oldphart

~~~~Sorry I hope they keep it closed for many more years to come. I grew up in the 50s, and can remember guies taking bussel baskets home to fertilizer in their gardens, and that how we almost killed them off. Lets leave it closed, and keep it C/R only. (my $0.02 worth)

~~~~With this warner temps, and Trout stacking up off the mouth, just a wunderen if the harbour is clear of ice. Wouldn't mind phishen from my boat this weekend

~~~I remember when Gord Booth ran Kingfishers out of Virgina Beach, he had Frank an old friend there directing people where to park, then a convoy of our southern cousins arrived and igorned Frank and parked tight together, and sure enough the ice gave, and it cost up to $400. just to be hooked up and tow out.

~~~~I like to copy your request, I'm in Ajax, and I'll be looking for another partner who has a vehicle that can pull my Tracker. Regular partners moneys tight, and they have to work most weekends

~~~~I was out there off the Big Island parked at Wager's Farm, and only landed a 2.5 lb Herring, and 9 Dinks for 2 days. I have phished Marten River out of Marten Rive Lodge, the Prov. Park, and Beaverland Lodges, spent most of out time on Lake Wickstead which flows into the Marten River, great for Pike and Walleye in about Mid lake region. Upper park of Martem River has a real long deep hole which has some great Trout action.

~~~If your speaking about Dave's out of Virgina Beach, I was out with 2 guy on Saturday on the BOQ, who were out with him last weekend and did very well on the Jumbos, taking home 15 each, and releasing a lot more

After being married for over a year now Joey asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while...then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K." She asks..... "What does that mean?" He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot. She smiled happily and said.. "Oh, that's so lovely.. What about I, J, K?" He said, "I'm Just Kidding!" The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles

~~~~Boy am I happy I'm old, having just turned 65 last month, it's great to be a Senior

~~~~Check in with Terry up at Eagle Lake Adventures, in West Gilford at 1-705-754-1637, he'll let you know whats happening up in that area

~~~~~Yes again we Baby Boomers are left out in the cold, bad enough they say they are running out of money to pay our pention, and the next generation won't get any, but I love the Discounts still working, and Go Transit fares cut in half, get savings, don't have to pay into the CPP anymore, cheap tickets at the movies.

~~~~Just pondering, over 65 do you still need a phishen lic.??

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?" The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302." The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room." After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow." The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news." The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?" The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me crap."

~~~Was speaking with Terry at Eagle Lake Adventure (1-705-754-1637)this morning and he says there have been guys out on Minner's Bay this the 28th, also Cedar Lake has 4". He reports most of the small lakes have about 6-4". but 8" of snow, and 4" of slush(I hate slush). So it looks like I'l be in Tim's in Minden at 06:30 Sunday to unload then heading out to explore

~~~~The only real downer of this post is the City view, and my building where I work is the Condo on the right. Tried to phish the inner canals one year the Police forced us off saying we were endangering our lives, along with the people that would be dispatched to save us, that year we had 8" of ice

~~~~Well now, that surley hurts sitten here at work. Great haul bud. Now if I can just Google Earth and phind that tree that was behind you, I might head up there

~~~~Had a talk with Terry up at Eagle Lake Adventures, and he reports water level is high with no ice on the lake, So New Years Day I'll be on Lake Hal in my Widdle gween Twacker pestering the Lakers. Biggest problem will be phinding minnows since this new restition came in.

~~~This morning Web Cam shot from Reach Harbour Lower Buckhorn. Harbour frozen, but main lake wide open, for me I'm looken for open ramps to launch my boat alot safer

~~~~Yeah my back ache also, last year I was so stiff I tried to straighten my back, pushed back, and snapped the bolts holding the seat back. Was able to fix it no biggie, but I taking it out and getting a folding lawn chair, bou not the bucket style, they hurt my back also.

When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure. When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure. When you drink whisky over ice, it can give you heart problems. When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems. Apparently, ice is really bad for you. That's why I take my Jack Daniel neat Warn all your friends.

