douG Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 I went to a dinner party last night, where I and other guests enjoyed copious amounts of alcohol. I woke up this morning with flu-like symptoms; headache, nausea, chills, sore eyes, and a bit of the trots. As a result, I have unfortunately tested positive for what a cadre of experts are now calling Wine Flu. This debilitating condition is serious - and it appears this is NOT an isolated case. Reports are flooding in from across the country of others now being diagnosed with Wine Flu. To anyone exhibiting the aforementioned symptoms, experts recommend a cup of tea and a bit of a lie down. However, should your condition worsen, you should immediately rent a DVD and call in sick. Then take the only drug proven to combat this usual type of flu - a McDonald's Happy Meal. If that doesn't work, further application of the original liquid, in familiar quantities, has been shown to do the trick. Wine Flu does not NEED to be life threatening! If treated early, it can be eradicated within a 24-48 hour period. NOTE If you find you are complaining a lot, it may be that the virus has mutated into Whine Flu. This is particularly common in men and can spread to their partners whose symptoms may include a serious case of eye-rolling. Hope this hleps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rbaquial Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 LMAO!!! That's hilarious!! Hahaha.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mbosh1980 Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 nnnnnnnnnnnice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highdrifter Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 HAH! Soo true. Those mini cheeze burgers.. Musta been a gong show!! Ever try distilling grape juice? Our shipper guy had liver spots 3 years ago and refused treatment.. Said he could cure himself. Started making his own special blend of eau de vie and he says he can drink as much as he wants without the hangovers.. His teeth are almost gone, but he'still going strong!! Props on the tip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike the Pike Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 (edited) Oh no we are bunking with a whino.Who snores like a rhino. Edited November 6, 2009 by Mike the Pike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twocoda Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 i am immune to this flu...this very second ....but might not be tomorrow mornin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rizzo Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 If that doesn't work, further application of the original liquid, in familiar quantities, has been shown to do the trick haha...a little hair of the dog always fixes you right up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoneFly Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 Lol,..nice buddy, I hear a good cure is a glass of water and a medium pizza before bed. Fix you right up in the am,..well atleast 50% Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jer Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 From my experience...the symptoms of this particular strain grow progressively worse as one ages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harrison Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 (edited) Doug, I wasn't quite sure what was happening last Sunday, thankfully all my symptoms matched above. Thanks for the post. I survived the wine flu. Wish I had of known about the McDonald happy meal though, the Taco Bell burritos were not a good choice. Figured if the hot sauce could shine a penny, it might help clean me out. Also, the partner showed the rollin eyes symptom, but also a total lack of compassion and patience. Maybe it is mutating. Brilliant, Phil Edited November 6, 2009 by Harrison Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 Damn, I have had that 6 times already this year! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snag Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 I have stock piles of the vaccine. Every night my walk-in clinic is swamped. Experts say we are only at the beginning.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fish4Eyes Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 Ahh yes, I remember this far too well 2 weeks ago.....damn Italian weddings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisK Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 Wife and I are always sick..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 Wife and I are always sick..... And your address is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snag Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 Wife and I are always sick..... Wow Dad, You're a musky stud and a doctor? No more family secrets! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisK Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 No family secrets here Snag..... Now thats better.....I'm good for about a month Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harrison Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 lemme guess, the buds were part of the bottling process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squid Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 Also known as the molson virus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubbles Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 Funny thing is, as hard as I try I cannot seem to develope an immunity to the virus. I seem to try every weekend but my immune system never improves.....It is Friday so we will see whta tomorrow brings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 Oh, DouG made a funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisK Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 lemme guess, the buds were part of the bottling process. One tends to drink lots of beer while bottling alot of wine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishnsled Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 Great laugh to start the weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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