OhioFisherman Posted February 14, 2007 Report Posted February 14, 2007 A few funnies to cheer us all up...... Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says No, really? Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Now that's taking things a bit far! Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus? Whaaat?? Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over What a guy! Miners Refuse to Work After Death Good-for-nothing lazy so-and-sos! Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant See if that works any better than a fair trial! War Dims Hope for Peace I can see where it might have that effect! If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile Ya think?! Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Who’d ‘a thunk! Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide They may be on to something! Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?! Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge He probably IS the battery charge New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group Weren't they fat enough?! Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Considering recent events – I don’t think I’m going there! Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Do they taste like chicken? Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half Chainsaw Massacre all over again! Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors Boy, are they tall! And the winner is..drumroll please… Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Did I read that right?
Rich Clemens Posted February 14, 2007 Report Posted February 14, 2007 Classic Headlines ... I can see it now.
Bernie Posted February 14, 2007 Report Posted February 14, 2007 Another one to add. You've Got to Love Drunk People A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunken guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!" "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!" The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes" comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?", calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.
fishergirl72 Posted February 14, 2007 Report Posted February 14, 2007 Another one to add. You've Got to Love Drunk People A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunken guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!" "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!" The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes" comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?", calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk. LOL, now that is a good one!
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