JohnF

I'm sure Cliff meant (beer) bubbles and (porno) movies. JF

I think you're right. And forgive me if I sound condescending. My problem is that I'm the victim of my own education. Here's irrefutable evidence that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Between Teacher's College and University psychology courses I've been corrupted. Humour me though, and consider this simple scenario. Dad smokes. In my day growing up all dads smoked. Those same dads told all their kids that smoking was stupid and that they'd tan junior's little behind if he was ever caught smoking. But Dad was Junior's hero in a lot of ways and we all wanted to emulate our heroes so we all tried smoking to be like Dad (and James Dean). When we got caught we got the promised tanning. In the back of our fertile little developing minds and psyches there grew a resentment at the inequity in this behaviour. We probably weren't even aware of it, perhaps didn't realize we actually resented Dad's Dichotomy, that contradiction of "Do as I say, not as I do." so we started acting out this resentment in little secret ways, and then in some not so secret ways so Dad would get the message that we'd caught him in that inconsistency, and that we could be contradictory in our actions, too, just like our hero Dad. So all the while we were thinking we actually respected him and felt bad we were hurting him we continued to punish him for his actions. Now multiply this by all the perceived inequities in our upbringing and you can see how the problem evolves. The human mind is a subtle, mysterious and powerful thing. It makes us do things we don't or can't begin to understand. Perhaps instead of saying "blame the parents" we should just say "Look to the parents first." For all their good intentions they aren't trained psychologists and they're bound to get some things wrong in an area as complicated as shaping young minds. And that doesn't even begin to consider genetics, hormones, chemistry and peer pressure. And modern society isn't much help. Too many bleeding hearts trying to help those they perceive to be disadvantaged when what the "disadvantaged" really needs is a role model and some discipline, not a handout. Being a parent these days is like walking through a minefield. We just tread lightly and hope we miss all the many waiting disasters. The best a parent can do is to be a consistent disciplinarian, provide the best possible role model and hope that our minor warts and moles don't lead our kids astray. Good luck to you young parents today. I've run that gauntlet and come out the other end relatively unscathed, more through good luck than good parenting. JF

The trick is to deliver the new suv with all the new fishing tackle you bought in the back cargo space. That way you get something out of it. I'm still trying to figure out how to fit my new flyrod and baitcaster in the trunk of a bouquet of flowers. JF

And when she says "Oh, you don't have to do anything for Mother's Day." - she's lying. It's a test. JF

So you want a 7500 yd track with topless caddies for under 200 bux? I'll check with Matt today. JF

My brother in law is a sleep apnea guy. He's also a fisherman, although not a member here. He does most of his fishing up on Manitoulin although he's supposed to be up at Quinte shortly. I can get you his email if you wanna pick his brain. He's a good guy (for an ex-cop). JF

I've offered to show a few folks my favourite spots (the ones I'm actually tired of but they work) but they seem to lose interest when I tell 'em they gotta wet wade to get there. What is it with people who are afraid to get their legs wet? I don't usually tell the bloodsucker stories till we get well up the creek. JF

You want challenging, sexy or cheap? My son (CPGA pro) plays there occasionally and might have some suggestions. JF

Aren't you over the "outraged" state yet? I've moved on to "frustrated resignation". The system is kinda broke and we really haven't the right tools, or at least the collective will to fix it. Smoking with kids in the car is something that shouldn't require legislation. It's just common sense. But the pols squander time and money on that kind of legislation so they can safely ignore the things that really need fixing, but they are afraid to tackle. We'll have personal dietary laws soon enough, certainly before they come down on organized gambling. JF

Sex is okay, but no smoking on the picnic table afterwards. JF

As a new recycled fisherman one of the joys of fishing for me today is checking out likely looking locations. As I drive around my part of the country I keep an eye on any water I see and if it looks promising I make a point of getting out to it later with my gear. I was introduced to a few sure spots early on but the evening I caught a smallmouth with what I'm certain was one of my own lost lures (grey rapala/slipped knot) still hanging from his lip I knew I'd been there too often, and I also knew I had to pay more attention to my knots. I was starting to feel like some of those fish were old friends. Once I know they're there and what they're gonna bite there's not much pleasure in it. I'm primarily a C&R guy. I just enjoy getting away from phones and people sometimes. Of course not every spot is productive but how bad can it be to just wade down a quiet stretch of river by yourself on a warm summer evening? I guess it's human nature to ask for tips but I don't really care if I get them or not. As much as anything I like to get clues as to where the best access points are to get into the creeks and where to park the car. For the rest of it I'm happy trying different lures and different retrieves. JF

