HTHM Posted September 2, 2012 Report Share Posted September 2, 2012 An engineer, mathematician, and a statistician are out hunting with bows and arrows in the woods when they spot a deer. Deciding that they don't want to scare the deer off by all attacking at once, they decide to take turns. The mathematician goes first; he estimates the distance and the velocity of the arrow, fires at the correct angle, and falls short by 10 feet because of air resistance and mass. Then the engineer; he considers the wind resistance, mass of the arrow, movement of the target, and fires the arrow, but lands 10 feet too far because of an incorrect calculation. The statistician, ecstatic, jumps in the air and exclaims "WE GOT 'IM!" The big chess tournament was taking place at the Plaza in New York. After the first day's competition, many of the winners were sitting around in the foyer of the hotel talking about their matches and bragging about their wonderful play. After a few drinks they started getting louder and louder until finally, the desk clerk couldn't take any more and kicked them out. The next morning the Manager called the clerk into his office and told him there had been many complaints about his being so rude to the hotel guests....instead of kicking them out, he should have just asked them to be less noisy. The clerk responded, "I'm sorry, but if there's one thing I can't stand, it's chess nuts boasting in an open foyer." One lab rat asks another "So, if you could escape, would you?" The other replies "The truth is, I'd miss the drugs." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christopheraaron Posted September 2, 2012 Report Share Posted September 2, 2012 Very nice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercman Posted September 2, 2012 Report Share Posted September 2, 2012 2 and 3 = 1= Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spincast Posted September 2, 2012 Report Share Posted September 2, 2012 2 and 3 = 1= just another mean, average peice of humour Merc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercman Posted September 2, 2012 Report Share Posted September 2, 2012 just another mean, average peice of humour Merc. ahhhhhh ok 1 = Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
largemouthtrout Posted September 3, 2012 Report Share Posted September 3, 2012 I had touble saying sastitician , stashisition , sastitsician , statist ish on .. aw you know what i mean . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HTHM Posted September 3, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 3, 2012 And some more...... Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting coefficient of friction. Interrupting coefficien-- Mu!! So, Rene Descartes is in a bar near closing time. The bartender asks him, "Would you like another drink?" Descartes replies, "I think not" and vanishes. After Descartes disappears, the bartender turns to Heisenberg. "Wow, did you see that?" the bartender asks, to which Heisenberg replies, "Possibly, but I can't be sure." Why do Marxists only drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft. lbert Einstein, Blaise Pascal, and Isaac Newton were playing hide-and-seek. Einstein counted to twenty and Pascal ran off, but Newton just drew a square in the ground around himself with a stick. Einstein turned around, saw Newton, and said, "I've found you!" Newton looked confused. "No," he said, "You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinnimon Posted September 3, 2012 Report Share Posted September 3, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HTHM Posted September 3, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 3, 2012 I applaud you sir! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercman Posted September 3, 2012 Report Share Posted September 3, 2012 I had one too. but the wheels fell off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spincast Posted September 3, 2012 Report Share Posted September 3, 2012 now THAT one took a sec and me a loong way back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitespinnerbait Posted September 3, 2012 Report Share Posted September 3, 2012 Ummmmm......you didn't worn me enough !!!! :blink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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