Hey Oncogene,
I want to tell you something... In order for us to get stronger as individuals we must go through some sort of trial or tribulation. If this is really what you have your heart set on; then go for it. Just ask yourself "What is it that I can do to get myself out of this mess?" You are the only person that can dictate the outcome of this situation. Whether it means, working 3 jobs, getting a loan, borrowing off parents or friends etc. You do what you do to get by and get to where you are going! We are all pulling for you!!! Goodluck!