splashhopper Posted January 20, 2011 Report Posted January 20, 2011 The last few weeks and months we have heard from quite a few OFC members that have ill children or parents or lost close friends and family. Sometimes we just don't know if we can walk one more step, for them, with them or just for ourselves. Many of us have had moments in our lives when giving up seemed like a viable option and wished for it to come for ourselves or others that we see suffering so terribly. It is at times like this when our friends pull through for us and carry us when we can't carry ourselves. But there are also times when our friends are just not enough. There are times when we need something more to inspire us and give us hope for one more day. Or maybe even until the end of the day at hand. Just one more day to carry our babies, to carry our friends, to carry our burdens. We can all go one more day if we don't quit. How many of us have had turning points in our own lives that we can look back at and recognize that somebody was carrying us during our most fearful moments. I know that in my life, my dad has carried me and that i have had five other men carry me when I couldn't carry myself. Three of those men have moved on to a greater place and I feel their presence as I write this to anyone on this board that just needs some support but doesn't know how to ask. The following video is for you! Don't lay down and quit.... but try as best you can Today to get up and KNOW that help is there for you.
rylan Posted January 20, 2011 Report Posted January 20, 2011 i wanted to thank you as well -- Many of my family and friends know that this has been the worst year in my life- I almost lost my brother to cancer- the fight is still going on- my wife had a mental breakdown that caused her to leave me and my son. Many challenges I am facing right now- I look for strength anywhere. I hope peace can come to me soon
mercman Posted January 20, 2011 Report Posted January 20, 2011 i wanted to thank you as well -- Many of my family and friends know that this has been the worst year in my life- I almost lost my brother to cancer- the fight is still going on- my wife had a mental breakdown that caused her to leave me and my son. Many challenges I am facing right now- I look for strength anywhere. I hope peace can come to me soon you have made it this far MM, you will see it gets easier with time.Sounds to me that your strength is greater than you think.Anytime you need a shoulder, someone in here will always know EXACTLY how you feel,i garantee it . Paul
thatleetboy Posted January 21, 2011 Report Posted January 21, 2011 Well said.... Thanks for sharing. How many of us have had turning points in our own lives that we can look back at and recognize that somebody was carrying us during our most fearful moments.
splashhopper Posted January 21, 2011 Author Report Posted January 21, 2011 MM: Today is the only day u need worry about. Yesterday is gone, with all its regrets and mistakes. Tomorrow is not here yet with all its worries and fears. Today is what is right in front of your nose( and your child's little nose too..lol). If u have to break Today down to hourly components, do that too. And when u get thru This Day, thank whatever power you believed carried you for this day. Then lie down and have a restful evening. PM me if u need to. Ron
Chance Posted January 21, 2011 Report Posted January 21, 2011 (edited) Words of wisdom and greatly appreciated! Thank you Edited January 21, 2011 by Chance
Harrison Posted January 21, 2011 Report Posted January 21, 2011 (edited) I can't see the video at work, but I am looking forward to it when I get home. I recently lost the man I relied on to carry me, even more then I knew. Edited January 21, 2011 by Harrison
Bly Posted January 21, 2011 Report Posted January 21, 2011 Splash.....Thank you, not sure there are words that can express how much I appreciate you posting this.
JohnF Posted January 21, 2011 Report Posted January 21, 2011 Nice post Ron. Too often we completely ignore the importance of support from friends and family. It's way more than helping with the chores or lending friends money when they're really in a bind. The value of strong emotional support is incalculable. We've all experienced it but did we all recognize it? Women are much better at it than men, and men tend to blow it off. Real men don't cry - yeah, right! Again, great post, Ron. And I like that you're not shoving the support down anyone's throat. Too often the folks who realize the value of emotional support become obsessed with forcing their help on others. Too often the others aren't ready for it or feel they don't need it and are offended by it. About a year after we lost our 18 year old an out of town acquaintance lost his in much the same way. Because of the way our family dealt with our loss some of his family came to me insisting that I basically get in his face about the way he was handling his situation. I refused. I asked them to tell him I'd be happy to talk with him or just listen but I wouldn't force it on him. He never called. He bought a Harley instead. That seemed to work for him. The truth is that no one can realy know what another person is struggling with, even when the situations appear to be identical. So it's the height of arrogance for anyone to assume that they can fix everything for everyone who's hurtin'. Just listening is sometimes all it takes. By the way. There's another side to this. I talked about the folks who push themselves into the situation. There are the other kind, those who avoid you because they don't know what to say or just can't handle the idea of you suffering. I saw this over and over again when Steve died. I finally started taking the bull by the horns with the folks closest to us and saying something like "Treat me normally. I'm not fragile or broken. We don't need to talk about Steve." That seemed to work for most of them. Sorry about the moralizing but it's kind of a hot button with me after some of the stuff my family has gone through with losing a son, losing parents (except my Mom who's going to outlive us all), cancer, and a few other minor hurdles. Anyway Ron. Again, great post. It's important (for us guys particularly) to be more aware and sensitive and willing to share others' pain. For any of you who want to see a great example of it, go to the chemo ward or ICU in any hospital and check out the volunteers giving up hours and days of their lives, usually retirement years to boot, to ease the suffering of others. It can be eye opening. JF
irishfield Posted January 21, 2011 Report Posted January 21, 2011 For any of you who want to see a great example of it, go to the chemo ward or ICU in any hospital and check out the volunteers giving up hours and days of their lives, usually retirement years to boot, to ease the suffering of others. It can be eye opening. JF It sure can John.. Leah and I get a ring side seat every three weeks. We have tickets for Wednesday thru Monday next week.
