Take off from fisherman attacked

[misfish]

There are some comments about BLAME THE PARENTS.

Well let me be the first and Im sure not the last, to say ,the PARENTS,are not always the ones to blame. I for one will not and ever, blame my parents or thier parents for what I ever did.

I was one of those kids just causing poop where ever and when ever. Stole and cheated. Nothing I learn,t from my parents or grandparents caused this. I would steel a bike to get somewhere. I would steel what ever I could,when ever I could. Why, I have no idea why. I never stood with a group,just my own person. For the life of me now, even to this day,I still do not know. I had loving parents,grandparents, that took me to church .Still there was the devil in this little boy. Numerous times I was hauled down to 12 division and my pop was called to come and get me. From what I understand to this day,it pretty much near ,cost him his job. Did I care or know what this meant to him,NO, I was a kid thinking I was having fun.

Later on there was court dates,many. This took time away from my parents life and yes Im sure thier jobs were at stake for this. Still they took the time off and still, I did the devils work. Then it came,my pop said no more,time to teach me a lesson. To keep a long story short,I did time as a juvie visiting different institutions and group homes and spent 6 years away from my parents and family. At age 16, I had made what they called then "COMMUNITY READY" and returned home. When I returned home ,it was a whole new world. I had brothers and a sister that I missed growing up and parents ,that I got to see maybe twice every month.

 

With that bit of info on what I went through,I belevie this is what has to happen to those, that want to carry out these unnessesary crimes. It turns you into a better person and makes you understand what lifes about.

What todays kid do is nothing compared what happened back when. No young offendors act protecting you. You got nabbed, you got busted.

Guess Im one of the few lucky ones, that got taught a lesson and learn,t from it. I see ignorance all the time. I try to preach what happens when I see whats happening,but they dont care and I just think,well guess they need to learn the hardway.

 

So for those that say "BLAME THE PARENTS", it,s not that simple.

 

To this day,I thank my pop for saying,I cant ,Please help.

More parents need to say the same thing.

 

So talk to your kids,tell them it,s not all that . Together maybe,we can prevent what todays kids/teenagers are doing.IT,S GETTING WAY OUT OF HAND.

[e-z-out]

There are some comments about BLAME THE PARENTS.

Well let me be the first and Im sure not the last, to say ,the PARENTS,are not always the ones to blame. I for one will not and ever, blame my parents or thier parents for what I ever did.

I was one of those kids just causing poop where ever and when ever. Stole and cheated. Nothing I learn,t from my parents or grandparents caused this. I would steel a bike to get somewhere. I would steel what ever I could,when ever I could. Why, I have no idea why. I never stood with a group,just my own person. For the life of me now, even to this day,I still do not know. I had loving parents,grandparents, that took me to church .Still there was the devil in this little boy. Numerous times I was hauled down to 12 division and my pop was called to come and get me. From what I understand to this day,it pretty much near ,cost him his job. Did I care or know what this meant to him,NO, I was a kid thinking I was having fun.

Later on there was court dates,many. This took time away from my parents life and yes Im sure thier jobs were at stake for this. Still they took the time off and still, I did the devils work. Then it came,my pop said no more,time to teach me a lesson. To keep a long story short,I did time as a juvie visiting different institutions and group homes and spent 6 years away from my parents and family. At age 16, I had made what they called then "COMMUNITY READY" and returned home. When I returned home ,it was a whole new world. I had brothers and a sister that I missed growing up and parents ,that I got to see maybe twice every month.

 

With that bit of info on what I went through,I belevie this is what has to happen to those, that want to carry out these unnessesary crimes. It turns you into a better person and makes you understand what lifes about.

What todays kid do is nothing compared what happened back when. No young offendors act protecting you. You got nabbed, you got busted.

Guess Im one of the few lucky ones, that got taught a lesson and learn,t from it. I see ignorance all the time. I try to preach what happens when I see whats happening,but they dont care and I just think,well guess they need to learn the hardway.

