Big Cliff Posted June 20, 2011 Report Posted June 20, 2011 Just got an email from a very old friend, he is in a downward sprial, a bad one! He lives about 5 hours drive from me but I think he needs help now!!! I have tried to talk him into talking to a Dr.. Not sure if that will wash. I am so worried about him right now and with all my experience I am having trouble figuring out how/what to do to help him! Please! ideas
Pikeslayer Posted June 20, 2011 Report Posted June 20, 2011 (edited) Just got an email from a very old friend, he is in a downward sprial, a bad one! He lives about 5 hours drive from me but I think he needs help now!!! I have tried to talk him into talking to a Dr.. Not sure if that will wash. I am so worried about him right now and with all my experience I am having trouble figuring out how/what to do to help him! Please! ideas Cliff, If you know his address or specific directions, CALL 911 or the local police/fire department. Edited June 20, 2011 by pikeslayer
Pikeslayer Posted June 20, 2011 Report Posted June 20, 2011 http://camh.net/Care_Treatment/index.html
Pikeslayer Posted June 20, 2011 Report Posted June 20, 2011 Emergency contact information: http://www.camh.net/about_camh/contact_us/index.html
Guest ThisPlaceSucks Posted June 20, 2011 Report Posted June 20, 2011 if this is some sort of mental spiral or collapse than i would let him know that if he's feeling like he's hit rock bottom or can't cope that it's not a sign of weakness or something to be embarrassed about, but that it's a sign that he's been strong and fighting for too long and needs help to get back up.
Terry Posted June 20, 2011 Report Posted June 20, 2011 there is not much you can legally do in the short term but you can call 911 and tell a little white lie.. say he seemed confused disoriented, unresponsive.. and the phone went dead in the middle of the call and you think he needs an ambulance and or medical help...... but if they show up and he can somewhat answer questions and refuse help there is nothing you can do or they can do unless they really believe he is in distress ...
Big Cliff Posted June 20, 2011 Author Report Posted June 20, 2011 OK guys and gals, finally managed to get him to answer the phone and had a good talk with him! I did as suggested and told him that if he didn't talk with me I had a couple of options. I think it helped! I'll stay on top of it! Thanks for all your input! Cliff
basketclam Posted June 20, 2011 Report Posted June 20, 2011 Not sure how immediate the trouble is, or the exact nature of the trouble. Assuming it's not 911 or immediate emergency assistance worthy (and seeing as you've got some advice on that front already), my advice is this: give him a call and let him know you're there to listen. Don't dole out advice, or dole it out very selectively. Empathize. Sympathize, if you can. When someone is depressed, and it sounds like this guy probably is, the world can seem like it's working against you every step of the way. If he knows that there's someone who can listen to him when he talks (and it sounds like he's reaching out to you to be that person), it'll make it easier for him to deal with. It won't solve his depression, so he'll still need additional professional help, but it'll make life easier to cope with. And that's what battling depression is all about.
basketclam Posted June 20, 2011 Report Posted June 20, 2011 I see I took to long formulating my response, and that you're a step ahead of me. You're clearly a good friend to this guy, Cliff. Sounds like a good friend is something this guy needs. Kudos.
vinnimon Posted June 20, 2011 Report Posted June 20, 2011 Keep in touch with him as much as possible. Purhaps make a plan to visit him, go fishing and chat away, esp if hes in need of your input and a face to face chat.
fishing n autograph Posted June 20, 2011 Report Posted June 20, 2011 professionally speaking, if you feel your friend is about to harm himself, call 9-1-1...don't lie, tell them that your friend is having suicidal thoughts or may be thinking of harming himself. If he is then there may be grounds to apprehend him under the Mental Health Act....no not under arrest, apprehened....and he will be taken to the nearest hospital to speak with a doctor. If the emergency physician believes that he is going to harm himself etc, then he will issue whats called a Form 1 which is a doctors order for a 72 hour mental health evaluation...remember calling 9-1-1 may make you feel bad, but you're looking out for your friend..
SlowPoke Posted June 20, 2011 Report Posted June 20, 2011 Send him a pie, everyone likes pies. Maybe you could look up his neighbour's phone number and get a feel for what they know or see in his behaviour. If they're kind enough, perhaps they could keep an eye out for him and keep you posted. http://www.canada411.ca/search/address.html
Terry Posted June 20, 2011 Report Posted June 20, 2011 professionally speaking, if you feel your friend is about to harm himself, call 9-1-1...don't lie, tell them that your friend is having suicidal thoughts or may be thinking of harming himself. If he is then there may be grounds to apprehend him under the Mental Health Act....no not under arrest, apprehened....and he will be taken to the nearest hospital to speak with a doctor. If the emergency physician believes that he is going to harm himself etc, then he will issue whats called a Form 1 which is a doctors order for a 72 hour mental health evaluation...remember calling 9-1-1 may make you feel bad, but you're looking out for your friend.. in my world that doesn't work I don't think he really said he was suicidal most older people and that's how I took it...may give up and want die but in most cases you can not make them go to the hospital. the ambulance shows up they say they don't want to go and they don't it is every seldom that they will take them.. and the ambulance drivers know if they make someone go that is mentally sound, they are in for a law suit. ....
