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Intellectual humour


HTHM

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An engineer, mathematician, and a statistician are out hunting with bows and arrows in the woods when they spot a deer. Deciding that they don't want to scare the deer off by all attacking at once, they decide to take turns. The mathematician goes first; he estimates the distance and the velocity of the arrow, fires at the correct angle, and falls short by 10 feet because of air resistance and mass. Then the engineer; he considers the wind resistance, mass of the arrow, movement of the target, and fires the arrow, but lands 10 feet too far because of an incorrect calculation.

The statistician, ecstatic, jumps in the air and exclaims "WE GOT 'IM!"

 

 

 

 

The big chess tournament was taking place at the Plaza in New York. After the first day's competition, many of the winners were sitting around in the foyer of the hotel talking about their matches and bragging about their wonderful play. After a few drinks they started getting louder and louder until finally, the desk clerk couldn't take any more and kicked them out.

The next morning the Manager called the clerk into his office and told him there had been many complaints about his being so rude to the hotel guests....instead of kicking them out, he should have just asked them to be less noisy. The clerk responded, "I'm sorry, but if there's one thing I can't stand, it's chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

 

 

 

One lab rat asks another "So, if you could escape, would you?" The other replies "The truth is, I'd miss the drugs."

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And some more......

 

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting coefficient of friction.

Interrupting coefficien--

Mu!!

 

So, Rene Descartes is in a bar near closing time. The bartender asks him, "Would you like another drink?" Descartes replies, "I think not" and vanishes. After Descartes disappears, the bartender turns to Heisenberg. "Wow, did you see that?" the bartender asks, to which Heisenberg replies, "Possibly, but I can't be sure."

 

Why do Marxists only drink herbal tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

 

lbert Einstein, Blaise Pascal, and Isaac Newton were playing hide-and-seek. Einstein counted to twenty and Pascal ran off, but Newton just drew a square in the ground around himself with a stick. Einstein turned around, saw Newton, and said, "I've found you!" Newton looked confused. "No," he said, "You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!"

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