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Posted

A police officer pulled over a driver, and informed him he had just won $1000 in a safety contest because he was wearing his seat belt.

"What are you going to do with the prize money?" he asked.

The man responded "I guess i'll go to driving school and get my licence"

At that moment his wife who was seated next to him chimed in "Officer, don't listen to him, He's a smart ass when he's drunk"

This woke up the guy in the back seat who upon seeing the police, blurted out "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car"

At that moment there was a knock from the trunk and a voice asked "Are we over the border yet?" :D

Posted

What do you call a dog on a leash with no legs?

 

A drag

 

what do you call a dog with no legs not on a leash?

 

Nothin....he wont come anyways

Posted

I got a new pair of glasses yesterday , they're already broken , my wife's best friend Darlene sat on them ... It's all my fault , I should've taken them off .

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