Wondering Why? NF

[Bernie]

SUMMER CLASSES FOR MEN AT

THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS

 

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY June 29, 2008

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL

OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

 

Class 1

How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

 

Class 2

The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?

Round Table Discussion.

Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

 

Class 3!

Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and

Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.

Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 h ours.

 

 

Class 4

Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---

Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

 

Class 5

After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?

Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning

at 7:00 PM

 

Class 6

Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.

Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

 

Class 7!

Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places

And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.

Open Forum .

Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

 

Class 8

Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.

Graphics and Audio Tapes.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

 

Class 9

 

Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

 

Class 10

Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?

Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

 

Class 11

Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.

Online Classes and role-playing .

Tue sdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

 

Class 12

How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion

Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours ! beginning at 7:00 PM.

 

Class 13

How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.

Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

 

 

Class 14

The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.

Live Demonstration.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

 

Upon completion of any of the above courses,

diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

[danbo]

Don't go..I flunked that course twice already!!

[Casey123]

Upon completion of any of the above courses,

diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

 

I bet they do not issue many diploma's

 

 

Besides, that is 22 days that you could be fishing.

[lunkerbasshunter]

lol that was funny

 

CHeers!

[Gerritt]

DO not give in to the special interest groups! We better hold a rally and start a non-profit Bernie... Next thing we know the Spring bear hunt will be gone!

 

Ohhh Wait....

 

G

[walleyejigger]

Class 9

 

Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

 

 

i know this is fake because,

 

men don't get lost, we like to "tour" new places

[Tarzan's Jane]

Isn't there a waiting list...haha

 

I think they got it all covered...except I can think of one other

 

How To Blow Your Nose Without Disturbing The Neighbours Who Live A Half Mile Away

 

And

 

How To Flatulate Wthout Wearing That Stupid Grin

[Bernie]

This just keeps getting funnier along the way!

[Big Cliff]

How To Flatulate Wthout Wearing That Stupid Grin

 

Trust me, it can't be done, it's a hormone thing, men are just born with it

[HTHM]

Another course is: "How to look me in the EYE when talking to me"

[Greencoachdog]

Looks like Commie Propaganda to me!!!

 

Here's a few for the wimmins...

 

1. How to find your car in the Wal-Mart parking lot

 

2. How many pairs of shoes is enough?

 

3. Residential Blueprint reading (so they can find the kitchen in the house)

 

4. Lawnmower 101

 

5. Weedeater 101

 

6. Automotive maintainence (there's more to it than just gas 'n go)

 

7. Fish cleaning 101 (you aren't allergic to fish gut!)

 

8. There's more to life than a climate controlled environment

 

9. How to gift shop at the Sporting Goods store

 

10. How not to look/act like your mother

[Tarzan's Jane]

Sorry to hear about your troubles GCD...

Too bad you didn't marry a Canadian Woman...she'd be teaching how to ... ahhhh never mind

[walleyejigger]

nother fer wimmin

 

Nothing, means..... nothing!

 

ex. What are u thinkin of?

- Nothing.

Well u must be thinkin of something.

-Nope.

 

I don't care means.... i don't care!

 

ex. What do u think of sky blue instead of ocean blue for the bedroom?

- i don't care.

- What do u mean u don't care?

 

quit trying to analyze things, sometimes we just don't give a carp

 

thanks for letting me vent

[Greencoachdog]

Sorry to hear about your troubles GCD...

Too bad you didn't marry a Canadian Woman...she'd be teaching how to ... ahhhh never mind

 

 

Dammit!!! She told me she was born in North Bay and that was her Mother and Sister that live in Janetville that we have to fly in to Canada to see!!!

 

 

Why do you think I'm on this site???

 

It's ok for wimmins to bash the hell outta men, but we better not say one damn word aboot them....

 

 

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Sounds typical.

Edited April 7, 2008 by Greencoachdog

[maybe]

It's ok for wimmins to bash the hell outta men, but we better not say one damn word aboot them....

 

Hey, I'm thrilled you posted that Wimmins Training Guide - it's making me look good. Can I claim a bonus point for using Mossy Oak gift wrap on Jeff's presents?

 

Twilight, don't think of it as a stupid grin - think of it as an enhanced range air quality warning system. When you're too far away for the audible alert, you can still read the "danger, keep away" sign.