 

So for those that say "BLAME THE PARENTS", it,s not that simple.

 

To this day,I thank my pop for saying,I cant ,Please help.

More parents need to say the same thing.

 

So talk to your kids,tell them it,s not all that . Together maybe,we can prevent what todays kids/teenagers are doing.IT,S GETTING WAY OUT OF HAND.

 

 

Yes more parents need to ask for help my pop did and look what happend i'm a good father and i became a man.

It's hard for some kids thats all they know since they are never heard so this is the only way to lash out to the world.

If more parents ask for help this wont happen as much.

Edited May 9, 2008 by AILE GOBY

[misfish]

Yes more parents need to ask for help my pop did and look what happend i'm a good father and i became a man.

 

[irishfield]

My parents said "God help us".. does that count Brian ? lol

[brickNblock]

With that bit of info on what I went through,I belevie this is what has to happen to those, that want to carry out these unnessesary crimes. It turns you into a better person and makes you understand what lifes about.

What todays kid do is nothing compared what happened back when. No young offendors act protecting you. You got nabbed, you got busted.

 

More parents need to say the same thing.

 

So talk to your kids,tell them it,s not all that . Together maybe,we can prevent what todays kids/teenagers are doing.IT,S GETTING WAY OUT OF HAND.

 

You couldnt possibly have said it any better Brother...

100% I'm with ya on this one.

[BillM]

I guess the OP didn't fear his parents enough. I can't imagine what would happen to me if I stole something.. Who cares about the cops, I'd be crapping my pants about coming home to my dad. BTW, my dad has never laid a hand on me, but did I fear him? You better believe it.

 

I think kids are a direct reflection of their parents... my opinion I guess.

[KyleM]

All it took for me was a woman.

5000 in lawyer fee's sure helped stay outta trouble aswell.

 

I remember calling into work "Im being held at the OPP station, I cant make it in today"

 

Terrible at the time but Im laughing about how stupid I was now.

[bpsbassman]

I think I was one of the ones you were talking to.

You brought up some very good points Brian.

Edited May 9, 2008 by BPSBASSMAN

[Joey]

A very soul bearing post Brian. I agree with everything you have said. My mother and father were great parents and always there for us. Strict when need be and loving and caring and nurturing the rest of the time, but all 4 of us turned out different, some getting into alot of trouble and some not. How do you explain that

 

Joey

[misfish]

I guess the OP didn't fear his parents enough. I can't imagine what would happen to me if I stole something.. Who cares about the cops, I'd be crapping my pants about coming home to my dad. BTW, my dad has never laid a hand on me, but did I fear him? You better believe it.

 

I think kids are a direct reflection of their parents... my opinion I guess.

 

Each is allowed thier own opinion.

 

With alot of parents working these days,kids have only other peers to look for and they just follow. Im sure alot of them follow and get caught up in the actions and really dont want to,but they also dont want to be the one that gets called the chicken or the next one that gets ganged up on.

 

I got the strap from my pop. It seemed to work for my brothers,but I guess I was the defiant one, I,ll show you atitude.

And yes I did fear the the saying,wait til your father gets home.

[Gerritt]

I was too scared for my life when I was growing up, as I knew the belt was there and I was on the receiving end of it alot.. If I said something the wrong way the belt was there, if I complained I did not like dinner the belt was there, If I came home late from playing with friends the belt was there..

 

I think you get the point I am trying to make....

 

To this day I have never raised a hand to either of my sons, nor do I intend too.. there is no need to beat a child into submission.. Show him love and respect, and in turn that is what you will receive.. Hope that you raised your child well enough to know the difference between right and wrong and keep the lines of communication between you open.. So if he is being pressured into something by his peers he has no fear in talking to you about it..

 

Parents should not beat the people they love and care about.. Having said that words can be even more damaging then physical violence.. Sometimes I would have preferred more beatings instead of the name calling and demeaning dialog at the hands of my Step Dad....

