. After a long conversation with me and my son present she finally undersottd it was a freak accident. Well in an atempt to keep a long story short no Police were called. The funny thing was after I threatened to put my foot you know where (on the boy) it turned out the lady worked for childrens aid..Yikes! She then proceeded to tell me I had a good bright young boy. She could have made it much worse than it was thats for sure.

In your situation I would have done the same.with the fact that it was a gun and add the fact that Dad had enough (and clearly couldnt control his boy) the Police clearly needed to be involved..Now im thinking your house wasnt the first shot.I wonder how many other houses have chipped glass and dented siding.

Good luck to you and your family going forward.

[mattybculp]

Its amazing these days the lack of respect some kids have. Im not a young guy but, gone are the days of that fear for authority figures ( ie parents,police,or teachers). My parents never beat me but there was always a calming respect and fear of what the consequences of my actions would be.I live in a decent neighbourhood now and live beside this family (obviously disfunctional) whos kids are 6 and 11. The things these kids are saying are things that i wasnt saying till my first year of midget hockey. It doesnt matter what time of day, sunday morning, you can hear explenatives 8 houses away. they will sit there on the side of the road where the speed limit is like 15 and throw pebbles at peoples cars as they drive by, standing right on the curb 5 feet from you ! The balls on these kids are incredible. Not need to hide or run away. You get out of the car and and they basically say to go screw yourself. An 11 year old ! my jaw just dropped.I go right to the parents and within 3 seconds i understand where the kids are getting it from. I call the cops but trust me that fear just isnt there anymore,the kid puts the face on for 10 mins and then pooof the cop leaves and hes right back to normal. I think its sad to say but i think the days of heart to hearts are dwindelling there maybe a few left that will genuinely listen and absorb the advice you give them, but sadly i think for the most part that number is getting smaller. Damn Media!

[fishing n autograph]

Here's my take on it... I've worked with "troubled" kids for most of my life, but now that I'm on the "other" side and I'm not counselling kids anymore I'm kind of stuck between what I've learn prior to LE and what I've learned since. If I run into a kid and it's his first time w/ the police and he just stole a candy bar you can tell if he's gonna be a repeat customer. I tend to scare the absolute crap out of them by giving a great lecture and often times the walk out of the store in cuffs and having mom and dad pick them up from the back of my car is a good way to correct the behaviour. Unfortunately they're are a lot of kids that have had it tough and the parents have failed. These are the ones that call 911 because their 8 year old won't eat their peanut butter sandwich or their 9 year old won't listen. I tend to lay it out for the parents and tell them its not my job to raise their kids. I have 2 of my own that I'm responsible for.