Exackly. Now that we know the work's done and it's safe to come a'visitin', how the heck are we supposed to recognize your place without pics. Actually, I thought about making the trip just for fun, and to meet a few OFNers, but my wife decided we needed to go to Cleveland to visit the relatives instead. JF

Hey, that kind of trauma burns it's way into yer brain, even one as tiny and cluttered as mine. JF

There, ya went and drug up another memory. Way back when I was a neophyte real estate salesman I was scheduled to do an open house at a place in the country on a miserable snowy night when no one in their right mind would venture out to look at houses. I arrived at the established time, used the provided key to get into the house (the owners had gone out for the evening) and set up my materials. Then I went to the basement recroom (where the tv was ) and settled into the comfiest chair to wait out the clock. Time for a little background - these folks raised St. Barnyards, big sumbitches that did stuff like pulling in the Iditerod for fun. They took huge pride in telling how one of their pups was one of the Cujo dogs in the movie of the same name and that particular thought was first and foremost in my mind as I sat in the near dark in their funky little basement. The movie wasn't that old at the time. Back to the story - so I'm sitting watching the only channel they've got on their antenna in those days when I hear this kinda huffing snotty noise from beside my chair. At first I thought it was just the wind but then I heard it again. It sounded too juicy to be just the wind. I twisted around and looked down between the chair and the wall - - there was the biggest damned St.Barnyard I'd ever seen - bloodshot eyes that could have transfused the victims of a double bus collision, a head that would overflow a bushel basket and enough snot to supply all the Pike in Lake Ontario dripping from his nose. I'm glad I was younger then, because my heart went into instant hyperdrive. All I could think was CUJO. It's just a funny recollection now, but it was over the top scary that night. I was actually afraid to move for a while. I even offered up a little prayer that some potential house buyer would just walk in and the behemoth would go after them, at least long enough for me to escape. You may have gotten the impression by now that I'm not a big time dog lover - you'd be exactly on the money, and that was a crappy experience. Mebbe ya had to be there to understand. JF

Now, there's a bass with attitude. JF

I'd rather have to deal with a nasty dog with no teeth anyway. I used to use miniature marshmallows when I was a kid with a paper route. One dog figgered out where I lived and some days would be waiting for me in the morning at my own door. (Pre loose dog bylaw days). He was kinda cool. He was a three-legged boxer named Socko. He wandered all over St.Marys. There were a couple of less friendly critters too, but they all seemed to like mini-marshmallows. JF

The people you're describing tend to only see my clients once. I'm not saying I can influence all of their potential clientel, but I can sure get to a few of them. In a small town like I work in the lenders need my good will more than I need theirs, and the smart ones tend to know it. I'll start to get concerned when I run out of mortgage lenders who agree with me. Frankly, I don't find the busiest mortgage officers and brokers have to be watched around here. They tend to do a good job without any pressure. They seem to get the fact that a lot of repeat and referral business is easier, better and probably safer from a lender risk standpoint than having to shop for new suckers all the time. And it's not that the good brokers are starving here. In fact, some of the most obliging ones do very nicely for a small town. The market conditions may be entirely different in your area. I like the way it works here. I will say that it can be kinda frustrating when a newcomer to town wants to deal with their old familiar branch way off in the Big Smoke or otherwheres and some twerp with a nifty suit, shiny hair and cosmopolitan attitude tries to impose peculiar requirements that the locals don't need or want, like a Phase I environmental on a simple residential property. Typically I've noticed that dealing with a lender from the big city tends to complicate things locally and as often as not the mortgagor ends up with more expense and fewer benefits than had they dealt with the same bank locally. YMMV To give you an idea how it works in a small town - way back when Scotiabank was still called V&G around here a client of mine was getting hassled about mortgaging a service station. This was pre-environmental assessment days. He was told that despite his good covenant the company had a "no gas station" policy. I made a single phone call to the then President of V&G who happened to have been one of my paper route customers when I was a kid, and also a bridge buddy of my folks. He asked some questions and said I'd be hearing back. The next morning I got a phone call from the commercial lending dept informing me that the bank policy had been changed and to tell the prospective mortgagor that he was good to go. I realize that's less likely to happen in Toronto. In fact, now that Scotiabank has taken over, it likely wouldn't happen here either. Besides, I have no idea who the President is any more. I'm nobody's ex-paperboy any more. JF