 

 

G

Edited May 9, 2008 by Gerritt

[BITEME]

I dont know what to say its like having a flashback I think what ever happened to good old Knuckles

Fear....when you hear the belt whipping through the loops

And i agree dont blame the parents its a whole different ball game out there these days

 

Great read thanks!!!!!!

 

Peter

[blaque]

Such a grey area.......

 

Theres a percentage of kids that are just straight up punks because their parents are straight up punks. They learn from them.The parents are to blame 100%

 

They may be just missing in their lives all together. Parents are to blame 100% (unless theyve passed away)

 

Theres a percentage that have a mom and dad that may not be punks , may be decent people, but just dont do their job as a parent which ends up leaving the child to choose others to do that job for them.

 

Theres a percentage of parents that have to work to support the family, just no other option which again , leaves the child looking for direction elsewhere.

 

And then theres the loving caring nurturing couple that try everything, invest their lives in raising a child right.......but sometimes a kid is just gonna be who he or she is gonna be. I was raised by two amazing people, they gave me their lives, every day.........always their, i cannnot remember one day in my life that i can look back on and say.......man i wish my mom and dad were there for me. THey did everything right........raised me, my brother and my sister. My older brother was rebelling, getting into trouble, drinking , drugs, by the age of probably 15-16 and i watched my parents try everything to fix teh situation. EVERYTHING....i even remember him trying to pick a fist fight with my father a time or two......just put my dad into tears. and he still has problems to this day.......hes grown up alot, and i Love the guy as my whole family does and always have. But my sister is well rounded, settled, caring, a model citizen, i like to think of myself as the same. All 3 of us raised by the same two amazing people.

 

Point being it is just in some people to be who they are gonna be.........sometimes there isnt much ya can do. No blame to the people that raise them.......and sometimes it is 100% ownership on two idiots that should have kept their zippers up.

[Sinker]

Hey Brian,

 

How's ya gettin on me buddy?

 

I was just like you when I was a youngin. A little rough around the edges, but I was taught RESPECT for people from my parents. Stealing a bike to get home, or causing damage to someone's property, is much different than attacking people in a group with golf clubs and baseball bats. We never did stuff like that! I'm sure you didn't either.

 

When it was "go time" it was fists to cuffs. No weapons involved, and no groups. Just a couple guys "havin atter", and there was always some reason for it. No big deal. You'd come home with a fat lip or a "shiner" and a dent in your ego. We all got over it. My mom would be the one kicking my ass.....the old man, well, he knew what was going on. He always made sure I was kept in line, but knew I was just a kid learning about life. I still feared that man, but he never laid a hand on me. Its called respect.

 

These days, kids are carrying weapons......guns, knives, bats......whatever they can get their hands on......and they're not afraid to use them. I grew up with guns in the house......with ammo fully accessible too. I would never think to use one on a person though........ever!! Hell, I'd be afraid to even touch a gun......and I knew how to use them. I'd get my ass kicked all the way to next tuesday if I ever did!!

 

Something is missing, that's for sure. Whether is the parents or not, I don't know, but its gotta have something to do with it. Kids these days have no repect for anything. Everything is just handed to them.......

 

I know if my kids ever tried to do anything like that, they'd be getting thier asses kicked by "the old man".(me) There is no way they'd ever try anything like that again. And if they did, I'd be the first one to send them to jail!! Just to teach them a lesson. My parents did it to me......and I learned a very valuable lesson!! I never hurt people though......just "raising a little hell" once in a while.

 

Kids will be kids. Its fun to raise a little hell once in a while, we all know that, but when it comes to attacking people with weapons.......something is missing in the parenting I think. No respect for people....or anything for that matter......and no conscience of the damage thier doing. I can't understand how someone can take a baseball bat or golf club to another person, for no real reason? That blows my mind.