A young cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had been the fastest gun in the West. The cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him of his great ambition to be a great shot... ‘Could you give me some tips?' he asked. The old man said, 'Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high - tie the holster a little lower down on your leg.' 'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' 'Sure will ' The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his .44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player. 'That's terrific!' said the cowboy. 'Got any more tips?' 'Yep,' said the old man. 'Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it - that’ll give you a smoother draw' 'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man. 'You bet it will,' said the old-timer. The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink off the piano player. 'Wow!' exclaimed the cowboy 'I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any more tips?' The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. 'See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it.' The young man smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun. 'No,' said the old-timer, 'I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all..' 'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.. 'No,' said the old-timer, 'but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much.

~~~Just checked the web camera on Lower Buckhorn at Reach Harbour, and the lake looks frozen

Health Advice to Help Start The New Year Off Right ------------------------- Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop. Q: Is beer or wine bad for me? A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables. Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. Q: At the gym, a guy asked me to "spot" for him while he did the bench press. What did he mean? A: "Spotting" for someone means you stand over him while he blows air up your shorts. It's an accepted practice at health clubs; though if you find that it becomes the ONLY reason why you're going in, you probably ought to reevaluate your exercise program. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain-No Pain. Q: If I stop smoking, will I live longer? A: Nope. Smoking is a sign of individual expression and peace of mind. If you stop, you'll probably stress yourself to death in record time. Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? Q: What's the secret to healthy eating? A: Thicker gravy. Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about trying to live a longer and healthier life...

Here is how to make my favorite Christmas Cookie: Christmas Cookie Ingredients: 1 cup of water 1 tsp baking soda 1 cup of sugar 1 tsp salt 1 cup of brown sugar 1 tsp lemon juice 4 large eggs 1 cup nuts 2 cups of dried fruit 1 bottle Jose Cuervo 1800 Tequilla or equiv Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Turn on the electric mixer... Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar... Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup... just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher. CHERRY MISTMAS

'Twas the Night Before Christmas It was about time for Christmas, and all through the house A creature was stirring, but it wasn't a mouse I knew right away it was my wife's little pup, She thought we were sleeping, and so she was up. The dog was a gift it was coercion, really, A woman can pout, 'til a man gets downright silly. And now the wife was snoozing she was really sacked out She wouldn't have awoke from less than a shout. Yes, her in her nightgown, I in my BVDs, We had finally settled down to catch some Zs When off in the kitchen there arose such a clatter, I rolled from the bed to see what was the matter. Away down the hall, my head in a muddle, I reached the kitchen...and stepped in a puddle. The glow from a nightlight illuminated the room, So how come I stumbled over the broom? I fell in a sprawl, my legs were not stable. On the way down, my nose hit the table. My head was a spinnin' and when I came to rest Four miniature dog feet stood on my chest. With a lick and a bark, she bounded away, Into the living room, she ran to play. More rapid than mouses, that rat terrier ran, Me on the follow, rolled newspaper in hand. "Stop, Skeeter! Stop, Dog! Stop, Pup! Halt, Pooch! Halt, Girl! Oh, come'ere, you mutt! "Get off the new couch! Now let go of that curtain! Ohhh...If I ever catch you, you're gonna' be hurtin'" As winds of a Texas tornado do fly, She spun round the room, down low and up high. Then up on the countertop, that puppy went She stopped for a second. I thought she was spent. I make a quick lunge, she ducked me and then Yawned when I dove through the flour bin. As I drew out my head and was turning around, She made for the presents, in a single bound. I was covered with flour, from my head to my toes, My robe in tatters, and blood on my nose. A bag full of toys, she grabbed with glee I nabbed her, I thought, but instead got the tree. The ornaments, they broke, as they began to fall The lights, how they fizzled, and that is not all. When I reached for the plug, to turn the bulbs out, What flowed through my body, but electricity, so stout! As smoke encircled my head like a wreath, That dog held my big toe, tight in her teeth. "Skeeter," I moaned, "I give up. Oh, Skeet, I give in." So she bit my swollen nose, and nipped at my chin. She spoke not a word, but went back to work, Down came the stockings it took just a jerk. Then up from the hall, came the sound of feet, Momma, it seemed was awake from her sleep. "Now you'll get it pup," I announced with glee. Then Skeeter walked over and put her little head on my knee. She looked up at my wife - so innocent - and at me, so, so sad. And it didn't take long, to know I'd been had. Then came the wife's voice, so strong and so clear, "Bill, you leave that puppy alone! You hear!" And I exclaimed to myself, as they walked out with a strut, "Don't leave any gifts, Santa just PICK UP THE MUTT!"