urbanangler1990 Posted May 4, 2008 Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 (edited) Hello as a lot of you may know my stepdad passed this past wedsnesday and we are in desperate need of advice from a lawyer, let it be yes you can or no you have no chance, we need some legal advice please, we have found a recent document where it states his next of kin, which he put is my mom, we feel we must carry out his final wishes, this is regarding only his remains because his brother was next to kin 10 years ago and all of a sudden he is taking his remains without any consultation with us, she will be devasted if this wish wont come true for her, please if you need the details it is in the other thread, the funeral is planned for Monday, so if anyone with legal knowledge, please contact me ASAP, please...... God Bless Edited May 4, 2008 by urbanangler Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motv8tr Posted May 4, 2008 Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 PM Kirk, he may be able to help you. Good luck Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnybass Posted May 4, 2008 Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 bump. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigfish1965 Posted May 4, 2008 Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 Kirk is a lawyer. Marty is too, but is in the US. If your mom and he were married, all his assets and remains go to her unless a will made after the wedding states otherwise. Once you get married everything goes to the wife. There is a website that lists lawyers in your area that will give one hour free consultation..perhaps someone will have a link for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lundboy Posted May 4, 2008 Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 I am not a lawyer but here is my informed opinion, after going through something similar with my dad's remains last August.... Unless the brother can come up with paperwork that identifies him as having "Power of Attorney", he has no right to do anything. Your mother being married to the man has all rights. I cannot see any funeral home arguing this fact. Of course your mom will have to provide a marriage certificate as proof. When you get a lawyer involved you are asking for expenses and delays that will cause a great deal more stress and heartbreak. Avoid it at all costs.... Contact the funeral home, provide the marriage certificate, and unless the brother can provide POA proof, he can't do anything. If he can provide POA proof, then really the only thing you can do is see a lawyer, but in all likelihood you will loose, and go through a lot of money and grief trying to get control. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
urbanangler1990 Posted May 4, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 they were not married, they have been together for 10 years, and last 3,4 years they lived together, they were common law Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GbayGiant Posted May 4, 2008 Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 When you get a lawyer involved you are asking for expenses and delays that will cause a great deal more stress and heartbreak. Avoid it at all costs.... Yes, I'm no liar either but went through something similar as well. To make a long story short my situation has been dragged by lawyers and family for over 5 years now in the court system and in the end the lawyers get everything and the family is torn apart much more then if we didn't get lawyers involved. Keep the lawyers out of it period, they just do their job, witch isn't to help people struggling and in need of help, it's to profit as much as possible for as long as possible. Sorry for the negativity, but honestly, the best thing to do is to sit down with your family and talk it out no matter how stubborn everyone is on each side and meet in the middle somewhere. Sometimes that's impossible too but trust me lawyers just make things worse. They are the Lampray eel of life, sucking on anything available. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terry Posted May 4, 2008 Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 I don't know your age but your mother should handle this you do need a lawyer, talk to a local one, most will give you a free consultation then you need to hire them to proceed ..do it quickly have all papers when you go Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
e-z-out Posted May 4, 2008 Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 Next of kin The nearest blood relative of a deceased. The expression has come to describe those persons most related to a dead person and therefore set to inherit the decesased's property in that order of priority. Most jurisdictions have issued statutes that fully recognize adopted children and even common law spouses and thus, in estate matters, the common law definition of "nearest blood relative" has lost much of its authority Thats all i know about next of Kin sorry i wish i could have been more help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lundboy Posted May 4, 2008 Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 they were not married, they have been together for 10 years, and last 3,4 years they lived together, they were common law This would be a problem. My advice still is to stay away from lawyers, go to the funeral, say your last respects, and keep civil. If the brother then comes after posessions that your mom and step-father shared, I would call a lawyer. After 1 year, the government recognizes common-law as married, and that should hold true for property, although the legal fees and court costs and mental stress to protect and retain it could break you. Here's some advice, sometimes it's best to let posessions go if it gets rid of someone that is being a problem, the possesions can always be replaced. Just be sure to have that person sign a dated statement saying they have taken the items and will not be after you for more. (Again, I'm not a lawyer, so feel free to seek legal advice if you wish) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
urbanangler1990 Posted May 4, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 we found the most recent document stating , in his writing his next of kin is my mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Cliff Posted May 4, 2008 Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 Take that to the funeral home! Should do the trick, if his brother wants to fight that then let him contact a lawyer. Do it now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