 

I hope and pray that I know my kids well enough that I never have to worry about that. I think thats half the problem, the parents of these kids are just happy to have the kids out of their hair, and don't really care what they're up to. Get them a cell phone, a play station, and an Ipod, and the parents have more time to sit on the couch.......I don't think they care enough about the kids to let them know what's right from wrong these days. Maybe the parents still don't know right from wrong? Its gotta start somewhere........all I can do is do my best to keep my kids from going down that road. If they do, I'll be at the fork in the road, to put them back on the right trail!

 

Sinker

[Puckhead]

Heck of a post Brian!

 

I'm of two minds on this, ok, maybe 15 minds...

 

I won't get into everything but I will say that most siblings are different. Same environment, same upbringing, but different. Parents tend to have a style (unfortunately it seems more and more that the Do Nothing style is preferred), and that style can work for all their kids, or more often than not, some of their kids. Not for nothing, because I've been there - but usually the behaviour you describe is a cry for attention. Your parents, although good people, and by no fault of their own by not recognizing it, needed to be much more involved in your day to day life when and before the problems started. Your other siblings did just fine because the parenting style suited them. You shouldn't beat yourself up over it, nor should your parents. It is what it is.

Edited May 9, 2008 by Puckhead

[pikehunter]

I should stay out of this one, but all I have to say is my father had a thick leather belt that came off a German soldier during the war. My butt got to know it very well.

 

Let me just say that if it wasn't for the threat of getting a "Lickin' " it would have been hellish for my parents to control me. A good smack on the rear and I was a good little boy for about a week or 2, then the belt would come out, my father would have it folded in half and "snap" it! The was all it took to keep me in line until I got stupid again.

 

Same as school, I got the strap two separate times, it didn't hurt, but it was the action of good old Mr. Goodwin raising his hand up high over his head then swinging down on the palm of my hand and putting on a big oscar winning performance that I was really going to get it good that did the trick! Do I hate my old public school principal? No! He was a great guy that did look out for his students and knew all of them by name.

[JohnF]

Heck of a post Brian!

 

I'm of two minds on this, ok, maybe 15 minds...

 

I won't get into everything but I will say that most siblings are different. Same environment, same upbringing, but different. Parents tend to have a style (unfortunately it seems more and more that the Do Nothing style is preferred), and that style can work for all their kids, or more often than not, some of their kids. Not for nothing, because I've been there - but usually the behaviour you describe is a cry for attention. Your parents, although good people, and by no fault of their own by not recognizing it, needed to be much more involved in your day to day life when and before the problems started. Your other siblings did just fine because the parenting style suited them. You shouldn't beat yourself up over it, nor should your parents. It is what it is.

 

I think you're right. And forgive me if I sound condescending. My problem is that I'm the victim of my own education. Here's irrefutable evidence that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Between Teacher's College and University psychology courses I've been corrupted.

 

Humour me though, and consider this simple scenario. Dad smokes. In my day growing up all dads smoked. Those same dads told all their kids that smoking was stupid and that they'd tan junior's little behind if he was ever caught smoking. But Dad was Junior's hero in a lot of ways and we all wanted to emulate our heroes so we all tried smoking to be like Dad (and James Dean). When we got caught we got the promised tanning. In the back of our fertile little developing minds and psyches there grew a resentment at the inequity in this behaviour. We probably weren't even aware of it, perhaps didn't realize we actually resented Dad's Dichotomy, that contradiction of "Do as I say, not as I do." so we started acting out this resentment in little secret ways, and then in some not so secret ways so Dad would get the message that we'd caught him in that inconsistency, and that we could be contradictory in our actions, too, just like our hero Dad. So all the while we were thinking we actually respected him and felt bad we were hurting him we continued to punish him for his actions. Now multiply this by all the perceived inequities in our upbringing and you can see how the problem evolves.

