solopaddler Posted June 27, 2007 Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 (edited) Several years back while soloing in Quetico I approached a perfect island campsite on Kawnipi Lake and decided to pull in and set up camp as it was getting late. While unloading my gear this angry little psycho red squirrel with a black slash on his forehead raced around me excitedly, chattering and shrieking like he was rabid (obviously I was on his turf!). Anyhow, after awhile he left and I went about my business. A little while later I had a fire going and was about to start eating a potful of rice when out of the corner of my eye I spotted the little demon seed sitting on the log next to me mesmerized by my rice. Very, very slowly I grabbed the pot lid in my right hand and held it poised above the pot which was resting on my knees. It took a looong time, probably 15mins of sitting motionless like that, but finally the little bugger hopped into my pot and started gobbling up my dinner. I quickly slammed the lid down to capture the demon and all hell broke loose! He was scrabbling at the pot trying to get out while making these weird gurgling noises. Well, as much as he was bugging me I didn't want to kill the little guy, I just wanted him to get lost. I looked around and noticed a tiny rockpile in the lake about 400yds from the island. Aha! I thought, Alcatraz it is for the little beggar! I put the still shrieking squirrel into my canoe and pushed off for the rockpile. Upon arriving, I VERY carefully placed the pot on the rocks, then leaned way over with the paddle, completely unbalanced, and flipped the pot lid off with the tip of the paddle. What happened next is kind of a blur it happened so fast. In my minds eye I see the squirrel shoot straight up in the air about 3 feet, do a 360 to see where he is, then shrieking, he launched himself horizontally right at my face. He was like the Chuck Norris of squirrels. All 4 of the demons little claws sank into my face drawing blood . I freaked and capsized my canoe into the lake. The demon squirrel springboarded off my face and hit the water like he had an outboard in his butt making a beeline back to his island. Squirrels are REALLY good swimmers, who knew? All I could do was laugh. I gathered my wits (and canoe) and made my way back to the island. Thankfully the demon squirrel seemed to be in hiding and the ordeal was over. (or so I thought!) The next morning I packed up early as I wanted to get going. The canoe was loaded and I was just finishing my morning oatmeal when, you guessed it, I spied the demon squirrel about 2 feet to my right staring intently at my pot of oatmeal. I knew it was the same beast 'cause of the distinctive black slash on his forehead (sign of the beast?) This time it took at least 1/2 an hour...my arm was getting REALLY tired holding the pot lid in the air motionless. Finally, his hunger overcame his fear and he tentatively hopped in. I slammed the lid down on him with a vengeance!. The bizarre, otherworldly noises that came from that pot sent chills down my spine. Without really thinking, just reacting, I grabbed the pot and started to shake it as hard as I could (sorry squirell lovers, don't condemn me 'till you've walked a mile in my shoes). I shook that pot 'till my arms were sore then threw it down on the ground. Amazingly the demon landed on his feet, standing upright. His eyes were closed though, and he was wobbling around like a drunk. I grabbed my pot, thinking, huh, that'll teach ya!. I was still watching the beast as I turned to my canoe, when suddenly the wobbling stopped, his beady eyes snapped open clear and bright and full of hate! He let out a blood curdling shriek and launched himself at my leg! If any of you remember the killer bunny rabbit from Monty Python and The Holy Grail, well this was pretty similar. Frantically I tried to get to my canoe and safety as the creature attacked. He latched himself onto the cuff of my pants as I ran to my boat. Realizing he was attached to me I kicked my leg out and he flew off (I could have split the uprights at 60yds with that shot). I made it to my boat and pushed off, finally escaping the beasts wrath. By far my most memorable wildlife encounter! Edited October 31, 2012 by Mike Borger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dano Posted June 27, 2007 Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 Classic!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACKFISH88 Posted June 27, 2007 Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 Hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joonmoon Posted June 27, 2007 Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 And all he wanted was some company to share dinner/breakfast with....poor little squirrel...lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fishnfiend Posted June 27, 2007 Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 Funny story! Thanks for the chuckle. Gee, do you think that someone has fed him (and possibly other wildlife in that area) before? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccmtcanada Posted June 27, 2007 Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 LOL...that is too funny!!! Wonder if that squirrel saw Caddyshack?? Maybe he's related to it!!! Priceless story...you didn't feel like squirrel stew I assume.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solopaddler Posted June 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 Gee, do you think that someone has fed him (and possibly other wildlife in that area) before? Very unlikely, the island I camped on had no established campsite. I had to hack one out of the bush.. Red squirrels are just aggressive by nature, and this one in all likliehood had never seen a human before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solopaddler Posted June 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 Priceless story...you didn't feel like squirrel stew I assume.... Yech, no way! Ask me about roast groundhog though, it can be quite tasty! In fact one time......aww never mind, better not go there . