~~~what I Learned In Over Sixty Years

[oldphart]

~~~I've come to understand that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.

That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

 

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

 

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

 

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

 

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

 

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

 

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

 

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

 

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

 

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

 

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

 

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

 

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

 

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

 

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

 

I once inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day I received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

 

A buddy once said to me "My wife's an angel!"

I said "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

[Beans]

Good Ones...

 

BTW...Happy (belated) Birthday !

 

 

[Eddyk]

I hope your wife dosent read this.

[Guest mistyriver1]

[GbayGiant]

[wishn4fishn]

LOL its funny cause its true.

[kennyman]

Thanks for the laugh, I needed that.

[Rich]

Hahahahaha

[Kirk]

I got married by a Justice of the Peace, and since then I have had neither.

 

My wife has only 2 complaints about me... what I say and what I do.

[Fisherman]

What I hate is when they tell you how to do something they are totally incapable of doing themselves, you should do this, you should do that.

[Gerritt]

I have a wive too....

 

 

I call her my liability...

 

 

Gerritt.

[knotaclue]

very nice and true,whats mine is hers and whats hers is hers and as long as i do as i'm told evry thing will be fine,ps, don't anybody tell her i like fishing, i'll never get to go!!!

Edited December 8, 2006 by knotaclue

[irishfield]

Boy....where did you lads go wrong...LOL

 

[OhioFisherman]

I have known my wife for 25 years and been married for 20, she must be crazy!

[specktacklure]

they say marriage is grand and divorce is a hundred grand !!!!!!!!!!!

[huey graphite]

Somethings I've learned..........

 

Man always has the last word.....as long as it's "Yes Dear"

 

 

When you're out without her, everything is half price.

 

 

I tell my wife, you can either have it done your way or you can have me do it....but not both.

 

 

Marraige is an institution so if you want to spend the rest of your life in an institution, get married.