Landlord crazy or just a Prison Warden?

[Mattones]

I Took this off another forum as I thought it was pretty wacked out.

 

I was checking out craigslist try to find a suitable place to rent when this ad caught my eye http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/apa/969260028.html

 

Finding a tenant who will go buy their rules is one thing. Are These guys even allowed to advertise like this. It sounds like a jail. This has to be illegal

 

 

I will paste the ad here just in case it gets deleted

 

 

Available Immediately – Yonge & Eglinton (Duplex Ave) – Showing Saturday and Sunday – Email for directions and additional information.

 

What kind of apartment is it?

 

• One bedroom basement apartment with separate entrance

• Tastefully decorated with modern minimalist décor

• Approximately 650 square feet

• There is even a window! Security bars installed for your safety and to prevent unauthorized activity

• Closed circuit camera installed for security and safety. One in your suite, one at the entrance, and one in the exercise yard

 

Rent:

• $615.00 per month

• First month’s rent + ½ month security deposit due at move in

• Small pet allowed with approval and payment of additional ½ month pet damage deposit

• One year lease permitted, option to renew lease at end of the term with no increase in rent

• LANDLORD’S SPECIAL! Move in before January 1st and don’t pay for the remainder of December! That’s significant savings, especially during this time of year.

 

Included in the rent:

 

• Electricity

• Heat – Maintained at 21 degrees with lock box to prevent unauthorized tampering. Additional heating available for $20.00 per extra degree of heating per month. You may not use your oven to heat the apartment. If you do, you will be fined $50.00 per occurrence.

• Air conditioning – Maintained at 25 degrees during the summer with lock box to prevent extra cooling from being dispensed. Additional cooling for sale for $20.00 per degree of cooling requested per month.

• 25" Zenith color television set with basic cable service - INCLUDED IN RENT! Cable television service will be shut off at 11:30 p.m. daily.

• Wireless internet (with content filter applied to block forbidden/immoral websites) - INCLUDED IN RENT! Internet service will be shut off at 10:00 p.m. daily.

• Provision of coin laundry services - You will have your own personal coin laundry washer and dryer machines. We think your friends will be jealous of your very own coin laundry machines. Washers and dryers are paid using a token system. Tokens can be purchased through the landlord. Washer tokens cost $5.25 each and dryer tokens cost $3.95 each. Soap will be made available at the cost of $3.20 per wash load, or you may prefer to use your own. You are not allowed to use foreign currency or slugs in the washer and dryer. Violators will be fined $100.00 per infraction.

• Telephone – Local telephone service is included in the rent. Phones are turned on from 7:00 a.m. until 7:00 p.m. daily. Tenants are limited to 2 hours of telephone calling per week, at which point no additional calls will go through. You must use a calling card for long distance calls at your expense, although these calls count towards your two hour weekly allotment. Please note that telephone calls could be and are monitored on a regular basis.

• Bedroll - Upon move in, you will receive a new tenant orientation and bedroll kit, including 1 sheet, 1 blanket, 1 pillow, 1 pillowcase, 1 hygiene kit, 1 towel, 1 facecloth, 1 orange loungesuit, 1 tenant's handbook, and 1 toilet roll. Additional toilet rolls can be purchased through the commissary for $1.95 apiece.

 

About us: (Landlords)

 

We are fundamentalist, conservative, bible believing, God-fearing, born again, evangelical Christians. We interpret the bible literally in every way possible. We live a strict moral code and observe God’s laws in our everyday life. My wife stays at home and teaches our home-schooled children. I work as a pastor at a local congregation and am active in the faith community.

 

About you: (Tenant)

 

• You are employed

• You do not participate in lascivious deviant sexual behavior

• You do not choose fringe alternative lifestyles as your lifestyle

• You do not have any criminal history

• You must have excellent character references

• You do not smoke, drink or take drugs. Mandatory drug screening required.

• Ability to follow directions and correct behavior “shape up or ship out”

 

 

Additional Rules/Conditions:

 

CLEANLINESS: You are responsible for the cleanliness and orderliness of

your apartment. Beds are to be made before leaving your suite,

countertops must be wiped down, and you must remove all trash. Upon

inspection, if the tenant's basement suite is not clean, the cost of

cleaning services plus a fine of $100.00 will be levied.

LIGHTS: The lights in your basement suite and in the day room are not to

be tampered with. If a light needs repair, report the condition to the

Landlord.

WAKE-UP: Wake up will be at 5:30 a.m. each morning. All ceiling lights in

the suite will be turned on automatically. Beds must be made at this time, and no later than 6:00 a.m. daily.