 

The human mind is a subtle, mysterious and powerful thing. It makes us do things we don't or can't begin to understand. Perhaps instead of saying "blame the parents" we should just say "Look to the parents first." For all their good intentions they aren't trained psychologists and they're bound to get some things wrong in an area as complicated as shaping young minds. And that doesn't even begin to consider genetics, hormones, chemistry and peer pressure.

 

And modern society isn't much help. Too many bleeding hearts trying to help those they perceive to be disadvantaged when what the "disadvantaged" really needs is a role model and some discipline, not a handout.

 

Being a parent these days is like walking through a minefield. We just tread lightly and hope we miss all the many waiting disasters. The best a parent can do is to be a consistent disciplinarian, provide the best possible role model and hope that our minor warts and moles don't lead our kids astray.

 

Good luck to you young parents today. I've run that gauntlet and come out the other end relatively unscathed, more through good luck than good parenting.

 

JF

[Headhunter]

Many good points there John F... as usual! My Dad's tool of choice, was an old used fan belt he had hanging in the basement. It seemed to be able to solve a lot of his problems pretty quickly !

HH

[doubleheader]

Hi guys, I have to post here. Lots of sound logic from what I've read. here's my 2 cents. Today's values are whacko. In my days growing up you screwed up you learned pretty quickly to take responsibility. Dad took his view of things from 10,000 ft. He had to working two jobs most of his life. Mom worked to, but she was the one that made us tow the line. All 3 of us kids got jobs as soon as we were old enough to work. Today there are a number of families where the kids do whatever the heck they want and the parents never force them to take responsibility. It's always someone elses fault. Our politicians are quick to reinforce these foolish notions, they promise something for nothing in return for votes. They enact legistlation that takes money from our pockets and gives it to the "less fortunate"; many of whom just are too lazy to work and know they don't have to. It creates the perpetual welfare state. Across the street from me is a family of 8 renting what was once a nice home. It's a huge pigpen. As I walked to work today to save gas and get some exercise they piled into there big Ford Expedition and drove past me. i found them parked at the Salvation Army where they are getting a free breakfast. None of them work, they all smoke, their rent is subsidized, they get welfare, they have free medical, they have 3 dogs, they lace the street with profanities everytime they are outside. If it were up to me I'd ride them out of town on a rail. The truth is we all have compassion for those that need a helping hand, but our money is being wasted by those that just want something for nothing. The mortage crisis today would never have happened in our parents generation. A large majority of people are simply walking away from their responsibility not because they can't pay the mortgage but because they owe more than the value of the home. They won't take responsibility. Makes me ill.

[bushart]

I hear ya Doubleheader---that's why as soon as both my kids hit 16 they had part time jobs.

 

They still need a few lessons on money mgmt but they're learning you have to earn what comes in this life--be it cash-spouses-or even fish.

 

My 2cents on the kids thing today is parents need to be involved in the direction they're taking--and if it's not right it's THE PARENTS DUTY to make it right or find any avenue that will.

 

I'll share a little phrase my father told me and it's stuck with me all my life "Tell Me Who Your Friends Are & I'll tell You Who You Are"

 

Growing up my close circle of friends were driven to achieve a better life and that friendly competition between us has made us all better.

 

Where is my step stool. ---Whoa there high horse

[Puckhead]

I think you're right. And forgive me if I sound condescending. My problem is that I'm the victim of my own education. Here's irrefutable evidence that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Between Teacher's College and University psychology courses I've been corrupted.

 

Humour me though, and consider this simple scenario. Dad smokes. In my day growing up all dads smoked. Those same dads told all their kids that smoking was stupid and that they'd tan junior's little behind if he was ever caught smoking. But Dad was Junior's hero in a lot of ways and we all wanted to emulate our heroes so we all tried smoking to be like Dad (and James Dean). When we got caught we got the promised tanning. In the back of our fertile little developing minds and psyches there grew a resentment at the inequity in this behaviour. We probably weren't even aware of it, perhaps didn't realize we actually resented Dad's Dichotomy, that contradiction of "Do as I say, not as I do." so we started acting out this resentment in little secret ways, and then in some not so secret ways so Dad would get the message that we'd caught him in that inconsistency, and that we could be contradictory in our actions, too, just like our hero Dad. So all the while we were thinking we actually respected him and felt bad we were hurting him we continued to punish him for his actions. Now multiply this by all the perceived inequities in our upbringing and you can see how the problem evolves.

