bigugli Posted March 18, 2013 Report Posted March 18, 2013 Dear Mr. Harper: Please find below our suggestion for fixing Canada 's economy.Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.Pay them 1 million dollars each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:1) They MUST retire.Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed 2) They MUST buy a new car.Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed 3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed 4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed 5) They MUST buy $50 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week ..... And there's your money back in duty/tax etc It can't get any easier than that!P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowancesIf you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.Also..How about putting the very elderly pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.. That way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance. Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.Each senior could have a PC, a TV, radio and daily phone calls.There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay $300.00 per week and with little hope of ever getting out.
SirCranksalot Posted March 18, 2013 Report Posted March 18, 2013 Too complicated. All they need to do is change jaywalking from being an offence to being mandatory for seniors.
fishnsled Posted March 18, 2013 Report Posted March 18, 2013 (edited) A couple of problems with the proposal, 1st - I don't have kids. 2nd - I would have to buy a new boat as well (too make up for not having kids of course). 3rd - At 50 you will need more money to retire that early - I'll do it for 2 million. Of which 1.5 million would be invested into some kind of a RIFF and live off the interest/principle. (Could do away with the Canada Pension then.) When I die, whatever is left over they can have it back for the next person. Edited March 18, 2013 by fishnsled
Twocoda Posted March 19, 2013 Report Posted March 19, 2013 fishnsled if you dont have kids...you should already have a million or two kicking around under your mattress
registerfly Posted March 19, 2013 Report Posted March 19, 2013 too simplistic and idealistic in nature to assume this would remotely work
alphaalpha Posted March 19, 2013 Report Posted March 19, 2013 hehe 10mil @ 1mil each = 10tril? Good luck getting that upfront cash
bigugli Posted March 19, 2013 Author Report Posted March 19, 2013 fishnsled if you dont have kids...you should already have a million or two kicking around under your mattress AIN'T IT THE TRUTH
Lungelarry Posted March 19, 2013 Report Posted March 19, 2013 (edited) I didn,t know Harper was on OFC...??????? Edited March 19, 2013 by Lungelarry
Roy Posted March 19, 2013 Report Posted March 19, 2013 I didn,t know Harper was on OFC...??????? If you saw yesterday's news, you'd know that he will read this or at least have it reported to him.
fishnsled Posted March 19, 2013 Report Posted March 19, 2013 fishnsled if you dont have kids...you should already have a million or two kicking around under your mattress There was more but the ex-wife got it... .. ..
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now