Andy Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 Chuck is 68 yrs old today. Enjoy the link. I posted a couple favourites. http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/ Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. Chuck Norris counted to infinity-twice. Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terry Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 Chuck Norris will live forever cause DEATH is afraid of him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishing n autograph Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 chuck norris once punched a man in his soul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danbouck Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Chuck Norris doesn't read books, He stares them down! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 God help those birthday candles..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gawel Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 the boogy man checks his closet for Chuck Norris before he goes to bed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muskymike Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 One roundhouse by Chuck Norris creates enough energy to power Australia for 24 hours Originally it was called Alien AND Predator VS. Chuck Norris, but no one wanted to watch a 5 minute movie. Oh no this could be a topic that goes on forever....lets hear them...hahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muskymike Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 The Chuck Norris Calendar goes from March 31 straight to April 2nd becuase NO ONE fools Chuck Norris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fishnwire Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, Chuck Norris goes killing. The term "hunting" implies there's a chance of failure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danbouck Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 (edited) Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away. I can continue all night but i won't Edited March 11, 2008 by danbouck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muskymike Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 I think there needs to be a whole topic on just this... There is no theory of evolution just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Superman wears Chuck Norris Pajamas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greencoachdog Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Jackie Chan can whip Chucks ass and make him like it!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FishHeadRic Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 (edited) Chucks legs are NEVER bound by his jeans!!! Edited March 14, 2008 by FishHeadRic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mepps Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 if you put "find Chuck Norris" in Google, and click "I'm feeling lucky" you get this - Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muskymike Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Hahaha Mepps, I dont think I have heard that one....I am definitely using that one again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, its already too late! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bullybass Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Mepps, I tried it and that is hilarious!!! I can't believe the sense of humour that Google actually has!!! awesome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abberz Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 (edited) The United States did not find Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq because Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma. Google thing was hilarious. Edited March 11, 2008 by Abberz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elusive Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman, over the phone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carp Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Saddam Hussein was talking tough until the U.S threatened to send Chuck Norris to Iraq. Then Saddam hid in a hole and begged the U.S military to save him before Chuck showed up. A public hanging was much less painful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squid Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 When chuck norris does sit ups, the earth moves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squid Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Love this one: Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding... Chusk Norris can slam a revolving door.... Space exists because it is afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays potato chip! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squid Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Another gem Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was; if Chuck Norris kicks you, your relatives will feel it....HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays potato chip! Oh, now I really love that one Peter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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