LIGHTS OUT: Ceiling lights in the suite will be turned off at 11:30 p.m. Small desk lamps are permitted for bible reading, etc.

CONTRABAND: The following items are considered contraband – alcohol, illegal drugs, tobacco, weapons, lock picking equipment. If any contraband is discovered to be in your possession, you will be subject to a minimum $1,000.00 fine. In addition, your items will be confiscated permanently. Second offense – you will be evicted without notice. A bailiff will escort you and your belongings off the premises. Your security deposit will not be returned.

SMOKING: The basement suite is non-smoking. Anyone in possession of

tobacco products of any kind or any lighter or matches, will have their

contraband items confiscated and will be fined $1,000.00.

INSPECTIONS: The Landlord will conduct unannounced inspections to ensure

that these rules and regulations are being followed.

VISITATION: Visitation periods will be on Saturdays and Sundays from

1:00 p.m. until 3:00 p.m. All visitors and their vehicles are subject

to search while on landlord property. Refusal to allow a search can

result in their being barred from all future visitation privileges. All

visitors must sign the Visitor's Log. Unauthorized visitors will be

escorted from the property, and the tenant will be fined $250.00.

I.D. BRACELETS: Each tenant will be issued an I.D. bracelet with his/her

photograph. It must be worn at all times. If you lose your I.D.

bracelet or it is broken, you will be required to purchase a new one at

the nominal cost of $6.25.

EXERCISE YARD: The tenant will have access to the exercise yard in the

area to the back of the property for 2 hours per day from 4:00 pm to

6:00 pm. The tenant is not allowed to bring any personal property to

the exercise yard. Once the tenant leaves the exercise yard on a

particular day, he or she may not return. No boisterous behavior is

allowed in the exercise yard. There is no smoking allowed in the

exercise yard. Minimum fine for exercise yard infractions is $50.00.

 

Fake or Not still pretty funny.

Edited December 25, 2008 by Mattones

[Rich Clemens]

Sounds like the daily life of someone in prison.

[Terry]

I think I will implement some of those rules in my next tenants lease LOL

[Greencoachdog]

We are fundamentalist, conservative, bible believing, God-fearing, born again, evangelical Christians. We interpret the bible literally in every way possible. We live a strict moral code and observe God’s laws in our everyday life. My wife stays at home and teaches our home-schooled children. I work as a pastor at a local congregation and am active in the faith community

 

There's your explanation right there.

 

 

Sounds like his name could be Adolph Falwell.

Edited December 25, 2008 by GCD

[Roy]

Sounds like a pretty good candidate for our next G2G.

[Grimace]

That was hilarious

[Grimace]

So Mattones are ya taking the place?

[Nemo]

Sounds like they would make good mods.

[Mattones]

So Mattones are ya taking the place?

 

I am considering on doing a little survivorman thing. You know bring my camera in and record myself in there for a month.

[Whitespinnerbait]

Fake as a Three dollar bill.......

[fishindevil]

Thats too funny !!!LOL..LOL.. its totally fake,it has to be,man i think prison inmates get treated better than that tennant would??? thanks for the laugh...cheers

[irishfield]

Hell.. sounds like my childhood.. shy of the internet access ! lol

[forrest]

Do they charge rent at halfway houses? If so I think this might be some kind of project or survey.

Edited December 25, 2008 by forrest

[NANUK]

"We are fundamentalist, conservative, bible believing, God-fearing, born again, evangelical Christians. We interpret the bible literally in every way possible. We live a strict moral code and observe God’s laws in our everyday life. My wife stays at home and teaches our home-schooled children. I work as a pastor at a local congregation and am active in the faith community"

 

There's your explanation right there.

Sounds like his name could be Adolph Falwell.

 

My thoughts exactly!!!

Edited December 25, 2008 by stonefish

[DRIFTER_016]

There's your explanation right there.

Sounds like his name could be Adolph Falwell.

 

I would move in just so I could see the looks on their faces as I unpack a bunch of Devil Worshipping Paraphernalia!!!!!

[Mattones]

Or bring home a recently shot buck.

[Rich]

Sounds like a cheap horror movie plot waiting to happen! LOL

[hammercarp]

Fake alright but emblamatic of the kind ofr society we have been heading for. There are more and more control freaks and growing acceptance of it. If we keep it up you're going to need three pieces of ID to use a public washroom, just to make sure no one is taking advantage of "the system".

Edited December 25, 2008 by hammercarp

[danbo]

Dang! Federal Prison has more liberties than that commune.. "Count up!"

Edited December 25, 2008 by danbo