Misfish's problem with Trojans tonight made me think of this

[irishfield]

A man boarded a plane with 6 kids.

 

After they got settled, in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours?"

 

 

He replied, "No. I work for a condom company, these are customer complaints."

[Joey]

Hahaha, that's a good one Wayne. I heard a joke the other day.

 

A mother in England calls her son in Canada and says "son, that's it, I've had it with your father. We're divorcing and there's nothing you can do to stop me. Don't bother telling your sister as it will just ruin her Christmas."

 

Of course the son phones his sister and tells her so the sister calls mom and her mom repeats the same thing. "I've had it with your father, you just don't understand what its like, you'd have to be here to see it, its terrible, I just don't know what to do."

 

So the daughter calls her brother and they discuss that they must go to England to talk mom and dad out of the divorce. They agree and she calls her mother back and says "hold off mom, I'm picking up my brother and we're catching the next flight out there."

 

After the mom hangs up, she leans over and says to her husband "Well it worked honey, they're coming for Christmas and paying their own airfare."

 

Joey

[irishfield]

[HTHM]

My wife sent me this.....

 

Subject: The love Dress

 

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's

house.

 

She knocked on the door then immediately

walked in. She was shocked to see her

daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally

naked.

 

Soft music was playing, and the aroma of

perfume filled the room.

 

'What are you doing?' she asked.

 

'I'm waiting for Justin to come home from

work.' The daughter-in-law answered.

 

' But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed.

 

'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law

explained.

 

'Love dress? But you're naked!'

 

'Justin loves me to wear this dress,' she

explained.

 

'Every time he sees me in this

dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages

me for hours.'

 

The mother-in-law left. When she got home she

undressed, showered, put on her best perfume,

dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay

on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.

 

Finally, her husband came home. He walked in

and saw her lying there so provocatively.

 

' What are you doing?' he asked.

 

'This is my love dress,' she whispered,

sensually.

 

'Needs ironing,' he said, 'What's for dinner?'

[John]

Two Ladies Talking in Heaven

 

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.

 

2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?

 

1st woman: I froze to death.

 

2nd woman: How horrible!

 

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

 

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

 

1st woman: So, what happened?

 

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

 

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.

[bicephalic]

A woman calls her mother to tell her some exciting news, "Mom I'm pregnant again"

Mother: Wow - again?

Woman: Yeah, must be something in the air...

Mother: Yeah - must be your legs

 

[misfish]

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.

 

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Thats a good one.

 

Now stop making fun of my mishap.LOL