e-z-out Posted May 4, 2008 Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 Take that to the funeral home! Should do the trick, if his brother wants to fight that then let him contact a lawyer. Do it now! Yes i'm with cliff on this one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terry Posted May 4, 2008 Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 take a photocopy, if that's your plan, lock up the original Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brickNblock Posted May 5, 2008 Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 UrbanAngler, I really feel for you and your mother over this ....its a heartbreak. If the funeral is slated for tommorrow as you have said....One person wrote.. "Funerals are a celebration for the living that loved such a .." IMHO....I'd let the funeral proceed as planned and attend with heads held very high because of the true love and closeness felt. I would not under any circumstance do anything that would show anything other then the sorrow that should show and the respects due. As for effects and belongings that were part/portion of your mothers and commnlaw husband .. If for any reason there is cause for alarm over ownership a lawyer will be required at that time but be aware... The lawyer will cost you more then what your after eventually........ You must be strong for your Mom...... Its B.S to think this...but it can become a nightmare if there is concern over other relatives taking items they are not entitled to.....Ive seen it first hand. Everything that is your Mothers and step-Fathers must be made note/inventory of. Have it notarized....... I believe you will then have some capacity within the law at this point if there is a dispute...unless there is a will already in place. As far as the funeral........you said it was for monday..... Let it go...and celebrate that mans life together with your Mom....with his brother(s) UrbanAngler........May angles look over both you and your Mom at this time. Bud...this is only an opinion of what I would do. I wouldnt want or wish any trouble or conflict at this time...just peace and a decent funeral to lay rest. ITEMS........can always be replaced.. bNb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
urbanangler1990 Posted May 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 BNB thanks u for the kind words he did not have money, all he had was his monthly checks from ODSP and clothing, and other small items my mom has been working hard at finding legal documents, all she wants will for his ahses to stay in Toronto, with her, it will feel like we didnt complete his wishes, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Headhunter Posted May 5, 2008 Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 I'm still in the middle of wrapping up my Dad's estate, so maybe I can help a bit. If you mom is listed specifically in the will, then she has the rights you need... if not, than his brother can have the power in that situation. However, as common law, your Mom has a strong legal standing for assets within the estate... as a matter of fact, should there be enough assets... your Mom has a valid claim for up to the first $250K of the estate and up to 50% of any money available beyond the initial $250K. Who has been listed as the executor of the will? If it's his brother, than you Mom should go see a lawyer and have him bill the estate for his time... it's legal. As others have mentioned, if you can reason with the brother, than in the short, medium and long run, that's the best solution. Don't forget to pursue any insurance, investments, bank accounts, pension etc... to get a true evaluation of the estate. HH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highdrifter Posted May 5, 2008 Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 (edited) UrbanAngler,I really feel for you and your mother over this ....its a heartbreak. If the funeral is slated for tommorrow as you have said....One person wrote.. "Funerals are a celebration for the living that loved such a .." IMHO....I'd let the funeral proceed as planned and attend with heads held very high because of the true love and closeness felt. I would not under any circumstance do anything that would show anything other then the sorrow that should show and the respects due. As for effects and belongings that were part/portion of your mothers and commnlaw husband .. If for any reason there is cause for alarm over ownership a lawyer will be required at that time but be aware... The lawyer will cost you more then what your after eventually........ You must be strong for your Mom...... Its B.S to think this...but it can become a nightmare if there is concern over other relatives taking items they are not entitled to.....Ive seen it first hand. Everything that is your Mothers and step-Fathers must be made note/inventory of. Have it notarized....... I believe you will then have some capacity within the law at this point if there is a dispute...unless there is a will already in place. As far as the funeral........you said it was for monday..... Let it go...and celebrate that mans life together with your Mom....with his brother(s) UrbanAngler........May angles look over both you and your Mom at this time. Bud...this is only an opinion of what I would do. I wouldnt want or wish any trouble or conflict at this time...just peace and a decent funeral to lay rest. ITEMS........can always be replaced.. bNb That's great advice BnB. Words of wisdom that I will take with me as well. Good luck UA, with everything. cheers HD Edited May 5, 2008 by Highdrifter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Urban Fisherman Posted May 5, 2008 Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 I can't help with any legal advice but I am sorry to hear about your loss, and I do hope everything works out well for you and your mom in the long run. There sure are some good people on this board! Cheers, UF ps. great name pal! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
urbanangler1990 Posted May 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 I'm still in the middle of wrapping up my Dad's estate, so maybe I can help a bit.If you mom is listed specifically in the will, then she has the rights you need... if not, than his brother can have the power in that situation. However, as common law, your Mom has a strong legal standing for assets within the estate... as a matter of fact, should there be enough assets... your Mom has a valid claim for up to the first $250K of the estate and up to 50% of any money available beyond the initial $250K. Who has been listed as the executor of the will? If it's his brother, than you Mom should go see a lawyer and have him bill the estate for his time... it's legal. As others have mentioned, if you can reason with the brother, than in the short, medium and long run, that's the best solution. Don't forget to pursue any insurance, investments, bank accounts, pension etc... to get a true evaluation of the estate. HH he doesnt have any assests, he was living mainly living off my mom They were not married but haved lived together for 4 years The funeral was today, we spoke with his brother and he said he is taking the ashses to BC and when he comes back he will give my mom, you all have been wonderful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snag Posted May 9, 2008 Report Share Posted May 9, 2008 (edited) Hey Alex, I somehow missed your thread(s) on this situation. I hope all is well and that things worked out for the better. From what I gleamed from you when we met; your mother is a hard working, understanding and loving mother. You'll always have each others back even when things get bad. Take care, Grant Edited May 9, 2008 by SNAG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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