Stoty Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Hey everyone, My wife and I are growing apart and want different things in the future, so we are considering a separation. If anyone has gone through (or is going through) a separation in Ontario recently can you please PM me. Much appreciated, *Stoty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Johnny Bass Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Sorry to hear that Stoty.... Marriage and fishing are a tough mix if your wife doesn't enjoy fishing as much as you. You have to either compromise or part ways.... With fishing and hockey, you probably aren't spending enough time with each other.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bullybass Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Sorry to hear Stoty... all I can say is that you should treat each other with respect and remember that you did love each other at one time. If you can remain civil with her all the better. Good Luck!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stoty Posted June 10, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Country boy, city girl...... Opposites attract at the start......but seem to repel as time goes on. Nothing is for sure yet, maybe we can work things out...but without having much common ground, its difficult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musky or Specks Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Fishing was one of the causes of my divorce. My first bit of advice for you is get a lawyer. A lot of people I know hesitated in doing this and it cost them. The sad truth is if its reached this point your relationship as you knew it is over. Theres a small chance something new might start but its very small. I hope there is no children involved its hardest on them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stoty Posted June 10, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 No children, no joint bank account, no joint anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musky or Specks Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Then it should be relatively painless( all divorces are emotionally devastating) Your both relatively young lots of time left in your lives to find happiness again, best get started down that path now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stoty Posted June 10, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Ya, thats exactly what we are thinking. We dont have any hard feelings towards each other, its just not working. I am just trying to find out about a "Separation Agreement" that I keep reading about. Has anyone made one of these themselves? The more we figure out BEFORE a lawyer, the better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danbo Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Sorry bro, I'm an expert at this. If it aint working you gotta move on. Life is just one chapter after another. No matter what, try to stay friends & just welcome the future apart. Change is the only constant in life. Stay away from the blame game. Grieve the loss, eventually you will accept it & forgive her & yourself. Troubles come & pass. Take care of YOURSELF first. You deserve it & I guarantee better days are coming for you. Sincerely, Dan Reid P.S. Go Wings Go!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musky or Specks Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Ya, thats exactly what we are thinking.We dont have any hard feelings towards each other, its just not working. I am just trying to find out about a "Separation Agreement" that I keep reading about. Has anyone made one of these themselves? The more we figure out BEFORE a lawyer, the better! My ex-wife and I worked out most stuff before hand ourselves. You can actually hire one lawyer to represent both of you and pump out the legal document. But get started before any animosity does get going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reef Runner Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Bombshell, that sux dude. At the chance it may work out, or not, I wish you all the best in the times ahead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lookinforwalleye Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 I don`t mean to be a arse or anything and I certainly wish you the best of luck going forward but it seems to me that the younger crowd today do not seem to understand the meaning of commitment it seems now a days at the first sign of trouble it`s chuck farley I`m outta here. In my own little circle recently I have witnessed a marrige end in divorce after 3 months and my sons long term relationship end in disaster shortly after they decided to move in together. The stats suggest that the younger crowds divorce rate is almost 1 in 2 which is staggering. Like I said I am not trying to be cruel here and I wish you the best going forward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daplumma Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Dont know how it is up there but if you can get a mediator to do up the agreement then the lawyers will get less of your money.Glad there are no kids involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stoty Posted June 10, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 I know the meaning of commitment. But I also know its not fair for either person to be unhappy for the next 50 years either. We have tried to work out the issues we are having, with minimal success. Like I said, nothing is for sure and I hope we can find a way to work things out, I am just seeking advice if it comes to that. Not knowing the meaning of commitment has nothing to do with our situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musky or Specks Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Dont be bothered Stoty. Its not your fault or your wifes fault. It just didnt work and society not younger folk is just way more accepting of divorce now than it was 20 years ago. Divorce is now just as acceptable as breaking up with your highschool sweetheart. I think the biggest problem with marraige is most of us arent aware of just how BIG a commitment it is before we enter it. In order for marraige to be a success both people have to make that marraige their number 1 priority on a day to day basis. As a reverend once explained it in a service I attented it is a leaving and a beginning. Every thing in life before hand must be left behind and become secondary to the marraige. If you cant do that you shouldnt get married. Funny but that service was for my old steelheading buddies marraige and sure enough 4 years later divorce by fishing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbuck Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 A client who is in the process of getting divorced after 25+ years of marriage had 4 words of wisdom when it comes to marriage............BE TRUE TO YOURSELF. I wish you the best of luck but this sounds like it was doomed from the start, if the two of you did not have anything registered as joint, I don't know what to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisK Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Stoty, Without sounding like Dr. Phil I'm going to share some advise with you and the others here. I have a little expereince in this area so please don't get me wrong,I'm not preaching... I think everyone here has the wrong "C" word in mind....The word you are looking for is "comprimise" Alot of great relationships are due to "comprimise". Its ok to want different things even perhaps going in different directions to get them but both parties have to realise in order to get a little you have to be willing to give a little. Give eachother some breathing room...Make special arrangments so you both get some happy time without taking advantage of the others space. If you truly love eachother this will bring you closer together and you will enjoy the time you spend with eachother more than ever....Young relationships need time to blossom and sometimes this means establishing boundries wether it be your fishing hobbies or her outings with the girls or whatever. Good luck !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Bob Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Remember one thing "it's cheaper to keep her". Good Luck, Bob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinker Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Remember one thing "it's cheaper to keep her". Good Luck, Bob That's the worste advice I've read on here. There is no price on happiness. If your not happy, get out now. Its easier to get it over with sooner than later. You'll get over it, and you'll both be happier. To keep her around and be unhappy for years to come is just nonsense, and what a coward would do!! Sinker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greencoachdog Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 That's the worste advice I've read on here. There is no price on happiness. If your not happy, get out now. Its easier to get it over with sooner than later. You'll get over it, and you'll both be happier. To keep her around and be unhappy for years to come is just nonsense, and what a coward would do!! Sinker I agree Sinker! An uncontested divorce without joint properties should be relatively cheap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Cliff Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Been there, done that although it was 27 years ago. It was very hard at the time but we kept civil and as others have said, you did love each other once. Ours was a little more complicated, we had two children but I guess we did ok, today my ex and my wife are friendly, my kids love Sue as much as if she was their biological mother, and both my ex and I have a lot of respect and love for each other and I think it could be said we are good friends. The most important thing is that if you aren't happy, DO SOMETHING about it, life is far too short to waste a single day being un happy if you don't have to be. Now, time to take this off the net, if you would like to talk, I'm here 705-328-0750. Big Cliff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clampet Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 "They will never forget you 'till somebody new comes along". .. The Eagles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danc Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 I'm sure that many of us have been through this Stoty, myself included. There's been some good advice offered here. It's going on 20 years since I went through it. Things have changed since then as far as the law goes. The only advice I can offer has already been said. Try to be friends through all of this. The more that you disagree, the more it will cost. Good luck to you Bud... Life goes on. Believe me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarzan's Jane Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 My ex went on-line and found a separation agreement. He used that as a starting point and went to a lawyer afterwards. We shared the legal costs. If need be and you are not able to locate the agreement via internet...PM me and I will ask my ex. Whatever happens...I wish you both the best. Just know that there is an adjustment period...it does take time to get the 'cob webs' out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stoty Posted June 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Thanks for your replies and advice everyone. Its going to be a tough go for me, whichever way it works out. And just to top things off, I got a call tonight that my moms breast cancer has returned, and if anyone knows anything about breast cancer, they know that if it comes back its not curable. The doctor estimates her to have 2 yrs at most left. She is 49 yrs old. I could REALLY use Bass Opener right about now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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