My bass opener ( redneck diary )

[keram]

Holly "carp", I've just noticed that after over three years I've reached a milestone - 1000 posts. Definitely a cause for celebration. To do this, I've decided to post my bass opener report with little bit more "details" then normal. I know is little bit long, so I suggest you should waste your time reading it at work, not at home.

 

Here it is:

 

On Friday I’ve continued preparation for the biggest “event” of the year – I like to call it B-DAY. I’ve noticed that I’m short on the leaders, so decided to go hi-tech with fluorocarbon. I’ve learned from this forum that they are great and I can do them myself.

Not so fast, looked easy but…… I know I have toothpaste with “fluoro” or something like that, but how the hell I’m going to find the carbon in the middle of summer and on weekend ?

I’ve wasted few hrs calling all kinds of dealers, but I was told that I can have a carbon in second half of November, just after the season closes. What a stupid idea. No choice now, I have to search my garage again for suitable materials. I knew that I have to have everything needed. This is what I “proudly” designed ( based on the knowledge from this forum),

 

 

I know it looks “unconventional”, but let me explain. The leader is little bit on the heavy side, but I do not want to loose 10” bass any more. The knot is my invention due to circumstances ( I wanted it to be strong). I’ve tried to tie Palomar and after hammering leader for about an hour I was able to put it through the eye of the hook, and then everything was O.K. until the moment when I should wet the ”line” and pull it tight. I’ve tried for about half an hr, but I could not put it in my mouth to wet it. So this is my new fishing knot, looks strong and attractive at the same time. When I was working on the leader I came to idea that fish society, like any other society has to has some addicts ( some like leaches, crayfish, worms and some should like to smoke ( usually couch potatoes) at the same time big and fat ( and this is what I’m looking for ). So this is my design: Almost weed less Player extra light K-size, impregnated with TNT with delayed convulsion time. It needs little bit of gas to set it up, but I think it should work. I will test it tomorrow.. It took me 4 hrs to make two leaders , but I’m sure the time was well spent.

 

Oh no, no, no, what a disappointment, I won’t be able to fish on the first day of the opener, I’ve completely forgot that I have to go to airport ( my mother in law is flying to Europe). In a desperation I’ve spent 4 hrs on the internet ( weather websites ). There is no way that the plane will crush due to weather.. At this time I definitely need Prozac…... What a relief.

But on Sunday, even kangaroo with broken leg in Australia won’t be able to stop me.

 

Woke up at the middle of the night on Sunday. Three quick coffees put me in gear.

I’ve attached boat to car and………. What is this f**** noise. Short inspection and I’ve disconnected battery charger ( little bit mangled but still works ).

In winter time I’ve spent countless hrs to prepare for this trip. From my place I need to turn right, stop at Timmies and then go strait until I see the water. Peanuts, ease like …..

, so I’ve grabbed three boxes of TimBits, two jumbo double-double and I’m on my way.

 

Forgot to mention one thing, I never leave for fishing trip without my notebook. It is the size of the phonebook, but it’ has already solved few problems for me. I have everything there, solutions for any problems, some of them from this forum. I have tried to memorize one paragraph about the PLUG, but finally I’ve said to myself: do not bother, everything is in the book.

 

So, I’ve left the Timmies, finished one box of TimBits ( coffee is still to hot ), set cruise control, grab the pillow and I’m ready to take a nap. I’m still thinking about this stupid

PLUG, what I should do remove it or put it back………………Why this plug looks red ?.

Holly crap, I’ve woke up in the right moment ( what an idiot installed traffic light in the middle of nowhere). This guy in 18-wheeler with load of steel is lucky that I did not hit him.. Little bit shaky and ticked of by stupidity I’ve arrived at boat launch.

Now I’m confused completely. Grabbed my notebook to find a solution for the problem, but I thing they missed it. Hope you can help me with this. First time in my fishing career I’ve arrived at the boat launch first. How the hell I supposed to park my car and trailer??

Usually there is at least one truck/trailer on the parking where I lunch, and I try to park about 12” from the driver’s side door of other car ( to leave enough parking space for other boaters ).

