misfish Posted December 11, 2007 Report Posted December 11, 2007 A big city London lawyer went duck hunting in rural Scotland. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the lawyer what he was doing. The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and your not coming over here." The indignant lawyer replied. "I'm one of the best trial lawyers in the UK! If you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything that you own. The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Scotland. We settle small disagreements like this, with the Scottish Three Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "What is the Scottish Three Kick Rule?" The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth until someone gives up." The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly gets down from the tractor and walked up to the city lawyer. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin, which dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly ripped the nose off his face. The lawyer was flat on his belly, when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly causing him to give up, but he didn't. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old man, now it's my turn." The old farmer smiled and said: "Naw, I give up, You can keep the duck!"
huey graphite Posted December 11, 2007 Report Posted December 11, 2007 I saw Super Dave Osborne tell a slightly different version of that joke on Letterman many, many years ago.
misfish Posted December 11, 2007 Author Report Posted December 11, 2007 Thought I would of heard from Kirk by now.
Roy Posted December 11, 2007 Report Posted December 11, 2007 Kirk is trying to figure out what it means.
irishfield Posted December 11, 2007 Report Posted December 11, 2007 He's not use to "plucking" a duck !
Kirk Posted December 11, 2007 Report Posted December 11, 2007 There's nothing funny about three counts of assault. LOL My recollection of Superdave's version involved a sledgehammer.
Kirk Posted December 11, 2007 Report Posted December 11, 2007 Scotsman, walking into girlfriends bedroom, holding a lamb under his arm announces: You see honey, this is the pig I have sex with when you aren't feeling well. GIRLFRIEND: I think you'll find its a lamb...dumbass SCOTSMAN: I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you (Got this oldie but goodie in the email today)
irishfield Posted December 11, 2007 Report Posted December 11, 2007 Can we say that here before 8PM.... LOL
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