fishing n autograph Posted January 21, 2011 Report Posted January 21, 2011 (edited) thanks....i think i needed that. Dave Edited January 22, 2011 by FishnNAutographs
JohnF Posted January 21, 2011 Report Posted January 21, 2011 It sure can John.. Leah and I get a ring side seat every three weeks. We have tickets for Wednesday thru Monday next week. The other group who absolutely blow me away are the nurses. Anyone who says these people are overpaid needs to get out more. I know there are exceptions but damn - they amaze me as a group. I even had one who hung out with me one sleepless hospital night to talk about walleye fishing on the French. Another went foraging one night to find me a reading lamp when I couldn't sleep and didn't want to disturb my roomy by turning on the big light. But the great examples were the ones working in ICU in London when Steve was in a coma. They were beyond incredible. A couple even slipped in after their shift to keep us company when they shut off the machinery that last day (after he'd hung on for 39 days) and then stood there with their arms around each other crying. Tell me nurses don't care. But I'll shut up now. That's a whole nuther story and not what Ron first wrote about. His subject really deserves to stand alone. Sorry, Ron. JF
splashhopper Posted January 21, 2011 Author Report Posted January 21, 2011 The other group who absolutely blow me away are the nurses. Anyone who says these people are overpaid needs to get out more. I know there are exceptions but damn - they amaze me as a group. I even had one who hung out with me one sleepless hospital night to talk about walleye fishing on the French. Another went foraging one night to find me a reading lamp when I couldn't sleep and didn't want to disturb my roomy by turning on the big light. But the great examples were the ones working in ICU in London when Steve was in a coma. They were beyond incredible. A couple even slipped in after their shift to keep us company when they shut off the machinery that last day (after he'd hung on for 39 days) and then stood there with their arms around each other crying. Tell me nurses don't care. But I'll shut up now. That's a whole nuther story and not what Ron first wrote about. His subject really deserves to stand alone. Sorry, Ron. JF This thread was started, just for what is happening in it John. No need to apologize. Your story reminds me of the video in the opening thread.
bowshep Posted January 21, 2011 Report Posted January 21, 2011 (edited) l remember that run it had an effect on me then as it has today. l think we have all been in this place of the numbing abyss of sorrow. When l was in that place lots of people told me to "just get through today" well its hard to get through the day when your staring at a bridge thinking that your a waist of breath. Then the next day comes and its no better but on one of those next days you feel the sun on your skin and things begin to change. Life is suppose to have its hard times its the only way to know when when and what is the good times. The greatest part of it all is the people that have been their remember the feelings they had so when you fall into that trap they say "just get through today" its coming from their heart you just don't know it yet. For me it was a quote from Gandhi "When l sleep l am dead, when l awake l am reborn". Some of those sad days l went to bed early just to get it over with. Ken Edited January 21, 2011 by Bowshep
mercman Posted January 21, 2011 Report Posted January 21, 2011 23 years ago, this May, i was on the brink of death.Swollen and bleeding from places you shouldn't.I had it all, and traded it for oblivion in the bottle.My only freind in the world, Jack Daniels, had begun to kill me. I placed my life, and my future in the hands of total strangers who had walked the same mile as i had.Defeated, and broken, i asked them to help me climb the ladder to happiness and sanity.I have offered the same help to others when asked, ever since. It is the reason i am where i am today. I have and do live one day at a time.It is possible and i am living proof of it. Ron, thank you again for this thread, i gather strength each time i visit it. Paul
Harrison Posted January 21, 2011 Report Posted January 21, 2011 (edited) Ok, phew... well...just saw it. Thanks for posting. This whole thread hits home more then you know. Paul, stay strong my friend. You've beaten something, well, many can't and not for their lack of trying. As I mourn the loss of my Father over the holidays, this video reminds me how he picked me up, brushed me off and sent me off again to succeed with his guidance and support. Thanks again. Edited January 21, 2011 by Harrison
douG Posted January 21, 2011 Report Posted January 21, 2011 This is good work, friends. Thanks. There will be more than one that takes this thread to heart and goes to work on some difficult answers.
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