BUSTER Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a guys nards so hard his name instantly changed from Mrfish to Misfish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capt bruce Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack When Chuck Norris played golf for money, chuck marked down a hole in 0 every time, a pro at the golf club, said to Chuck: "excuse me sir, but you cant score zero on a hole". Chuck Norris turned towards the man and said, im Chuck Norris, the man then proceeded to pour gas over his body and set himself on fire because that would be less painful than getting roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the face anyways. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel28 Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 "Chuck Norris created all the accents in the world by punching everybody in the throat each in a different way. " "When Chuck Norris answers the phone, he just says "Go". This is not permission for you to begin speaking, it is your cue to start running for your life. " "Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain. " "A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capt bruce Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 How many roads must a man walk down? Chuck Norris knows Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter Chuck Norris doesn't fart, air flees his body in despair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Headhunter Posted June 5, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 Wow! Thanks to all who replied to this thread... I'm still laughing! Capt. Bruce... has so far anyway, made my belly hurt! LMAO! HH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misfish Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a guys nards so hard his name instantly changed from Mrfish to Misfish. Phil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perchslayer666 Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 * Chuck Norris CAN smell what the Rock is cookin' because the Rock is Chuch Norris' personal chef... * Some people like to eat frog legs, Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs, hence snakes. And a Jack Bauer one just for the hell of it; * Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harrison Posted June 5, 2009 Report Share Posted June 5, 2009 (edited) Chuck Norris was asked to do a music video, when the singer belted out "Beat it", Norris roundhoused the singers nose off - scared him white. Edited June 5, 2009 by Harrison Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eyeforelle Posted June 7, 2009 Report Share Posted June 7, 2009 Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV. Chuck Norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and crap out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid. Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King. Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two" Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die. Chuck Norris' evil twin brother, Richard Simmons, once approached Chuck with the hope of reconciliation, but at the sight of Richard's curly, well kept hair, Chuck Norris became so enraged that he turned green with hate and ripped Richard Simmons arms and legs off. This action was the origin of the Marvel Comic badass, The Incredible Hulk. Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany. and my favorite... Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly ‘get out of jail free’ card. I can go all day with these... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eyeforelle Posted June 7, 2009 Report Share Posted June 7, 2009 what the hell one more!! If you spell Chuck Norris wrong in google search, it wont say "Did you mean "Chuck Norris?", it will simply say "Run while you still can..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlowPoke Posted June 7, 2009 Report Share Posted June 7, 2009 I love 'em all but my favourite is... Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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