For all of us old farts

[Daplumma]

16 things it takes most of us 50 years to learn

A compiled list of things that take most of us 50 years to learn. Do you agree/disagree on some of them? -Quang-

1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.

3. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

4. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

5. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11.

6. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”

7. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

8. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”

9. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

10. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and he decides to deliver a message to humanity, he will NOT use as his messenger a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too.

11. You should not confuse your career with your life.

12. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person.

13. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

14. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

15. Your true friends love you, anyway.

16. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance

[Fisherman]

16 things it takes most of us 50 years to learn

A compiled list of things that take most of us 50 years to learn. Do you agree/disagree on some of them? -Quang-

1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.

3. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

4. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

5. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11.

6. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”

7. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

8. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”

9. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

10. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and he decides to deliver a message to humanity, he will NOT use as his messenger a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too.

11. You should not confuse your career with your life.

12. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person.

13. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

14. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

15. Your true friends love you, anyway.

16. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance

1, no comment other than I find it's usually a bunch of guys that can't speak the Queens english very well that give the movie its badness.

2. DST was brought about by the lazy sots that can't get up with the sun in the summertime and go to bed when it gets dark out.

3. You have a point there.

4. Yes, I am.

5. I just look forward to the cake.

6. I would call it obsessions and mental illness.

7. Time for the shotgun, can you clear the gate before I load, crank one up the tube and let 'er fly?

8. I would rephrase that to something what the Army(Gov't) is very good at... reorganizing...again

9. Yes.

10. Oh ya, or a bunch of saturday morning door knockers that need to do their annual PT test while I'm loading up Betsy..

11. A lot of bosses should not confuse their careers with my life.

12. Yes.

13. Sometimes.

14. Or is terminally ill anyway.

15. True friends will be sitting beside you in jail when you get caught.

16. I don't know about that one, I'll just hold up the bar.

Edited March 29, 2007 by Fisherman

[pikehunter]

Admittedly all are true.

[danc]

Add one of my favorites to the list. Never phone home and tell the wife/girlfriend that you're going for A beer after work...

[Roy]

Good one Dan. Here's another....Raheem McHindu should never multi-task when he's got both Sis and his mother online.

[Daplumma]

Good one Dan. Here's another....Raheem McHindu should never multi-task when he's got both Sis and his mother online.

Too funny,thats a blast from the past!!

[OhioFisherman]

16 things it takes most of us 50 years to learn

A compiled list of things that take most of us 50 years to learn. Do you agree/disagree on some of them? -Quang-

1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.

3. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

4. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

5. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11.

6. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”

7. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

8. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”

9. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

10. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and he decides to deliver a message to humanity, he will NOT use as his messenger a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too.

11. You should not confuse your career with your life.

12. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person.

13. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

14. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

15. Your true friends love you, anyway.

16. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance

 

Dang Joe your over 50? I thought Art was the old guy?

 

1. usually you can tell how bad a movie is by the leading ladies bra size, some movies have nothing else to offer.

 

5. yep, for the most part, birthdays really became meaningless once I could by beer legally.

 

12. waiter/janitor? some of the best people on earth!

 

16. LOL I dance everytime I get up! and don`t need beer to do it!

[Joey]

Thanks Joe, those are so true.

 

Joey

[LeXXington]

See now here's the big problem, All us young people below 50 know everything already..

 

 

 

or so my 4 year old daughter tells me

[verno]

I'm glad I learned number 11 when I was 23. I love number 12.