 

The human mind is a subtle, mysterious and powerful thing. It makes us do things we don't or can't begin to understand. Perhaps instead of saying "blame the parents" we should just say "Look to the parents first." For all their good intentions they aren't trained psychologists and they're bound to get some things wrong in an area as complicated as shaping young minds. And that doesn't even begin to consider genetics, hormones, chemistry and peer pressure.

 

And modern society isn't much help. Too many bleeding hearts trying to help those they perceive to be disadvantaged when what the "disadvantaged" really needs is a role model and some discipline, not a handout.

 

Being a parent these days is like walking through a minefield. We just tread lightly and hope we miss all the many waiting disasters. The best a parent can do is to be a consistent disciplinarian, provide the best possible role model and hope that our minor warts and moles don't lead our kids astray.

 

Good luck to you young parents today. I've run that gauntlet and come out the other end relatively unscathed, more through good luck than good parenting.

 

JF

 

Asked and answered! (re: Dad's smoking contradiction)

 

And I would agree with you 100% on your entire post. I hope by the time my kids are fully grown I can say the same.... Hope being the key word!

 

Chris Rock, that empitome of philosophy , said it well when it came to raising daughters (no boys in my house...): "Your job as a Dad is to keep your girls off the brass pole!" That about sums it up for me...

[wkrp]

This is why it is so important for all of us to take our kids fishing.

[misfish]

This is why it is so important for all of us to take our kids fishing.

 

LOL,We fished alot.

When I returned home,I spent 2 summers biking(yes my own) to Heart lake during my summer holidays (everyday) Sun up til sun down. This kept me out of most troubles. Fishing and that roller skating thing on Friday nights.LOL

 

I was just like you when I was a youngin. A little rough around the edges, but I was taught RESPECT for people from my parents. Stealing a bike to get home, or causing damage to someone's property, is much different than attacking people in a group with golf clubs and baseball bats. We never did stuff like that! I'm sure you didn't either.

 

I think you hit there,RESPECT. And no I didnt.

 

Thanks all for your comments. Lots of good input with different perspectives,and it never got locked down,yet.

I was hoping to hear from the side of the law and order,back then and know.

[Canuck2fan]

Lets remember here folks that London is the same town where an 11 yr old was stealing cars at the rate of one a week for weeks on end. When the police would pick him up and then take him home, his parents would BEG them to do something to the kid. Since he was only 11 and therefore could NOT be dealt with under the law the police would have to release him to the parents. At the same time they would tell the parents you can't do what needs to be done either because from the time this kid could talk in school it was hammered into him, what the rules are and if anybody touches you, you call the Children's Aid on them.... OH and by the way the kid would say to the cops as they were getting in their car See ya next week fellas.... Funny thing though the kid was too young to be charged with anything because he was "unaware" of what he was doing under the law knew enough to make sure he didn't steal any cars after he turned twelve!!!!! When he would have to face some consequences. That to me shows that all along the little tyke knew what he was doing was wrong?

 

I think a lot parents get into trouble with kids that want to do what they want to do these days because too much time is spent in school explaining to them what their "rights" are. Nobody ever tells them what some of their responsibilities are....

 

Oh another note about rights what is really scary is if you happen to have a child in a class with one of those cretins. You and your child DO NOT have the right to know that some psycho is sitting right behind them.... That is so wrong and unfair IMHO yet we can't get our elected officials to change things to reflect that the "innocent" kids of today deserve protection too, but somehow they don't rate.

Edited May 9, 2008 by Canuck2fan