DRIFTER_016 Posted November 21, 2015 Report Share Posted November 21, 2015 A growing number of GTA parents are conflicted about how to broach the subject of the Toronto Maple Leafs with their children. The Leafs got off to their worst start in 25 years, winning just two of their first 14 games. Now, having only lost one of their last eight games in regular time, the Leafs are giving fans that slither of hope that they will so cruely rip from your grasp later in the season. Toronto's long-term exposure to what experts are calling "just real bad hockey" is taking its toll. Children who watch the Leafs regularly experience an overall drop in their happiness levels, with many exhibiting symptoms of nihilism and the "all-the-time-sad". And when parents confront their kids about their poor grades, many are met with, "I'm not failing, I'm just losing the right way," a quote they attribute to coach Mike Babcock. A recent report out of Ryerson confirmed that watching the Leafs for an hour a week had detrimental effects on a child’s overall wellbeing. The report explains, “Research has shown that when a child is shown footage of the Toronto Maple Leafs the same areas of the child's brain light up as when we showed them a dramatization of a puppy being sucked up into a propeller engine.” Child psychologist Dr. Jack Storey offers these pointers to parents: 1. Emphasize it’s not their fault Kids who turn on a Leafs game without supervision will often become confused when they see the puck fly so relentlessly into the Leafs’ net over and over and over again. They will internalize the negative feelings this conjures. It is important to hug them and calmly explain, “No sweetheart. This isn’t your fault. It’s Burke and Ferguson and Nonis and Shanahan’s fault. And Phaneuf’s a little bit, too.” 2. Help build your child's self-esteem Watching the Leafs on a regular basis can erode your child's self-confidence and even cause depression. Try to encourage them to make healthier decisions with their free time, such as reading, playing outside, or watching the Montreal Canadiens. 3. Look for “teachable moments” When the Leafs falter, take a moment to explain what went wrong and what the Leafs could’ve done to avoid the mistake. Take a moment to get down to their eye level and firmly tell them, “Phaneuf is too slow to have pinched there,” or “Jon Bernier doesn’t know who Nelson Mandela is because he’s a big dumb idiot.” 4. Monitor their social networking Tell them that punctuating their tweets with #LeafsNation or #Phaneuf4Prez is something that has the potential to negatively impact future employment opportunities or their ability to run for public office one day. 5. Talk to your child about the joys of living without the Leafs Emphasize how good she feels when she isn’t choosing Leafs players for her hockey pool. Point out to her how existentially nourished she feels when she’s not looking at the Leafs organizational depth chart. Help her to be responsible for her own well being. 6. Be specific about the science Help your kids understand what is happening in their bodies chemically when they watch the Leafs. Explain to them that their dopamine levels are directly affected by each failed power play breakout, or each time Glenn Healey says, “See, Reimer just has to make that save”. 7. Walk them through their hockey dysmorphia Being constantly inundated by bad hockey can cause hockey dysmorphia. Kids will become completely unhinged and lose their grasp of what hockey is supposed to look like. Be patient with them, but firm when explaining, “No sweetheart, these ducks couldn’t sweep the Leafs in four. They’re just eating the bread we’re feeding them.” 8. Discourage them from spending too much time in the basementStudies have shown that kids who identify as part of “Leafs Nation” are 20 times more likely to be afflicted with a vitamin D deficiency and a fear of direct sunlight. Try to keep them above ground as much as possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomkat Posted November 21, 2015 Report Share Posted November 21, 2015 You won't be invited to the cup parade Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRIFTER_016 Posted November 21, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 21, 2015 You won't be invited to the cup parade Hey now!!! I bleed blue and white but it's freaking funny!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomkat Posted November 21, 2015 Report Share Posted November 21, 2015 You watching now? They look good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr blizzard Posted November 21, 2015 Report Share Posted November 21, 2015 Dave thx for lighting up people viewing this board I know what your intentions were here, you rock,,live love laugh. that was my 90 year old mothers advice after talking to her yesterday in Woodbridge, words I will cherish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRIFTER_016 Posted November 21, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 21, 2015 You watching now? They look good Of course I'm watching!! Sick save by Reims in the shootout. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomkat Posted November 21, 2015 Report Share Posted November 21, 2015 Carey who? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRIFTER_016 Posted November 21, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 21, 2015 Carey who? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dusky Posted November 21, 2015 Report Share Posted November 21, 2015 This is funny... and at the same time handy for my 8 year old... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRIFTER_016 Posted November 21, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 21, 2015 This is funny... and at the same time handy for my 8 year old... LOL!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solopaddler Posted November 21, 2015 Report Share Posted November 21, 2015 Did Craig Ritchie hack into your account? LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paudash Posted November 22, 2015 Report Share Posted November 22, 2015 this was great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manitoubass2 Posted November 22, 2015 Report Share Posted November 22, 2015 Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PBenson Posted November 22, 2015 Report Share Posted November 22, 2015 Lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostAnotherOne Posted November 22, 2015 Report Share Posted November 22, 2015 I'm afraid to see where they are in the standings. Just can't get myself to look. Last time I think they where 4th from the bottom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misfish Posted November 22, 2015 Report Share Posted November 22, 2015 (edited) I'm afraid to see where they are in the standings. Just can't get myself to look. Last time I think they where 4th from the bottom. REBUILDING As of Sunday, November 22, 2015 4:02:24 PM EST EASTERN CONFERENCE Atlantic GP W L OTL SOL Pts GF GA HOME AWAY Montreal 21 15 4 1 1 32 74 48 8-2-1-0 7-2-0-1 Ottawa 20 10 5 2 3 25 61 57 5-3-1-3 5-2-1-0 Detroit 21 11 8 2 0 24 49 52 5-5-1-0 6-3-1-0 Tampa Bay 22 10 9 1 2 23 53 50 5-4-0-1 5-5-1-1 Boston 19 10 8 1 0 21 62 56 4-6-1-0 6-2-0-0 Florida 20 8 8 3 1 20 54 53 5-4-2-0 3-4-1-1 Buffalo 20 8 10 1 1 18 43 55 4-6-1-0 4-4-0-1 Toronto 21 7 10 1 3 18 48 58 3-4-1-1 4-6-0-2 Edited November 22, 2015 by Brian B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moxie Posted November 23, 2015 Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 My son is a Blackhawk fan and my daughter is a Pens fan so they'll be just fine. As for those who's kids are leaf fans,oh well,I guess the world needs some of those poor louts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirCranksalot Posted November 30, 2015 Report Share Posted November 30, 2015 (edited) I get a chuckle out of folks who identify themselves as Leaf fans and then act surprised and offended at the abuse flung their way!! Nothing like walking around with a target on your back!!! Edited November 30, 2015 by SirCranksaLot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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