...

[Greencoachdog]

...

Edited November 7, 2009 by GCD

[irishfield]

[lilkynan]

So

 

Why did the chicken cross the road???

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To show squirrels it can be done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Frankypro]

Ahh go away, I just read that to my wife and she got it.

 

Too cute

[fishindevil]

WAY TO GO GLEN...I JUST SPILLED MY COFFEE.. ...OUT OF MY NOSE THAT IS...LOL..LOL

[nelly]

Here are a couple of good ones that I saved from the old board.

 

From douG

 

This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks.

 

So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell. The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster named Chuck. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem."

 

Well, Chuck the rooster costs a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Chuck. The farmer takes Chuck home and sets him down in the barnyard, first, giving the rooster a pep talk, "Chuck, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said, with a chuckle.

 

Chuck seemed to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house, and Chuck took off like a shot. WHAM! - Chuck nails every hen in the hen house - three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that the farmer hears a big commotion in the duck pen, sure enough, Chuck is in there. Later, the farmer sees Chuck after a flock of geese, down by the lake. Once again, - WHAM! - He gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Chuck out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught - worried that his expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours.

 

Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day, to find Chuck dead as a doorknob - stone cold in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh Chuck, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."

 

Chuck opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, "Shhhh, they're getting closer..."

 

From Roger Mayer

 

A farmer bought a young rooster and put him in the chicken coop. The old rooster sat there noticing all the hens googling over the young rooster. The old rooster walks over to the young one and says Hi. The young rooster tells the older one to move aside and let him take over. I'll take care of the chickens now you old fart.

 

The old rooster says. "Why don't you let me have three of these old gals and you can have the rest". The young rooster tells him to get lost. It's time for the old to move aside and let the youth take over.

 

The old rooster says, "If you are so confident why don't we have a race around the house. The winner has the whole coop to themselves."

 

Young Rooster says "You're on. I'll even give you a head start."

 

So the old rooster starts running. The young rooster gives him about a 10 second head start and takes off. The young rooster starts to gain on the old rooster at the back of the house. They round the corner and the young rooster is about 5 feet behind the old rooster. Now they round the next corner by the porch and the young rooster is right behind the old rooster when BANG! A loud gun shot rings out.

 

The farmer looks at his wife and says " Ya know, that's the 3rd gay rooster I bought this month!!!!!"

[tjsa]

UGH!!

[Daplumma]

Pretty good....why is it I have heard all 3 of them jokes?

Joe

[silveradosheriff]

[Guest mistyriver1]

[Britmick]

Guy driving down the highway at 100 and gets overtaken by a three-legged chicken so he speeds up to 120 but the chicken goes even faster.

 

The guy just gets up to the chickens speed when the chicken puts out his right wing and goes down the off ramp, the guy follows it for some time and eventually they are on a country road.

 

In the distance is a farm, just then the chicken puts his left wing out and turns into the farm the guy follows him in through the gate.

 

As he stops his car the farmer comes out and asks him what he wants, the guy explains what had happened and the farmer says, " its simple, as there is just the wife and I and our one son we bred the three-legged chicken so that we don't have to slaughter two to get a leg each".

 

"Now I understand" said the guy "it makes good sense, but what do they taste like?" the farmer replies " how the hell should I know we've never managed to catch one!"

[aplumma]

2 children both in grade three ate chicken sandwiches ever day for lunch.

partway through the year both children recognized this similarity and became friends. They were friends up until grade six when one day the little girl all of a sudden stop eating chicken sandwiches. The boy confronted her and said why are you not eating chicken sandwiches I am not going to be your friend no more. The girl replies" i had to", " i started to grow feathers down there". The little boy said let me see. The little girl pulled down her pants and showed him the little boy quickly says yaah you better stop. The little boy and girl remand friends. The boy ate chicken and the girl ate what ever. all of a sudden the little boy stopped eating his chicken sandwhiches as well. the little girl wondered why and asked him. the little boy replied i started to grow hair down there as well. the little girl said let me see the little boy showed her. she said its to late you already have the neck and craw to.

 

Art

[Rich Clemens]

Chickens are so under-appreciated.