radar Posted June 20, 2011 Report Posted June 20, 2011 Call a health care provider and ask about resources in his area (Ontario or telehealth) Ontario 211 or any crisis line (they can assist you to get one in his area). A crisis unit may be able to show up and talk without the risk of being "formed" or anything intimidating. You need a resource in his area to check on him. Call him often enough to know you care. Make plans to call in future. If you are thinking the worst, don't be afraid to ask the hard questions (and call 911). Asking specific questions will not cause him to do anything. (Vince has a good idea - take him fishing and talk!) And get yourself some help. It can be very stressful. Those crisis lines will help you too.
Big Cliff Posted June 20, 2011 Author Report Posted June 20, 2011 Thanks guys, tried to talk him into going fishing, he doesn't want to talk right now but I did get him to promise he would call me tomorrow. his word has always been gold to him so I am trusting he will keep his promise. He did say that he would CONSIDER talking to his Dr. I think that was more just to keep me happy. Let him know how important he is to me. I'll call 911 if I think it is going down hill from here. Thanks again all! Cliff
fishing n autograph Posted June 20, 2011 Report Posted June 20, 2011 (edited) in my world that doesn't work I don't think he really said he was suicidal most older people and that's how I took it...may give up and want die but in most cases you can not make them go to the hospital. the ambulance shows up they say they don't want to go and they don't it is every seldom that they will take them.. and the ambulance drivers know if they make someone go that is mentally sound, they are in for a law suit. .... if he's thinking about hurting himself he doesn't have a choice but to go...if he refuses the ambulance, he goes with the police to the hospital, it something i do a couple of times a month he mentioned an old friend...i assumed that it was a friend he had known for years, not someone getting on with age lol.. 310-COPE is also a good resource if he wants to talk to someone too but Terry you're right, if someone tells an ambulance to pound salt then they have no choice Edited June 20, 2011 by FishnNAutographs
Terry Posted June 21, 2011 Report Posted June 21, 2011 well that is the thing a person has to tell someone they are thinking of hurting themselves or others or it's a no go...even family members can't do very much my family has been in a business that deals with older people with mental problems my wife is a nurse that deals with the same and I have seen time and time again that if you don't say they are going to hurt themselves, there isn't much you can do..so a little lie (if you believe they are going to hurt themselves but they didn't come out and say it) is the only way to get someone in the door..
fishing n autograph Posted June 21, 2011 Report Posted June 21, 2011 (edited) i guess it all depends on the situation, i'm more used to dealing with people in that situation under 50...however, even if the person lies and says i didn't say that but family and friends say otherwise then i tend to believe the family and friends and take the person and let the hospital help the person...either way its a tough situation Edited June 21, 2011 by FishnNAutographs
rylan Posted June 21, 2011 Report Posted June 21, 2011 hey everyone,, I to just went through this, but with a girlfriend-- she suffers from depression and is taking a lot of pills to bandaid her symptoms -- she is no doubt abusing her meds.. this is after many nights of telling me "she wants to end the pain"... and recently- i found her cutting herself really badly on her legs- i had a long talk with her-- and said I wanted her to get help and I care/loved her enough to get it. Well -- she broke up with me and stop taking my calls, texts and emails.. I was very concerned as she has 3 kids in the house-- i feel so horrible -- i wish i could have helped her -- but i had no choice to call the police and Childrens aid.. I expressed my concerns with them and I hope she gets the help she needs-- i feel horrible for doing htis-- but i feel i did the right thing--
limeyangler Posted June 21, 2011 Report Posted June 21, 2011 professionally speaking, if you feel your friend is about to harm himself, call 9-1-1...don't lie, tell them that your friend is having suicidal thoughts or may be thinking of harming himself. If he is then there may be grounds to apprehend him under the Mental Health Act....no not under arrest, apprehened....and he will be taken to the nearest hospital to speak with a doctor. If the emergency physician believes that he is going to harm himself etc, then he will issue whats called a Form 1 which is a doctors order for a 72 hour mental health evaluation...remember calling 9-1-1 may make you feel bad, but you're looking out for your friend.. Good advice!
Big Cliff Posted June 21, 2011 Author Report Posted June 21, 2011 Good news my friends, he did as promissed and got in touch with me. He is admitting that he needs some time and help and I have him planning for a future visit all of which is really good. As I said, he is a man of his word and he wouldn't break a promiss to me for anything. Thanks again for all your ideas and PMs they really helped someone you don't even know!
bushart Posted June 21, 2011 Report Posted June 21, 2011 Cliff, Unsure if your friend is depressed or suicidal but often when someone has made up their mind that they're going to do it---they will tell you what you want to hear sometimes. Not saying this is the case--but just something to note.
radar Posted June 21, 2011 Report Posted June 21, 2011 And good on ya Cliff! Never met ya but it doesn't surprise me you're doing this
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