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishindevil Posted June 27, 2007 Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 well now i have heard it all....lol..lol..lol dam squirel,bring out the rocket launcher. ...thanks for the interesting read,very funny cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DebS Posted June 27, 2007 Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 That's hilarious! What a whacked-out squirrel. Any plans for a repeat visit to that island???? I can't wait to hear the next chapter in this story! Thanks for the laugh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clampet Posted June 27, 2007 Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 That is nuts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motorhead Posted June 27, 2007 Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 Now that was a funny read!!!! Would have been something to see for sure... thanks for the laugh Doug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Cliff Posted June 27, 2007 Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 You just have to submit that one to Readers Digest. It is just too funny not to share! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinman Posted June 27, 2007 Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 That was awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike the Pike Posted June 28, 2007 Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 Great Story .So how do you get along with the Squirrels near your cottage.So your fast with that pot.I can hear the music now from an old Clint Eastwood western GONG MTP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemo Posted June 28, 2007 Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 I can believe it... nother true story me and a bud pulled up to an island campsite in APP for a lunch break. Pulled out the day pack hung it in a tree and had a quick lunch and relaxed a bit. After a half hour or so we prepared to shove off. My bud is in bow and I in stern. Just before he jumps in he grabs his pack and tosses it in the canoe and takes his seat. Not 2 seconds later all hell breaks loose in the pack and out shoots Mr Squirrel. He does about 8 laps round the inside of the canoe and can't figure how to get out. We are wobbling around trying to keep our balance when all of a sudden the squirrel heads up the biggest tree he can find (my buddy in the front seat) and does a couple laps around his head. My buddy is flailing his arm trying to knock it off while I try to keep us upright. Finally the squirrel spies his island and does a perfect swan dive into the lake and swims like a fish back to shore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solopaddler Posted June 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 I can believe it... nother true story me and a bud pulled up to an island campsite in APP for a lunch break. Pulled out the day pack hung it in a tree and had a quick lunch and relaxed a bit. After a half hour or so we prepared to shove off. My bud is in bow and I in stern. Just before he jumps in he grabs his pack and tosses it in the canoe and takes his seat. Not 2 seconds later all hell breaks loose in the pack and out shoots Mr Squirrel. He does about 8 laps round the inside of the canoe and can't figure how to get out. We are wobbling around trying to keep our balance when all of a sudden the squirrel heads up the biggest tree he can find (my buddy in the front seat) and does a couple laps around his head. My buddy is flailing his arm trying to knock it off while I try to keep us upright. Finally the squirrel spies his island and does a perfect swan dive into the lake and swims like a fish back to shore. Sounds eerily familiar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whopper Posted June 28, 2007 Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 Funny stuff Mike I needed a good laugh this morning. Who'd a thunk a squirrel... just glad it wasn't a bear Whopper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tacklebuster Posted June 28, 2007 Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 (edited) These squirrel stories are helarious, thanks for the laugh. Edited June 28, 2007 by Tackle Buster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wallyboss Posted June 28, 2007 Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 HUMMM New live bait setup Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fly Me In Scotty Posted June 28, 2007 Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 Great stories. Laughing aloud at my desk! Thx, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kickingfrog Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 Missed this classic from 2007. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercman Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 yer nuts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northernpike56 Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 (edited) lol Edited February 19, 2013 by northernpike5391 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FishTracker Posted October 31, 2012 Report Share Posted October 31, 2012 Great story, Mike! I think it should have travelled around with you on all your adventures, similar to the Travelocity gnome. Lol. Those would be some great shots and even better stories I'm sure! Thanks for sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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