akaShag Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 Well, I am blessed with many friends, and many of us have been through a pile of crap together: deaths, disease, divorce, illness, loss, you name it. And we have been though lots of good times also, and when a guy is strong and on top of things, he can help the guy who is struggling. That was why we started calling our fishing and hunting trips, and this probably 20 years ago, "Male Healing Retreats." And every one of us has had his healing moments and times of need, but we help each other out. I think that many of us who enjoy time in the outdoors can share that passion on a very fundamental level, which helps our buddies to deal with their challenges. Doug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solopaddler Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 What I wouldn't give to have my son back for even one hour. X2 My heart goes out to both of you. I've spent not a day, a week nor a year... but well over 4 years sitting in hospitals watching the life get sucked out of a kid, her two siblings and my wife ....while finding little opportunity to work and make money to pay the bills on my end as that's what "dad" is supposed to do. Apparently there's a few I've alienated in some way or form, that went from friends to enemies in a short 4 years, and frankly I don't really care. If they can't deal with the realities of what I'm going though, then they weren't friends in the first place. There isn't a single person on this board who can even come close to understanding what you've been through. As far you alienating people I honestly doubt it. Sometimes life has a way of separating people - things happen. As far as Bruce's post goes I think everyone can relate to what he said. It's a part of being human. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manitoubass2 Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 Well, I am blessed with many friends, and many of us have been through a pile of crap together: deaths, disease, divorce, illness, loss, you name it. And we have been though lots of good times also, and when a guy is strong and on top of things, he can help the guy who is struggling. That was why we started calling our fishing and hunting trips, and this probably 20 years ago, "Male Healing Retreats." And every one of us has had his healing moments and times of need, but we help each other out. I think that many of us who enjoy time in the outdoors can share that passion on a very fundamental level, which helps our buddies to deal with their challenges. Doug I like this post. Thats how it should be Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Ironmaker Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 Crappieperchhunter said "Happiness or unhappiness is a choice". I can't agree with you there sir or madam. You are off base. I have met thousands of people throughout my life and have seen some very unhappy people that had it all, or should I say a lot of stuff to try and make them happy. The trophy 2nd wife, the big house not home, the cars, the boats, the beach house, the Miami condo, the perfect family. Too many I have known that had appeared to be happy and have taken their own lives, too many. Depression is something that no matter how one tries to will themselves to be happy it just aint happening. With counseling and medication it can get one to a better place but it's not as simple as willing one to happiness, that can not be done. I can admit I had suffered from depression before that word was even known to the public. If anyone does suffer from this you must seek help now. It's nothing to be ashamed of. If I said I broke my leg everyone would send their best wishes. Tell someone you are having panic attacks and are depressed watch them run away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manitoubass2 Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 Depression is no joke, never suffered it myself though. Panic attacks are a curse of the devil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirCranksalot Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 . When I got divorced many years ago some would cross the street to avoid me like I had some decease or something. I have not had the heartbreak that some on here have had and I consider myself lucky that I have not. But I did go thru a divorce nearly 20 yrs ago and, yes, you find out who your real friends are----and good riddance to the rest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crappieperchhunter Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 Crappieperchhunter said "Happiness or unhappiness is a choice". I can't agree with you there sir or madam. You are off base. I have met thousands of people throughout my life and have seen some very unhappy people that had it all, or should I say a lot of stuff to try and make them happy. The trophy 2nd wife, the big house not home, the cars, the boats, the beach house, the Miami condo, the perfect family. Too many I have known that had appeared to be happy and have taken their own lives, too many. Depression is something that no matter how one tries to will themselves to be happy it just aint happening. With counseling and medication it can get one to a better place but it's not as simple as willing one to happiness, that can not be done. I can admit I had suffered from depression before that word was even known to the public. If anyone does suffer from this you must seek help now. It's nothing to be ashamed of. If I said I broke my leg everyone would send their best wishes. Tell someone you are having panic attacks and are depressed watch them run away. I can't comment on depression...as it is foreign to me. I know friends family and co-workers who have dealt with more "crap" then I have ever had too. And there "take"on how it unfolds has inspired me to follow the same path they followed to navigate through it. I was not trying to belittle the experiences of anyone dealing with mental illness. I just don'y have any experience or anything to offer as help for such people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Ironmaker Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 I was commenting on your statement that one chooses to be happy or not. Way off base, Educate yourself. I hope I'm not coming off as an A hole, but it gets my ire up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crappieperchhunter Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 I was commenting on your