Permission form

[Bernie]

To late for me to find this but it may be of use to some of you out there.

 

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

Print out and submit as per instructions at the bottom of the form.

 

1. Name :__________________________________________________ Date of Birth :_________________

2. Height :___________________________ Weight :_______________________ GPA :________________

3. Social Sec. #_______________________ Drivers license #______________________________________

4. Boy Scout Rank :__________________________

5. Home address :____________________________ City/ State____________________________________

6. Do you have one male and one female parent ? Yes _______ No _______

7. If no, explain :_________________________________________________________________________

8. Number of years parents married :__________________________________________________________

9. Do you own a van ?______ A truck with oversized tires ?______ A water bed ?_______

10. Do you have an earring , nose ring , belly-button ring ?______ A tattoo ?_______

(If yes to any of #9 or #10, Discontinue application and leave premises ...

11. In ten words or less, what does LATE mean to you ?___________________________________________

12. In ten words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you ?______________________________________

13. In ten words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you ?___________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________

14. Church you attend :_________________________________ How often you attend :_______________

15. When would be the best time to interview your Father, Mother, And Minister ? ___________________

16. What would you want to be IF you grew up ? _______________________________________________

 

Answer by filling in the blanks. Please answer freely - all answers are confidential

(that I won't tell anyone - ever- I promise).

 

If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is in the __________________________

 

If I were beaten the last bone I would want broken is my ________________________________________

The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ___________________________________

 

When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is_______________________________________

(Note: If answer begins with T or A, discontinue and leave premises: Keeping your head low and running in

a serpentine fashion is advised. )

 

I SWEAR THAT THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF: NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION,

CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, DEATH, AND DISMEMBERMENT.

 

Signature (that means your name, moron)______________________________________________________

 

Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for processing. You will be contacted in writing if

you are approved. Please do not attempt to call or write. If your application is rejected you will be

notified by two gentlemen wearing white coats and carrying a violin case.

 

APPLICANT'S RIGHT THUMB PRINT IN BLOOD

[Greencoachdog]

You don't have to worry about all of that if you ship them off to a Nunnery Bernie.

[bigugli]

You don't have to worry about all of that if you ship them off to a Nunnery Bernie.

 

That won't work. The girls find all sorts of ways of smuggling the boys past the good sisters at night. Loretto girls school wasn't called "The Loretto Bordello" for nothing

 

 

Bernie, you forgot to print the applicant's instructions that go with it. They are better than the app itself.

Edited February 28, 2009 by bigugli

[Bernie]

A young fella stopped to take one of my girls to a movie. I went out to have a chat with him. I see 4 bald tires.

Sorry bud but you are not taking her in that car. Next night he swings by, 4 new tires.

[muddler]

This is a true story. Verified by my buddy's daughter.

 

I have a friend that has his black belt in Kung Fu. He a a big burly guy. He's as nice as can be, calm pleasant and easy going. His gorgeous 16 year old daughter was going on her first date. The door bell rang and his daughter answerrd the door. The date (a young man of about 18 years old) plants a friendly quick smooch on his daughter. The dad rushes to the door and grabs the young man and kisses him right on the lips (very passonionately I'm told) and then let the kid go and walks a way. He turns around and says to the kid, "Have a great time, but remember, what ever you do to my daughter, im going to do the same thing to you." "What time do you want her home, sir?", the date asked. "12 o'clock would be fine,", answered the father. "She'll be home by 11." the shaken date said. And she was home by 11.

 

muddler

[MJL]

I filled mine out and sent it to Wayne Izumi

[BUSTER]

I filled mine out and sent it to Wayne Izumi

ba ha HA hA HA

[SlowPoke]

I filled mine out and sent it to Wayne Izumi

 

BRILLIANT!!!!!

That was one of those true laughing out loud moments!!!!!!