DT10Sam Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.' The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.' God replied, 'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help man kind.' The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy. God replied: 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 That's right Sam, we are a complicated species. Never forget that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbuck Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 GOOD ONE!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harrison Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 Ha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adolson Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beginner Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 still funny even though I read it before... lolz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spiel Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 Hi Sam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SylvanOwner Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 While we're at it.... WEST VIRGINIA BOYS A good ole West Virginia boy won a bass boat in a raffle drawing. He brought it home and his wife looks at him and says, "What you gonna do with that. There ain't no water deep enough to float a boat within 100 miles of here." He says, "I won it and I'm a-gonna keep it." His brother came over to visit several days later. He sees the wife and asks where his brother is. She says, "He's out there in his bass boat", pointing to the field behind the house. The brother heads out behind the house and sees his brother sitting in a bass boat with a fishing rod in his hand down in the middle of a big field. He yells out to him, "What are you doin'?" His brother replies, "I'm fishin'. What does it look like I'm a doin'?" His brother yells, "It's people like you that give people from West Virginia a bad name, makin' everybody think we're stupid. If I could swim, I'd come out there and whip your ars!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigdritchie Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beginner Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 lolz ha ha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
otter649 Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get; so she grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, 'Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?' He says, 'Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.' She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, 'That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. Test line. It's a good all around combination and it's on sale this week for only $20.00. 'It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter', she says. "I'll take it!' As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. 'Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,' he says. She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. The clerk rings up the sale and says, 'That'll be $34.50 please.' The woman is totally confused and says, 'Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?' He says, 'Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Bear Repellent is $3.50.’ . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DT10Sam Posted August 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 That's right Sam, we are a complicated species. Never forget that Hi Joey I'm reminded all the time by Laurie and that ladies are indeed complicated species, I let her always have her own way if it doesn't hurt me lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irishfield Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 Hi Joey I'm reminded all the time by Laurie and that ladies are indeed complicated species, I let her always have her own way if it doesn't hurt me lol. You should live a little Sam... sometimes it's even better when it hurts a little.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HTHM Posted August 6, 2011 Report Share Posted August 6, 2011 There are three sure things in life: Death, Taxes and retribution from a P.O'ed woman. It is best if it doesn't hurt... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icedude Posted August 6, 2011 Report Share Posted August 6, 2011 Classic! Well Done ID1 Perfect! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJQ Posted August 6, 2011 Report Share Posted August 6, 2011 LOL.. nice sam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jim Posted August 6, 2011 Report Share Posted August 6, 2011 I bow to you Craig; You da man!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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