Monday Funny (nf)

[Joey]

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love

 

When it became apparent that we would marry, I made

the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

 

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down

on the way home from work.

 

Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband

and told him that I would be late because I had to

walk home.

 

On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of

baked beans was more than I could stand.

 

With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off

any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I

stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had

consumed three large orders of baked beans.

 

All the way home, I made sure that I released all the

gas.

 

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me

and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner

tonight."

 

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the

dinner table.

 

I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the

telephone rang.

 

He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and

went to answer the call.

 

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me

and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so

while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity,

shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.

 

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer

truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood

mill.

 

I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around

me vigorously.

 

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three

more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.

 

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in

the other room, I went on like this for another few

minutes.

 

The pleasure was indescribable.

When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the

end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more

times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded

my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased

with myself.

 

My face must have been the picture of innocence when

my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.

 

He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and

I assured him I had not.

 

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve

dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

 

I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[TJQ]

 

I don't get it...

 

[knotaclue]

How long before you woke up ???

[pigeonfisher]

hahahahahaaaa

[silveradosheriff]

That's great!

[Beans]

Thanks Joey...but that is not how I got my handle...LOL

[nelly]

That was so funny Joey as I am still laughing.

[jason27fish]

nice

[Shelley Cooper]

HAHAHAH Good one Joey.....