Tuesday Funny (NF)

[Joey]

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, " I

clocked you at 100 km per hour, sir."

 

The driver says, "Gee, Officer I had it on cruise control at 60,

perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

 

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly

dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

 

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his

wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

 

The wife smiles demurely and says,

 

"You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

 

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar

detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched

teeth, "Damit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

 

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing

your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $135 fine."

 

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took

it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my

back pocket."

 

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have

your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

 

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver

turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

 

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband

always talk to you this way, Madam?"

 

 

 

 

(Wait for it.... )

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Only when he's been drinking."

[bassmaster4]

lmaooo

[ccmtcanada]

LOL...nice one Joey!!!

[Whopper]

[Guest mistyriver1]

[bbog]

Good one Joey - do you have another?

[John]

A couple of old boys were golfing one day, when one of the men said that he was going to go to Dr. Martinez for a new set of dentures in the morning. His elderly friend remarked that he, too, had gone to the very same dentist two years before.

 

 

 

"Is that so?" the first old gentleman asked. "Did he do a good job?"

 

 

 

The second gent replied, "Well, I was on the golf course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot. The ball must have been going at least 200 mph when it smacked me right in the nuts."

 

 

 

The first old guy was confused and asked, "What does that have to do with your dentures?"

 

 

 

The second man answered, "That was the first time in two years that my teeth didn't hurt."