Well, I'm on the other side of the fence. At 10, she may have a strong will however you are the parent. I don't want to sound like I'm bad mouthing your wife, however I strongly believe you have to get her on your side. Children of which your daughter still is, have a wicked capability of hedging one parent against the other and won't stop until they get the desired result. My wife didn't have a disciplinary bone in her and the boys knew that. Dad can I...No! Then it was Mom can I until I nipped that in the bud. It took a bit, but both turned out about as good as any proud parent could want. I wish you more than luck, hope you have a thick hide.