statement that one chooses to be happy or not. Way off base, Educate yourself. I hope I'm not coming off as an A hole, but it gets my ire up. Not coming off as an A hole to me...and I understand your point perfectly. However I stand by my statement that choosing to be happy or unhappy applies.... to 99.9% of the population anyway. Can we agree to disagree on this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gerritt Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 I have what is called an anxiety disorder... And as I'm told a form of PTSD.... I don't talk about my mental health much. But those of you know me... Know things are not as they were. I tend to always speak when I shouldn't. Or speak my mind when it is not prudent. Laugh at the wrong time, and cry when I Shouldn't .... Yes I cry. I have a loose wire somewhere... I don't have very many friends... Because I have pushed them away... Out of fear that they will see who I am... Or ask the questions I don't want to answer. Is this the life I imagined?.... No. But I have realized my shortcomings, and am seeking help. Help started 2 weeks ago... To deal with my demons... So yes look at those around you.... You have someone you know that is in need, but had zero clue they have been hurting for years. Be a friend... Be forgiving, but most of all just be there. It means the world. G Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reel Man Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 Mental illness can be an invisible burden and the stigma attached to it in today's society holds so many back from seeking the help they so desperately need. Please, if you are suffering from depression, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, social phobias please talk to someone! There is help out there if you ask for it. There are people who understand what you are dealing with and will not judge you. Telling a person suffering with depression to "Think positive" is like telling a diabetic that happy thoughts will bring their blood sugar level down. It is a medical condition and should be treated as such. Just thought I'd throw my rant in the ring too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Cliff Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 What is most important in life, having many friends or just trying to be a good friend and reaching out to others? Over the years I have tried and still do try to be there for those that I can help when I can. Obviously I can't be all things to all people all the time and I am sure that over the years I have probably let lots of people down. It wasn't because I didn't care, sometimes I just didn't know what to do or say that would help, sometimes I had my own issues to deal with and sometimes I was just too busy trying to be a friend to someone else that I felt needed it. The one thing I have learned though is to try to try to cut people some slack and not be too judgemental. If someone is having a hard time for whatever reason and acts out of charactor (been there, done that) instead of jumping on them, reach out, find out what is behind it and try to understand their point of view. Doesn't mean you have to agree with it, doesn't mean they are right, just try to understand it. Friendship is a pretty complicated thing, we expect a friend to forgive us when we mess up, to be there for us when we need them and we expect a friend to understand! It's a wonderful thing but it has to work both ways! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Ironmaker Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 (edited) Crappyperchhunter, agree to disagree. But you are right, there are a few people out there that choose to be just downright miserable and mean and act unhappy and they like it. I actually have a friend that comes across like that but it's his defense mechanism to keep people from getting too close to him so he can't be hurt again, some of the most insensitive to others are the most sensitive when it comes to them, sad really. I have another "associate" that is just downright a miserable bas&a*d to everyone. He is the don't tell me what you did for me yesterday tell me what you can do for me today kind of non friend. He thinks he has friends and what he has is many people that are afraid he is going to go off on them. He's a bully. Reel Man said, Mental illness can be an invisible burden and the stigma attached to it in today's society holds so many back from seeking the help they so desperately need. Please, if you are suffering from depression, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, social phobias please talk to someone! There is help out there if you ask for it. There are people who understand what you are dealing with and will not judge you. Telling a person suffering with depression to "Think positive" is like telling a diabetic that happy thoughts will bring their blood sugar level down. It is a medical condition and should be treated as such. Just thought I'd throw my rant in the ring too! Very well said. I actually have a real friend that is into holistic healing big time. No matter what Marisa I can't will my Pancreas to produce Insulin. Then we get to healing by prayer and I will not touch that with a1000 foot pole. I have found myself on my knees in a Chapel Hospital, it can't hurt can it? Edited February 1, 2015 by Old Ironmaker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manitoubass2 Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 (edited) I have what is called an anxiety disorder... And as I'm told a form of PTSD.... I don't talk about my mental health much. But those of you know me... Know things are not as they were. I tend to always speak when I shouldn't. Or speak my mind when it is not prudent. Laugh at the wrong time, and cry when I Shouldn't .... Yes I cry. I have a loose wire somewhere... I don't have very many friends... Because I have pushed them away... Out of fear that they will see who I am... Or ask the questions I don't want to answer. Is this the life I imagined?.... No. But I have realized my shortcomings, and am seeking help. Help started 2 weeks ago... To deal with my demons... So yes look at those around you.... You have someone you know that is in need, but had zero clue they have been hurting for years. Be a friend... Be forgiving, but most of all just be there. It means the world. G Yessir! Edited February 2, 2015 by manitoubass2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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