Now I’m confused completely, I was waiting 2 hrs for somebody to show-up, so I can park my rig by the rules. Finally I’ve said enough is enough, I’m here for fishing not as a parking guy. I’ve decided to leave my rig on the ramp, just in case that somebody will be ticked of , and unable to park.. So I’m launching my boat with a smile ( remembering PLUG, PLUG,PLUG and PLUG. So far, so good, water is pretty shallow ,so I’ve raised the motor ( from the notebook: five clicks up) and voile, I’m on the water. Last check, everything looks O.K including PLUG ., finally I’m fishing.

 

I’ve spent few days in winter to plan my B-DAY. I need about 20 min run to my first fishing spot ( east of the boat launch ). It is easy, sun is rising ( east ), so I set my autopilot ( 2’ piece of 2x4 with 2 “C” clamps ( my invention ), one end on the handle, the other on my arm )), started the motor and………… only lauder then normal. Tried forward, tried reverse this think is not moving. Back to notebook, they say look in the direction you are going, but I’m going nowhere. I’ve decided to brake the rules and look at the engine. Holly s***t , motor is still “5 clicks up” mixing air and almost red-hot..

I’ve grabbed the thermos, top cup is easy to unscrew, and the only cold liquid was a gasoline. I did not hesitated for a moment. Cooled it down and we are in the business again. Reset autopilot, finished 2nd box of TimBits, grabbed the pillow (nap), I have quiet 20 min to my first spot. When I was sliding in to “abyss” (nap – I LOVE IT ) I’ve heard the big, and I mean BIG Bang, I’ve opened my eyes and……. I’ve hit the bridge.!!!!. (I need to work little bit more on the auto-pilot ).

It took couple minutes for me to realize the seriousness of this event, And I’M ticked OFF BIG TIME. This is a fifth time I’ve hit this bridge this season, and I’m ticked off not because I’ve hit it but because there is another bridge on this lake, I did not hit yet and I think it is not fair.

 

Checked the boat and PLUG, everything looks O.K.. Early morning idea is to start with top waters, so I’ve casted brand new PoP R to the lily pads and……. There is something wrong here. This lure should float, but mine has hit the bottom with vengeance. Looks like leader is little bit too heavy, so I’ve tied directly to the cloth line. Little bit better, but still does not want to float. After few more tries I realized that it is defective, and I have to return it to CTC. What the waste of time? Still early so I’m going to try spinner bait in shallow water.. I’ve found the promising spot , dropped the anchor about 50 yards from shore ( could not get closer, it was reeeeeally shallow. I had to downsize with spinner baits (could not get them running straight), because blades were still in the air and body was already snagging bottom. Note to myself ( ask on the forum what is a definition of “shallow water”)

O.K. , I’ve wasted enough time with unproductive lures. Sun was pretty high already, so I’ve decided to fish little bit deeper then “shallow”. First cast along the weed line and I have a hit, after fierce battle I’ve landed my first fish. Quick picture, and it occurred to me that there is something wrong here.

 

 

Looked in my notebook ( identification pictures ) and after short (half hr ) study I’ve concluded that this is pike not bass.. Well, fish is a fish . Decided to move little bit deeper. Next hr was uneventful, then I have a hit and this is serious. I can see the fish for a moment, checked pictures in the notebook and this is definitely bass.

By my calculation "easy" 9+ lber. Fight is on, suddenly I hear the buzzer, Whoooooooo Hoooooooo, Lunch Time. Put rod aside, tied it to the anchor with spare leader ( I do not want to lose my PB fish ). To be sure that it is safe I’ve put my tackle box and cooler on the top of the rod. Bass can wait. Make myself comfy, coffee after 6hrs is still warm ( probably due to weather ), grabbed my turkey sandwich and……. The sandwich is little bit soft and does not taste and smell like turkey. I’m to excited to think about it right now

I will investigate this later. After lunch and short nap ( life is great ) I’m ready to fight this bass again. It took me half an hour untie the rod and straighten up few twisted eyelets, but finally I did it. I feel good weight on the line, looks like fish is tired, not fighting anymore. Grabbed the net and I have it……. 20 lb of “salad”. I’m looking in disbelieve, what the hell I did wrong?. Well, I’m thinking there are few more weekends

between bass opener and bass closer, so I still have a chance to catch my PB. Moved to a different spot, another hit, landed fish, quick comparison with the picture ( I’ve nailed pictures to the bottom of the hull, so I do not have to waste time looking for them in the notebook”), another pike, camera, click …….battery is dead. What the %$&$�&%$#?,