I'm thinking like a property seller. It's pretty discouraging for folks who decide it's time for a bigger place to find out that they can't get out of their bargain mortgage without a huge penalty and perhaps rate adjustment that more than offsets the savings they've been enjoying. In my experience the mainstream banks and trust companies tend to offer the best combination of rate discounts and features for the average home buyer. If you're absolutely certain you'll never move, never want to sell, and will never be able to pay down the principal with a lump sum, then by all means go for the rate only. Selling property is my business and I see it all the time where folks are mousetrapped because they got no advice, or worse, bad advice going in. My son almost fell for the rate bait the first time he tried mortgage shopping on his own. I caught it in time. He really appreciated it less than a year later when he was ready to sell that place, and he's been cognisant of it ever since. Consequently he's always been able to port, blend and/or simply discharge to suit the circumstances of the moment, and he's never overpaid on interest in the longer run. At worst he has to plan a few months ahead to make his move. There are some pretty good people working at the local level of mortgage lending. All you have to do is find them. Any good realtor knows who they are. That's not a criticism of independent brokers. I use several of them as well as lenders who work directly with major banks. Typically they often end up taking the good covenants to the mainstream lenders anyway because the terms are the best for the consumer. The banks have come a long way in their mortgage lending practices since the late 70's. The trust companies showed them how, but they were willing to learn. There was a time I steered everyone to the big trust companies. Not so any more. And I don't accept finders fees from lenders. They know I only expect good and conscientious service for my clients. JF

Yeah. Now, if I could only learn as much about fishing as I know about lobbying, real estate and mortgages I'd be all set. JF

Thanks for the warning. I live a few hundred yards from where some are being housed. I s'pose I could just join the party though. JF

The other thing to consider is the Canadian tax burden. We have a great country that's relatively uncrowded (well, except for the 401) but someone has to pay for the infrastructure. We're 1/10 the population of the US supporting approximately the same land mass. If we added 270,000,000 people our gas would probably be cheaper. Somehow the extra few bucks a year don't sound so bad in that context. JF

We've all gotta be good for something in life. JF

I doubt you'll get anyone to guarantee anything better than their posted rate at whatever terms you choose at some future time. That's why it's important to have a good handle on the changing money market and use the flexibility of short term to put pressure on the lender at that time to put up or shut up. With any kind of luck you'll be close enough to an renewal date to swap an extension in time for an advantageous rate when you lock in. It's not unreasonable to think that if you see long term advantages to locking in a rate there will also be advantages to going for a longer term as well. Does that make sense? Regardless, it's almost impossible to have it all. You cover as many contingencies as you can and hope for the best with the rest. JF

Methinks a lot of our service industry employers (Ontario to Florida) should try to hire whoever trains the service staff at the resorts and restaurants we frequent when we're in Cancun. They've got it figured out. Even the most obnoxious customers can't crack these people, and if you act decently you get royal treatment everywhere. I think it has more than a little to do with the North American "entitlement" issues. To many workers here want it all now - top wages, perfect working conditions, no responsibility, and a private office - but they really aren't all that interested in serving the apprenticeship time or actually getting proper training. JF

Check your mutual funds. It might please you. Profit is why these companies are in business. In a back-handed sort of way it's almost nice to see someone or something actually getting some good out of these stupid wars, insurrections and international p--sing contests going on around the world. Before anyone jumps on me for that remember I said "almost". JF