snag Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 (edited) I have Laridaphobia If you don't know what it is, you soon will. It all started when I was a wee lad. First, they seemed friendly. (as seen here with my mom, happily feeding) Then one day with my Dad, they turned on me I've been consumed with fear ever since Don't laugh. Other members here have the same Phobia. We have a support group. Here's GCD when he was a lad. (circa 1932) Here's CCMT when he was a young lad(?). Pigeons are his thing. Carole says his night screams are brutal and she can't cook with breadcrumbs anymore. I understand Cliffy. This is my nocturnal nightmare messenger from hell The Plan So I look up some therapists in the phone book and find a radical Master who uses extreme techniques to conquer your worst fear by combining it with your greatest passion. Well obviously mine is fishing! Under the guidance of my Master I will strive to abolish this debilitating fear First day of training involved a symbolic consumption of my Nemesis's spirit. He made me eat them all. Then it's off to the war zone. I fell to my knees but got back up again determined to beat this thing People need signs like this?? Wake up before it's too late. Where are they? I asked the master Master says to look for the fat ladies who chum the waters Or the old ladies who will use children as bait (sickening) But Master had a friend who was a conjurer or a Seagull Siren, if you will. FreakyFingersFreida She brought our Nemesis closer Then out of the heavens or up from HELL they came!! Master sees a flock of seagulls approaching! Sorry wrong ones, here they are Master quickly pulls out his rod, First cast and Master screams, "BIRD-ON!!" It's putting up a fight but the Master pulls in his prey Closer, my precious Master calms the winged beast with an ancient cross-handed-tiger-style grip. He removes the bait like a Zen vet He then reveals to the captive the tool of it's demise Master is happy because he sees the fear in my eyes melt away He has broken down my walls Our prey has been warned and released to inform the others of their peril shall they decide to pursue us in the future. ONE YEAR LATER I am doing much better. I got a tattoo to celebrate 1 year of fearlessness I can read and fall asleep peacefully In fact, here is a little gem I caught this year all by myself Though, I am not quite as forgiving as my Master Conquer your fears. You can do it, Yes you can. S. Edited January 9, 2009 by SNAG
fishermccann Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 What a great read , thanks for posting. Glad your intervention went well .
bassman Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 Hilarious!!! I experienced the same thing while fishing the shores of Port Colborne a few years back. We had to walk through the nest of thousands of seagulls to get to our spot. Your post brought back some memories.
Terry Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 well, I am not invisible however I too suffer from Laridaphobia and not only seagulls.. anyway that was funny you have way too much time on your hands
douG Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 Vintage Snag. Great stuff, but I gotta say that you are one strange child. I'm just not sure you're healthy.
EC1 Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 i love that tattoo! and that feeding with the mouth picture is pretty crazy.
ozaibak1 Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 VERY funny post, one of the funniest i've ever read on here!
Beats Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 Cool post. Very original to say the least.
Leecher Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 Thanks Snag for the great read another stellar Leechman
Whitespinnerbait Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 Well it was a good read until I got to the part where you weren't praticing Catch and Release
tbayboy Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 Always count on Snag for a great story to make me laugh. Not that Laridaphobia is a laughing matter of course
misfish Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 Very funny read. Whats that side dish in the last pic?
drwxr Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 hahaha, that was so funny... pics speak for themselves as always. btw snag when it gets warmer try
limeyangler Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 SNAG....please ,please,please lend me the prism through which you view the world.... once again the King of Original Posts strikes again LOVE IT Keep 'em coming!
highdrifter Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 Excellent. I believe in you Grant.. Unfortunately, I overlooked the fact that you might get a taste for herring gull.. I know they're finger licking good, but Master says no more smeagulls.. Sweet realease shot. Fly John Livingston seagull.. FLY!! LOL Budday. That was a hoot!
Greencoachdog Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 They cam smell your fear! They will seek you out!!! If I hadn't had my mouth open... he'd have pooped in my eye!!! If you ever post another pic of my hellish childhood again... This old man will stomp a mudhole in your ... and walk it dry!!! Thanks for the report -hole!
ccmtcanada Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
crappieperchhunter Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 I've been waiting for a post from you. AHHHHHH ...I've had my New Year's fix now. Should be good for a couple weeks now...before the twitching and drooling starts again!
ccmtcanada Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 Ok...now that the original shock is over (thanks snag for bringing back that horrifying childhood memory), I thought I'd respond. Birds have destroyed more than a few fishing trips for me... One time I was shore fishing...I looked behind and like ferocious Velociraptor, they snuck on me...surrounded me....and I had nowhere to go but to jump in the water!!! Little did I know that these guys were adept at swimming. Luckily the coast guard was close by to save the day..they found me a kilometer from shore. Then there was the time Fishnsled took me fishing. I got out of the car at sunrise...stretched, took a look around and saw this terrifying sight...I spent the rest of the day in the fetal position with the muskie cradle over my head mumbling "If I cant see them, they cant see me...." Then, although with best intentions, Big Cliff and my little one shows me how harmless they can be. Sure...they were ok, but I sure miss my dog. I'm not 100% convinced those things had nothing to do with it.....
mepps Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 When I fished in Mexico I think we caught more birds then fish - great report Grant!
crappieperchhunter Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 Did anyone else see the albino pidgeon in Cliff's last post?
JEREMY Posted January 9, 2009 Report Posted January 9, 2009 I think i will be laughing about this for a few days.Thanx for the chuckle.
Moosebunk Posted January 10, 2009 Report Posted January 10, 2009 Vintage Snag. Great stuff, but I gotta say that you are one strange child. I'm just not sure you're healthy. I'm with Doug. Great shhhtuff ya nutbar. Here's a pic of my enemy... evil bugger!
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now