Quick look in my TO DO list (before each trip) and I instantly see the problem. In “before the trip” excitement I’ve typed “ Charge to battery” instead of “Charge two batteries”, thus only Deep Cycle was operational, but not camera. I have to think how to solve this problem for the future. I’ve landed few more pikes ( not a PB ), two of them got invitation for fish fry contests, and finally decided to finish my Bass opener. Now, do not get me wrong , I’m C&R guy almost 100% of the time, but my reasoning to invite 2 pikes for fish fry contest is very simple: To keep fishery in this great shape we have to cooperate with fishing stocks on every level. An average angler spends hundreds of $ every year to keep this thing running and in my opinion this small sacrifice from some of the members of fish, to participate in fish fry contest is reasonable. On my way to boat launch I was thinking why on every bass opener I’m catching Pike? No time to think about it now, I’m getting close to the ramp. Parking is full, but I do not see my rig, oh here it is ( middle of the road with three tickets under wiper blade.) Now, this is little bit over the top, but I’m more curious to find out how they did it with car’s keys still in my pocket ( next time I’m going to hide in the bushes to see it ). When I was pulling boat from the water ( by the book ) I’ve heard some stupid comments like moron, idiot redneck and few others I could not understand ( English is my second language ), but I was preoccupied with “of water” procedure to pay any attention. Quick look at the notebook and it says, “ remove the PLUG “. Now I’m usually easy going and reasonable but this stupid exercise ( put it , remove, put it, remove) really ticked me off big time), until I’ve read one sentence below. It says, “ to remove the water accumulated in the bottom of the boat”.

What water?? Oh crap, this explains why my turkey sandwich was little bit soft , smelled and tasted like “fresh” salmon fillet from grocery store.

Now I’m thinking… I can improve this procedure little bit. What is the point of hauling this big screw back and forth, I can leave it here on boat ramp and do not have to remember any more about it. Grabbed piece of 2X4 nailed it to the ramp, duct-taped my PLUG, marked it down “ IT IS MINE” and voile problem solved. There is no way I will forget it again.

 

I’m ready to go home. Hitch – checked, lights - works, little bit strange (left is right and right is left), but they are flashing.

 

I was ready to set the cruise control and grab the pillow to take a nap, when this stupid question comes back to me like a boomerang: Why for three years in a row on Bass Opener I’m catching only pike and on pike opener only bass?.. Well, after 8 hrs of fishing your mind is not perfectly clear to solve problem like this, but with the help of the fishing Gods I think I know what is the problem. BTW, I’m surprised that more experienced anglers did not discover this obvious thing.

 

Last edition of fishing regs was released three years ago, for last three years I’m catching bass on pike opener and pike on bass opener. Do not get it yet?, think!!!!, it is easy!!!

Well, O.K. , For anybody, who did not figured it out yet:

 

I’m 99% positive that they mixed up the dates of the opener for pike and bass, I will call MNR shortly, so they won’t do this stupid mistake in next edition of fishing regs.

 

Next thing that occupied my mind for few kilometres was the question of “ How I’m going to convince my neighbour to clean my catch again”?. Just when I was pulling on the driveway, I’ve realised that I still have 2 lbs of TNT hidden between the rock in my BBQ. I think I will tell him that If his answer is “NO” I will transfer this staff to his BBQ.

 

Now I’m going to have quick nap and later start planning next fishing weekend.

 

[tbayboy]

Ahh man thanks for that great report on an otherwise dreary day. Oh and congrats on 1000 posts too.

[ccmtcanada]

OMG...I was laughing out loud for this entire report!! Loved the whole story...from your leaders right to the screwup on openers for bass and pike. This was a great way to mark your 1000th post. If you are like this on the water, then I have to fish with you some time....I probably wont catch anything because of the stitches in my side, but it would be a hell of a lot of fun!

 

LOL...I'm still laughing here....

 

Thanks for posting this.....

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Edited June 27, 2007 by ccmtcanada

[tonyb]

What the... LOL

[solopaddler]

That was very funny!

[urbanangler1990]

dammmn, words just poured out of u huh? lol

[douG]

That was a great read, Keram. Thanks for that, and congratulations on your 1000th post.

[mattyk]

nice read.

[fishindevil]

Very interesting keram.....cheers

 

fish,hard fish often....never give -up Congrats on your 1000th post

Edited June 27, 2007 by fishindevil