Thought about doing some of these things NF

[Bernie]

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

 

 

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,

'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other

shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from

the bedding departmen

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a

mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While looking/handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by

using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,

yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least .

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

[danc]

Funny stuff Bernie. Thanks for sharing.

[e-z-out]

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,

'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other

shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from

the bedding departmen

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a

mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While looking/handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by

using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,

yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least .

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

 

 

My fave has to be 15

[bigugli]

Those are some good little pranks

 

I admit to going to the fitting room with an armful of women's dresses tucked under my arm. It took the poor employees a good half hour to find an appropriate manager with a tactful way of telling me I could not try the dresses on.

 

 

That's all part of the fun of being in the zoo.

 

My fave, going to Bloor station at rush hour with a few friends, stand back from the crowd, and when they push and shove their way onto the train commence with a chorus of Mooooooooo, Baaaaaaa. Amazing how many people will freeze in their tracks to find the culprit.

 

Try to make eye contact with as many as you can on the train, then give them a big smile. Drives people nuts.

 

Another stunt requires a bull horn. Attention shoppers, 70% clearance sale in aisle 4 for the next 10 minutes.

 

Hazard taping the entrance to a store with police tape anybody?

 

The joys of university pranks and alcohol.