"Chuck Norris created all the accents in the world by punching everybody in the throat each in a different way. "
"When Chuck Norris answers the phone, he just says "Go". This is not permission for you to begin speaking, it is your cue to start running for your life. "
"Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain. "
"A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. "