Jump to content

~~~what I Learned In Over Sixty Years


oldphart

Recommended Posts

~~~I've come to understand that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.

That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

 

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

 

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

 

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

 

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

 

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

 

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

 

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

 

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

 

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

 

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

 

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

 

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

 

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

 

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

 

I once inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day I received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

 

A buddy once said to me "My wife's an angel!"

I said "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Somethings I've learned..........

 

Man always has the last word.....as long as it's "Yes Dear"

 

 

When you're out without her, everything is half price.

 

 

I tell my wife, you can either have it done your way or you can have me do it....but not both.

 

 

Marraige is an institution so if you want to spend the rest of your life in an institution, get married.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recent Topics

    Popular Topics

    Upcoming Events

    No upcoming events found

×
×
  • Create New...