Dog Lovers

[kentooley]

A guy was driving around the back roads of Virginia when he saw a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog for Sale '.

 

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

 

The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Beagle sitting there.?

 

! 'Do You talk?' he asks.

 

'Yep,' the Beagle replies.

 

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

 

The Beagle looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA and they had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services...the United States Marines. You know one of their nicknames is 'The Devil Dogs.'

 

'In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger. So, I decided to settle down'.

 

'I retired from the Corps (eight dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

 

The guy is totally amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

 

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

 

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

 

'Because he's such a liar...

 

He never did any of that crap. .'

 

__________________

Tight Lines.

Happy Trails to you and to yours.

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[lunkerbasshunter]

to funny

 

cheers!

[douG]

That one got a laugh right there.

 

I think the essence of humour is a sudden change in point of view.

 

For example:

 

A truck driver was sitting in a crowded roadside diner ready to eat his

lunch. But it is not just any diner and any lunch. It’s his favorite diner on

the road and his favorite lunch.

Just as the waitress brought the truck driver’s meat loaf, green beans,

mashed potatoes and gravy, the door to the diner bursts open and a

motorcycle gang swaggers in. Most of them seat themselves at the table

next to the truck driver but there’s not enough room at that table for all of

them. The gang members left standing turn to the truck driver and bark,

“Move! We want that table!”

The truck driver calmly says, “I haven’t finished my meal.” One of the

motorcycle toughs takes his dirty finger, swipes it through the mashed

potatoes and gravy, sticks his finger in his mouth and says, “Hey, not bad

grub.” Another gang member takes the trucker’s cup of coffee and slowly

pours it over the remaining food on the plate and snarls, “You’re finished

now!”

The trucker stands, takes his napkin, wipes his mouth, walks to the cash

register, pays for his meal, and silently walks out the door. All the bikers

are laughing now. One of them says, “Ain’t much of a man, is he?”

The waitress says, “And he’s not much of a truck driver, either. He just

backed his rig over your motorcycles.”

[bigugli]

[Joey]

Hahahaha, both good ones.

 

Joey

[OhioFisherman]

Quit picking on truck drivers!

 

Sitting in a Perkins pancake house eating dinner with some of my driver buddies one evening before returning to the terminal. The incredible hulk sits down next to me, big dude 6'5' 260# or so, didn`t know him. The next thing I know his hand is on my knee rubbing it, hitting him with a fist didn`t seem like a good plan, no bats or bottles on the tables.

 

Looked at my pals calmly for guidance and they are laughing their butts off, all I said was he was to big to hit. A set up by them. Dude turned out to be one of my best friends! Loved to fish! Single back then and in pretty good shape, could bench 225 five times, but not in the same league as him, he could do 500 without much thought.

[waterwolf]

that liar-dog ,, that's real funny ,, thanks for the chuckle