Some Good Advice

[Billy Bob]

AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

 

AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

 

FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~

SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

 

A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

 

IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

 

YOU NEED ONLY TWO TOOLS IN LIFE ~

WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

 

IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

[HTHM]

When peeing have your back to the wind.

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.

Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties.

Edited January 23, 2012 by HTHM

[vance]

When the son asked if he and the daughter inlaw could move in temporarily while they were going thru a bad stretch I said sure,just one rule--there is NO WAY I am putting up the toilet seat..

 

vance

[skeeter]

If you ever get crap from a woman for leaving the toilet seat up, ask her when the last time was that she went to the washroom then put the seat up for you!!!!!!!!

 

Case closed......