Roy Posted June 8, 2007 Report Posted June 8, 2007 "Well, you see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it’s the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.” classic
Zib Posted June 8, 2007 Report Posted June 8, 2007 When my 5 year old tells me that something isn't fair...I say/half sing..... "You dont always get what you want....you dont always get what you want....But if you try sometimes you might find You get what you need" She looks at me like I'm from another planet....LOL That's funny. I do the same thing with my 5 & 7 year olds.
muddler Posted June 8, 2007 Report Posted June 8, 2007 My Favourite. Ignorance can be fixed, but stupidity is forever.
Deano Posted June 8, 2007 Report Posted June 8, 2007 I've always liked to keep it simple, one word ENJOY
keram Posted June 8, 2007 Report Posted June 8, 2007 In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. Thanks Roy for scienific explanation. Now I know why I like like an "idiot" ( mostly do not want to go to work) in the morning , but in the evening completely different story ( like they say" sky is the limit " :thumbsup_anim:
brkygetr Posted June 8, 2007 Report Posted June 8, 2007 "Love the life you live Live the life you love Cause after life There's death....." (unknown) Brkygetr
Terry Posted June 8, 2007 Report Posted June 8, 2007 and some GUMPisms stupid is a stupid does MOMMA ALWAYS SAID: "Theres an awful lot you can tell 'bout a person by their shoes" --- "Where they goin' , Where they been" "I've worn lots of shoes" "There is only so much fortune a man really needs - and the rest is for showin' off" "Life is like a box of chocolates, Forrest. You never know what you're gonna get"
rickster Posted June 8, 2007 Report Posted June 8, 2007 Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
largemouth Posted June 8, 2007 Report Posted June 8, 2007 "Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment" "Just remember........if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off"
irishfield Posted June 8, 2007 Report Posted June 8, 2007 "Drunk, fat and stupid, is no way to go through life son"!HH Your Dad too Joe? LOL
Beans Posted June 8, 2007 Report Posted June 8, 2007 Words of wisdom ? hmmmm Wisdom is knowledge...put to good use... Things don't alway go the way we think they should...When we learn to accept that fact...Life gets much easier... Happiness is ...wanting what we have ...not...having what we want... And my dear old dad's for me "You would be bad luck to a good hunting dog"...nice guy eh?
Wes Bender Posted June 8, 2007 Report Posted June 8, 2007 Some real gems here Beans "You would be bad luck to a good hunting dog" That is an instant classic Largemouth "always marry a girl with small hands" That is seriously funny.
gussser Posted June 8, 2007 Report Posted June 8, 2007 A man is almost always out smarted by a fish with a brain the size of a grain of rice.
keram Posted June 8, 2007 Report Posted June 8, 2007 Largemouth"always marry a girl with small hands" That is seriously funny. No it is not funny I enjoy it for about 35 years :clapping:
danbo Posted June 8, 2007 Author Report Posted June 8, 2007 Enjoy life,never give-up,Trust in God & follow your Bliss. (My motto)
Jigger Posted June 8, 2007 Report Posted June 8, 2007 I got a good one from a fortune cookie the other day. A plan without action is nothing but a dream...
Greencoachdog Posted June 8, 2007 Report Posted June 8, 2007 I'm feelin' finer than frog hairs split four ways! Ya ain't got a hair on yer ass if ya don't... You'd rather sandpaper a Wildcats butt in a Telephone booth than mess with me today!
muskymatt Posted June 8, 2007 Report Posted June 8, 2007 Jesus loves you---everyone else thinks your an as$
ChrisK Posted June 8, 2007 Report Posted June 8, 2007 Its hard to sore like an eagle when you fly amongst turkeys....
motv8tr Posted June 8, 2007 Report Posted June 8, 2007 Beans "You would be bad luck to a good hunting dog" Geez Norm, that's what you always say to me... One of my favorites is "Nothing is remembered so well as good manners" along with the one as my signature. Maureen
Tybo Posted June 9, 2007 Report Posted June 9, 2007 (edited) - Is it faster to Banff or by bus? - When a woman is PMSing, instead of "have a happy period" on the side of the Kotex box, it should say "put the hammer down" or "vehicular manslaughter is wrong." - Someone on here also had a funny saying, I can't remember who, but I do remember the saying.. "Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes, that way you are far enough away from him, and you have his shoes." Joey Oops, geez I look funny tonight. Dang giving Paul more post counts Edited June 9, 2007 by Tybo
danbo Posted June 9, 2007 Author Report Posted June 9, 2007 If a frog had wings..he wouldn't hafta flop around on his butt, would he?!
Greencoachdog Posted June 9, 2007 Report Posted June 9, 2007 tiz far better to want something you don't have than to have something you don't want!
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